How to understand that a midlife crisis has ended. How to behave at this time. Features of the crisis

How is a midlife crisis expressed in men and ways that can help a man cope with depression during this period.

Have women ever experienced such situations when a once cheerful and cheerful loved one suddenly becomes gloomy and irritable? Do frequent depressions already seem normal to you? Congratulations, your chosen one smoothly transitioned into middle age and felt the crisis of this period. Let's figure out together what this time is and how to cope with it.

What is a midlife crisis in men?

Not all women realistically assess the situation in which a man finds himself during a midlife crisis. It seems to wives that all this is trifle and nonsense. But for a man this is deeply psychological stress.

After all, it is during this period that, in a man’s understanding, he ceases to be a reckless guy (even if he has been married for 10 years), but becomes a serious and responsible man. And if the wife does not support and reassure the man, then he can not only withdraw into himself, but even go on a long binge or find solace in another woman.

What is a midlife crisis? It's actually simple a certain milestone in which a man already has status, family and a certain circle of friends. But for a man, the crisis has its own specific nuances.

He suddenly realizes that half of his life is already behind him and takes a closer look at what he has. In addition, he looks very meticulously - the car could be better, the house bigger, the wife more beautiful. And here it is, depression has arrived.

By his personal standards, everything he achieved was very modest. Again, he remembers his mistakes that were made at the time, in his opinion, of his youth. And realizing that not all of them could be corrected, he becomes even more sad.

The next stage is a reassessment of values. Now what you wanted to achieve before doesn’t seem so desirable. And what is desired is very unrealistic. It becomes unclear to a man what he needs and how to get it.

In addition, the man believes that he is still great and should do everything better than the young guys at work, in the gym during training. And when for some reason this does not happen, a wave of negative emotions simply covers the man. And when he approaches the mirror and sees a couple of new wrinkles or gray hair along with an emerging fox, a man loses the remnants of optimism.

Signs and symptoms of midlife crisis in men at 30, 33, 35, 40, 45, 50, 52 years and after

So, let's look at what men look and feel during a midlife crisis. It is also important to consider that it does not last a week or a month, but can last for several years.

A man's behavior changes dramatically. That merry fellow is no longer there - a gloomy, depressed man has appeared. Guys who were previously calm become, on the contrary, the life of the party, and may become excessively involved in alcohol.
The man now goes to work very reluctantly. After all, 20 years ago he dreamed that he would become the head of a holding company, but it turned out that now he is only a manager in a trading company. But he really understands that achieving something will be more difficult than at the age of 20. If you don’t support a man in time, you may end up getting fired from your job.
Accompanied by a deterioration in the psychological state, the man physical health deteriorates. After all, as has long been proven, all problems are caused by nerves. And worrying about any failures, a man faces deteriorating health.
A man becomes dissatisfied for any reason- your favorite borscht is now under-salted and sour, your beautiful wife suddenly has a belly fat and cellulite. And he himself turns into an old man. These thoughts simply weigh heavily on a man.

From 30 to 33 years old, a man has another crisis period when he gains complete independence and freedom. And it is very important not to let a man savor freedom, because if he is married, then this union will weigh on him. Free people, having gained freedom, will not want to burden themselves with family ties.

From time immemorial, a man was a breadwinner and a warrior. But over time, the biological clock, ticking, led the guy to irreversible aging processes. This is where the crisis arose, because realizing that youth is passing, the following also appear:

Loss of strength
Hormonal changes
Decreased libido and, as a consequence, potency
Weight gain

The midlife crisis in men can be compared to menopause in women. This can be related to reduced level testosterone in the blood. But men absolutely do not want to lose their past successes, including sexually. Therefore, it is often after 35 years they have several more ladies of their hearts.

In this way, a man proves, first of all, to himself that he can still attract the attention of women. That is, it simply asserts itself.

And if before the age of 35 men are looking for themselves and achieving certain goals, then after 40 they already consider and evaluate everything that they have achieved. And according to psychologists, a man at 40-45 years old wants to see himself like this:

In career - a victorious warrior
In the family - the head and breadwinner
The steering wheel is only for a high-class car and a powerful yacht
In society - recognition and admiration

And if all this is achieved, then the man does not experience joy. Again, by the age of 50, you get more and more fears. What to do next? Buy another car or house, go to a resort. But all this somehow fails to evoke what many may find delightful.

And his wife, it seems to him, no longer admires his successes so much. And buying another fur coat is considered a given, without gratitude in the eyes.

In addition, from 40 to 55 years old, a man is terribly tormented by one thought - he may lose potency. And without this, as the powers that be believe, they no longer mean anything. And then it begins, as in the well-known saying, “gray hair in the beard, devil in the rib.”

Young lovers, according to older men, stimulate his libido and improve potency. But this is the mistake men make - they think that it is the deterioration of potency that has cooled their family life and support it with the help of young girls. But it is the presence of a mistress (rarely a woman does not know about her rival) that worsens her personal life.

After all, the woman also worries that she is no longer as fresh as before. And maybe the man has lost interest in her. This is how a snowball of misunderstanding turns out, which can destroy a family.

It is important to be patient, because a man may have a crisis from 3 to 5 years. And often the outcome of this period depends on the wise behavior of relatives and wives. After all, the endurance of the wife and children will help the man return to his family and familiar circle. It is not the desire to understand the husband’s psychological disorders that leads to the breakdown of the family.

When does a midlife crisis in men begin and end, and how long does it last?

As we have already found out earlier, a midlife crisis is a very individual period that can begin both at 30 and 50 years old. It all depends on the man’s inner mood and his values – family, children, successful work.

The fewer values a man has, the earlier and longer the crisis period can last. Therefore, it is important to identify the cause in time and take comprehensive measures to eliminate the partner’s depression. The wife needs to have conversations with her husband, support him, and involve the children in spending time together.

It is important for a man to understand that he is not alone and everything is in his power. Only in this case will the midlife crisis pass for a man quickly and with the least emotional distress. If the wife and children cannot help the man on their own, then you may have to seek help from a psychologist.

Midlife crisis in men - depression: how to survive it, how to get out of it?

Depression during a midlife crisis is a phenomenon that will not surprise anyone. But it must be overcome. Let's figure out how to do this.

Let's look at everything step by step:

Problems at work– low salary, always dissatisfied management, envious colleagues.

In this case, you need to find out whether you need this type of activity. Maybe you should take a little vacation and look for yourself new job. Yes, it’s difficult and maybe even scary to start something over again. But is this worse than going to work like going to hard labor? Or maybe you can try working for yourself. You just need to decide on the field of activity and not give up.

Problems with my wife- misunderstandings, scandals.

The important thing here is not to be selfish. Reconsider your behavior, because it’s not only the woman who is wrong in everything. Think about how best to smooth out this or that situation. Take one step forward and get two steps in return.

But if a man cannot cope with depression on his own and the situation only gets worse, then you need to visit a specialist. An experienced psychologist will be able to help, find common ground and ways to solve the problem.

In addition, if the depression is deep, the psychotherapist may resort to drug treatment.

IMPORTANT: Drug treatment should only be carried out by a psychotherapist. There is no need to treat a man with medications that helped a relative or colleague. The choice of drug is selected individually, taking into account the degree of depression.

Drug treatment may consist of:

Antidepressants, of which there are a huge number. All of them help eliminate anxiety and depression. They also improve sleep and appetite.
tranquilizers, which are used at the beginning of short-term treatment. The effect of taking the drugs occurs after about 2 weeks.
Mood stabilizers. These drugs eliminate depressive disorder and stabilize mood. After taking the drug, the man will not experience mood swings in the depressive direction.
Vitamins– B vitamins are used to normalize the nervous system.

Midlife crisis in men - mistresses, leaving the family: what should a woman do?

Every woman has faced a man's midlife crisis. Very often a man finds a solution to the problem in a new hobby, a young girl who will lift his spirits and more.

The result of such spree is often divorce, and most often on the initiative of the wife. But in vain, because when going to the side, a man never at first thinks about leaving the family. A man after 35 in this case can look for new positive emotions and a sexual charge, nothing more. And no matter how the wives think about eternal love, but the man is fed up with family ties and is looking for fire on the side.

But many men at the age of 40 admit that their wife completely suits them as a companion, hostess and mother. And a girl on the side is just a temporary hobby. And while spending leisure time with his mistress, a man first of all thinks about maintaining a secret. After all, he is an excellent family man, a careerist and a caring father. And if this happens, then the combination of mistress + wife brings him a positive emotional surge.

But everything secret someday becomes clear and the time comes when the wife finds out about the betrayal from “well-wishers”. Moreover, very often the mistress herself informs about this, thinking that, in this way, she will get the man alone. Not every woman is ready to be in the background all her life.

And if the betrayal had not been exposed, then after a year or two the man was tired of his young passion, and he returned to the quiet family shore. But in life there are unpredictable and unexpected situations. What to do?

It is important for a woman to behave with restraint and correctly in this situation. And this means, so that your husband does not go away to seek solace on the side during a crisis of depression, try to take care of yourself, be well-groomed and feminine. Support your man, listen to him and be a friend, partner and a great lover.

But don't turn self-care into fanaticism. Otherwise, a man will leave his eternally brilliant wife with long nails and false eyelashes to go where they will simply prepare him delicious borscht. Find a middle ground.

But imagine that you were informed about treason. What are your actions? Yes, first of all, I want to tear out all my mistress’s hair, slap my husband in the face and throw him out the door, expecting him to crawl on his knees every day begging for forgiveness.

But here it is important to understand the psychology of a forty-year-old man. At this age, they no longer want troubles, although many never want this. And especially if the other one accepts him with open arms, then it may turn out that by collecting his things, you will only make his life easier. He will calmly go into the warm arms of a satisfied passion.

But this course of events does not suit us. Therefore, you should remember these rules:

Keep your mouth shut. Yes, it’s difficult and you want to do something nasty to your mistress in front of everyone. But be wise, this will be credited to you later. And later, when everything ends well for you, you will pour your spouse on the first day. But now it is important not to disclose these personal nuances.
Find an ally. Believe it or not, your mother-in-law will help you with this. After all, she also worries about her beloved son. And if she finds out that he abandoned his children and his wife for the sake of a young, fidgety girl, she is unlikely to be happy. Maybe, for starters, she will show irony to her daughter-in-law that, apparently, she behaved badly with her son, since he went on a spree. But he will have a conversation with a man, rest assured.
Get information about your opponent. You won’t find out the truth from a man, besides, he will easily tell you that he had nothing to do with it, that she bewitched her, got her drunk, etc. But you need to find out everything about her as much as possible and understand what attracted your man to her.

Here the one who is wiser and more self-possessed, cunning and calm will win. You just need to let your husband go, yes, yes, you heard right. Just tell your husband: “If she is more important to you, then you can be with her. But you should know that I cannot live without you, because I love and value you.”

Remember that the best way to keep a man is to let him go. Under no circumstances should you kick your husband out. Even if it hurts a lot and you don’t have the strength to see him. Talk to your partner and let him talk.

It is also important to learn to forgive. Yes, it is difficult and painful, but all people make mistakes. And maybe right now your husband has realized how dear you and your family are to him.

The main thing to remember is that it is important to be attentive to each other. Do not spend your leisure time with books and TV alone, but do everything together, find common interests, travel. And then the husband will be so passionate about his family and wife that, behind the joyful impressions, he will not allow the demon to penetrate his soul and body.

When is the most difficult age for men – the crisis years?

For men, a crisis period can occur more than once, and at different periods of a man’s life he is faced with situations that cause him to feel depressed. These periods can be divided into the following:

13-16 years old- at this age, a guy wants to seem very mature not only in the eyes of others, but also in his own. An important action at this moment is to demonstrate independence from parents. But the response often results only in conflicts and misunderstandings.
21-23 years old– during this period, studies have already been completed and you have to bear responsibility for your actions at work. It’s no longer possible to skip a couple or not do homework. Now you have to come to work early and possibly stay late. Gatherings with friends don't happen so often anymore. At first, all this can cause a feeling of tossing, nervousness, and fussiness in a young man.
30 years old– this period for some is a harbinger of a crisis, and for some it already completely takes hold at this age. During this period, a man begins to realize what he has achieved in life and what niche he has occupied. There comes an understanding that some standards were set too high and therefore not achieved.

35 years old– at this moment the man begins to look at his surroundings. And first of all, this concerns the wife and children. Now it seems to him that falling in love has already passed, and a routine and time have appeared that cannot be returned. Now the days fly by for him inexorably, adding new wrinkles to his face. Where would we be without depression? Quarrels, scandals, and sprees of a depressed man are often noted here. But, if the wife finds the strength to endure this period, then the man’s depression goes away over time and he begins to live more realistically, set achievable goals and successfully achieve them.
By the age of 40 the man develops a new degree of depression. And even if a person is quite successful, then the reason turns out to be new. Namely, illness. At this age, a man was most likely already in the hospital for one reason or another, monitoring the chronic diseases of friends with whom he could previously revel incessantly for several days in a row. And here very often thoughts about death arise. After all, age, in their opinion, already obliges us to think about it. Here it is important to convey to the man that you just need to monitor your own health and healthy image life.
50 years- now a man is increasingly becoming like small child. In addition, the child is sickly, the man constantly begins to hurt something. But if the wife does not support the man at this most difficult moment for him, then it is possible that he will find a young girl who will care and naively look into the eyes of her beloved. This is where he will seek peace.

Try to help the man cope with emotional breakdowns. Understand that this may seem like a small thing to you, but for the stronger sex such failures become a problem and a very serious one. Take care of your loved ones!

Midlife crisis in men: what are the consequences?

No matter how long depression lasts, it cannot last forever. And therefore it is important to provide possible consequences of this period. They may be as follows:

Favorable. After much painful thought, the man decides that his wife is still a reliable support and support, his children love him, and his work brings him pleasure. Therefore, the man begins to set more realistic goals for himself and returns to a normal, cheerful life.

Unfavorable. In this case, a man who is not satisfied with anything in his life begins to change everything dramatically. This applies to everything: wife, work, environment. Very often, having failed to achieve success in his new life, a man knocks on the door of his abandoned wife. But this door is not always opened. Such events can drag a man into a new depression and leave him, as they say, broke.

Midlife crisis in men: how to overcome?

If you are looking for a solution to your man’s midlife crisis on the Internet, then you are both right and making a mistake. You are right because you need to read information and psychological advice from other people. This needs to be done in order to be prepared for the different course of a man’s depressive state. But the mistake may be that not all measures are applicable to your husband. All people are individual, and what helped one woman’s husband will not always help yours.

Having more or less figured out what needs to be done, it’s time to study the main mistakes. These are the actions that should not be performed:

Do not force yourself on a depressed man with advice. There is no need to use: “I believe”, “I am sure”, “I know what is best.” A man must understand that he himself is capable of making this or that decision.
Don't blame yourself for your husband's depression. Every man experiences this stage to one degree or another.
A man should not see your tears. In this situation, he will not feel sorry for you, but will only become even more angry.
Do not be offended if a man does not show signs of attention to you, he is now all about himself and his problems. But you, in turn, show tenderness and support your partner. This will give him confidence in his need.
Give the man freedom, let him think calmly. But make sure that he doesn’t like this freedom.
Never talk about divorce. In such a state, a man can easily agree to this, and then you will have to regret it.
No scenes of jealousy. This can lead either to a groundless scandal out of nowhere or the man leaving your life.
Don't stop looking after yourself. Play sports, visit beauty salons. Be in shape, but don't make a doll of yourself. Self-development of a partner will invigorate a man.

A man's midlife crisis is inevitable. But thanks to close people and a pleasant home atmosphere, it can be fleeting and easy.

Video: Midlife crisis in men

A midlife crisis in women can occur at different ages, that is, as a rule, psychologists everywhere say that it occurs after 40 years, however, symptoms in some women can be detected even at 30 years old. Why then does it happen that a midlife crisis in women occurs not at the moment of menopause, when a woman is just over 40 years old, but long before this biological period, that is, literally, when she is just 30 years old? It is necessary to clarify and deal with this, because not only can you discover symptoms of this period of life, which is by and large inevitable, you need to be prepared and understand that when a woman experiences such a midlife crisis, you need to clearly understand what to do with it now.

Life went on... Ups and downs, first tears of love, parting with friends, admission to university, sessions, diploma, hassle at work. All the joys and sorrows of life are like a zebra - a black stripe, a white stripe... The years passed, misfortunes took us by surprise, and then were replaced by a series of happy moments. But here it comes... Midlife crisis. It seems that everything that could happen has already happened, and in the future there is only hopeless darkness without hope.

Most often, a midlife crisis in women occurs at the age of 40, but it can occur at 3 or after 45 years.

Midlife crisis in women: symptoms and signs, what to do after 40 years:

Fear of losing attractiveness.

A woman may have a negative attitude towards young girls, become irritated, consider their actions wrong, and their appearance too provocative. Perhaps there is a subconscious fear of the “fading” of youth hidden here. The reflection in the mirror causes more and more pessimism, even if the woman looks good and takes care of herself.

Dissatisfaction with personal life.

If a woman is married, then her relationship with her husband becomes strained. Her tears, hysterics, memories of her bygone youth provoke quarrels in the family. The woman remembers all the lovers she refused, and now regrets it, imagining how her life could have turned out if she had acted differently. If a woman is not married, then she is overcome by depression associated with thoughts that this is the end. Imagination paints pictures of how she will remain lonely and unwanted.

Dissatisfaction with work and career.

Why did you enter an economics university 20 years ago, although your soul always asked for creativity? What if she were a famous actress or singer now? Or why in your youth did you decide to go to medical school and not economics? So you have to sit in the hospital, doing hard work for a small salary, and with ungrateful patients. Or maybe I would now be sitting in the director’s chair, while having my own business. Such thoughts are often characteristic of women experiencing a midlife crisis. During this period, there is a deep rethinking of life, including career.

Fear of diseases.

Do you have a headache? Hasn't it been a few days already? What if something serious happens! Any ailment may seem to a woman the beginning of a serious illness. Although, in reality, the body can be overworked by workload and stress.

Feeling the onset of a midlife crisis, a woman can commit any destructive actions, just not to think about her depressive state. For example, working for days without a break, “looking younger”, while looking ridiculous, changing lovers like gloves.

It is possible to overcome a midlife crisis. All you need is a little patience, and the difficult stage of life will be behind you.

Firstly, the midlife crisis in women is perceived negatively

Learn the concept of positive thinking. Thinking positively means being able to consider the positive aspects of difficulties. If you regret that you work in a boring job, and in your youth you imagined yourself only in a creative profession, then think about what your job gives you. Perhaps this high salary, and you can provide for yourself. In India people live very poorly. The poorest population does not even have a home. They only have a bed, which is located by the road (it’s good that the climate allows you not to have a roof over your head). Think about the fact that these people don’t have even a hundredth of what you have. And if you miss creativity so much, then make it a part of your life: write a book (writing may help your depression go away), draw, try a sand fresco.

And if you work as a doctor for a low salary, think about the fact that you are doing good to people. You save lives every day. And this is very important!

Secondly, the midlife crisis in women after 40 will force them to reconsider their views

reconsider your attitude towards your personal life. If you are still single, then forget about it. You are not alone - you are free! Men your age are unlikely to choose female students for serious relationships. To start a family, they will still prefer someone of the same age. And we do not live in the Middle Ages, when a girl was a perishable commodity, and a woman at 40 was a very old woman.

Thirdly, a midlife crisis in women at 40 will force them to take care of themselves

Don't stop looking after yourself. Do you know those women who turned 45 and cut their hair short, had chemicals done and gained weight? There are also thirty-year-olds and even twenty-five-year-olds. But now there are other examples. There are women who are 42, but they are in excellent physical shape. They look no more than 25. You can even look 25 at 52 if you take care of yourself. In this case, age is just a number on your passport.

Fourthly, a midlife crisis in women even at 30 will force them to develop

find yourself a hobby. A passionate person is less susceptible to depression. Remember - what did you love in your youth? Maybe you were interested in books or growing flowers? Read something. Now, with the advent of the Internet, many books have become available. Among them you can find what you like. Or buy some new plants. And decorate the house, and your mood will improve. Or maybe you will discover something new for yourself, find a new hobby?

Fifthly, a midlife crisis in women will lead to success

set a goal for yourself. Is your life empty? The mother-in-law doesn’t torment you with moralizing, the children have grown up, you won’t get grandchildren from them, and several years of the same routine work? Why, you are free now! Take time for yourself and reflect on your personal meaning. What did you want most? Have you dreamed of traveling since childhood? So make your dream come true! Maybe you are interested in religion? What is closer to you? Christianity, Buddhism, Islam? Go to the temple, find a spiritual mentor. Go to datsan. If you want, go to Tibet. If you don’t want to go anywhere, you can find meaning without leaving home. Do you love animals? If yes, then get yourself a furry friend - a cat, a dog, a hamster. Or maybe try something exotic and get a snake? But this is everyone's personal matter. Besides, snakes are not such pets after all.

Sixthly, a midlife crisis in women will force them to appreciate what they have received from life

appreciate your loved ones. Your years are your wealth. Appreciate what you have, what you have acquired. Appreciate every moment of life and be happy!

There is nothing eternal in this life. And youth is no exception. This is what often causes such a problem as a midlife crisis in women. There are, of course, some general reasons for this type of crisis in a person’s life, but there are also purely female characteristics.

Perhaps you began to ask yourself why we stop loving ourselves and believing in our own strengths?

What if life suddenly began to seem completely sad and gray? These questions begin sooner or later to torment almost every woman who has approached or crossed the age of 35 and has come to a stage of crisis in her life.

Causes of stress

This may sound strange, but such a phenomenon as a midlife crisis actually has no specific reasons. Rather, reaching a certain age is perceived in itself as a certain milestone in life, when a person understands that there are things that he has missed, and the fear that this will not be caught up. This fear, in principle, can be considered the main reason.

Under the influence of this fear, the perception of yourself, your achievements and your life in general changes. For clarity, we can recall the theory of a glass that is half full.

So, if for a long time you saw this glass as half full, then suddenly it begins to seem to you that it is half empty, but this does not mean at all that anything has changed. You just started to think differently about it, your perception has changed.

Drawing an analogy, we can say that a midlife crisis in women simply deprives them of an objective perception of themselves as individuals. This is what provokes emotional decline, which affects almost everything. important aspects life – work, communication with family and friends.

A woman looks at her own reflection in the mirror day after day and, instead of a mature and beautiful person, sees an uneven complexion, small wrinkles, insufficient beautiful hair and many other shortcomings, which in fact may not exist at all.

To prove to women that they are much more beautiful than they think about themselves, a very interesting experiment. The women entered the room one by one, talked to each other for a few minutes, and then each was given the task of describing their interlocutors to the portrait artist.

The effect was unexpected, since the participants in the experiment, looking at their portraits, realized that smiling and pretty women were looking at them from the finished paintings, completely different from how they see themselves. The conclusion suggests itself - you shouldn’t find fault with yourself. You are amazing!

A midlife crisis in women can also manifest itself in the form of dissatisfaction with one's own successes.

For a person experiencing such stress, self-criticism is always working “in the background.” He is haunted by the feeling that everything is falling out of hand and nothing is working out.

If you find yourself in this description, you should slow down a little and think about everything that is happening. Perhaps you're just tired of everything? Or maybe the reason is a bad mood? You need to try to think positively and filter your thoughts, because they are material.

You need to stop criticizing yourself mercilessly. Start praising yourself for any success and stop engaging in self-criticism and self-digging, and you will immediately notice that your self-esteem will begin to increase little by little, and life will begin to improve.

Signs of a crisis

Now we will look at the main signs by which you can understand that you are experiencing a midlife crisis.

1. You begin to think that you are getting old, that the years are taking their toll, and your appearance is already far from ideal.

2. Everything annoys you, you don’t want anything, and you’re afraid of thoughts about the future.

3. You begin to think more carefully about your health.

4. You realize that half of your life has been lived, and you won’t have time to do much. Factors causing a midlife crisis

Age

If for men the midlife crisis begins with work, for women it begins with appearance. Women are either terrified of the future outlined, or they perceive change as an inevitable evil. Of course, because the media in different forms instilled in us such postulates as “The power of a woman is in her beauty” and “After 30 years, fading begins.”

It is unlikely that anyone will want to admit that they are “faded.” But not one cosmetic procedure cannot restore sparkle to the eyes, flexibility to the body and drive to the soul. A dull, dull look is much more eloquent than a passport.

What to do in such a situation? First of all, there is no need to attribute changes in appearance to age. So that you are not overcome by thoughts of passing youth, changes in your face and figure must be explained by the environment, the complex rhythm of life, stress and hard work. In addition, it is important to strive to maintain psychological youth in yourself in order to feel passionate, active and interested.

Believe me, an internal positive attitude always has a positive effect on your external appearance. You also need to search and master alternative methods keeping your appearance in good shape. Remember that you can look good at any age.

Hormonal changes

Everyone knows that closer to 40 years of age, metabolic processes in the female body slow down, muscle mass decreases, and the amount of fat increases, even if you have never been inclined to gain weight. This is feminine nature. Women begin to gain weight and can “grow” a couple of sizes in just a couple of years.

Meanwhile, as WHO data show, a sedentary lifestyle and excess weight are considered to be the cause of a third of all cases of malignant diseases of the intestines, pancreas, breast, uterus and ovaries.

A woman about forty years old needs to understand that neither active economic activity for the benefit of the family, nor passive relaxation on the couch will do for her what morning jogging, cycling, exercise equipment and swimming can do.

That is why the number one task in this situation is to normalize the fat balance. If in youth fat is usually deposited in the thighs, then with age it begins to accumulate in the abdominal area.

From an aesthetic point of view, this may, of course, not bother you, but from a health point of view it should alert you, because fat is located not only under the skin, but also envelops all organs abdominal cavity.

Internal obesity can contribute to high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes and other problems.

It is also worth reviewing your daily diet and introducing proper habits. healthy eating. It is also important to master psychological techniques for relieving stress, because with any stress the body produces cortisone, an “alarming” hormone, after which fat cells actively multiply.

Marital status

If a woman is already over 30 and not yet married, she begins to rush, rush around and may act rashly. If she does not yet have a child at this age, the issue of childbearing becomes the leading one, because a woman’s reproductive age is much shorter than that of men.

Against the backdrop of this concern, depression and apathy may arise, and comparing yourself to a 20-year-old girl can even plunge you into depression. It seems that there is nothing to fill your life with: the old is no longer satisfactory, and the new has not yet appeared.

If we talk about married women, then a midlife crisis usually awaits them when their child is already ready to separate. When the child leaves, the parents begin to quarrel, as topics of family conflicts that were previously postponed, hushed up and not resolved now begin to emerge.

Sometimes it may seem like there is a complete stranger nearby. Here lies a huge danger for marriage, because if the accumulated problems have to be solved, which is unpleasant and painful, unsuccessful showdowns may well lead to divorce.

To avoid dangerous clarifications, a woman can turn her attention to the other partner. Men much more often go to young girls to prolong their youth, and women either do the same, or choose a more wealthy partner to feel stable.

What to do in such a situation? A crisis is always accompanied by a restructuring of relationships and a restructuring of personality - there is no hiding or running away from this. You need to honestly answer yourself in what ways your relationship with your husband satisfies you and in what ways you don’t, and tell him all this.

It is important to talk to your spouse and let him know that this is very important to you, for both of you. And then you need to take a closer look at whether your spouse is changing in something significant for you or is just pretending to change. For quality relationships, it is important that partners agree with each other in deeds, and not just in words.

In a psychologist’s office, it often turns out that relationships have become boring, painful, and sometimes you even feel longing for unfulfilled expectations. Such feelings not only destroy married life, but also age a woman, because her face becomes joyless and dull, the oval of the face is deformed, and even nasolabial folds appear.

To refresh your face, you need to refresh own perception life.

If the crisis finds you alone, you need to try to understand what kind of relationship is right for you, whether you need a partner at all, and if so, which one and what you can do to meet him.

Social status

It is believed that the midlife crisis in men is a crisis of lack of goals and self-worth. But this topic can also cause a crisis for a working woman who is approaching 40 years of age.

A woman is trying to find answers to questions about what she has achieved in life and what will happen next. The situation may be aggravated by the fact that after 45 it is very difficult to find a good, well-paid job, therefore, although educated and experienced, women have lower incomes than young people and men.

This causes a feeling of uselessness and lack of demand, which can lead to a lingering negative attitude towards life.

What should I do? First of all, you should pay attention to your own achievements. If you are not seeing much success, you need to focus on the fact that you are good specialist in your field and doing what you love.

It is recommended to take off most of your household chores for a while (you can ask your loved ones to help you) and sign up for courses for the soul that you never had time for before. You should avoid overwork at work and regularly take proper rest.

A midlife crisis can cause a feeling that time is not endless, and in connection with this there is an acute need to realize why you live, whether you are going there, what you want to achieve, what to make the main thing in your life, etc. The direction of your future life depends on your answer to these questions.

During this period, someone gets divorced, someone changes their profession, someone gets married, someone takes a lover, someone gives birth to a child, someone learns to draw, sculpt, drive a car, etc. The difficulty of the moment, but at the same time the joy, lies in the understanding that now your future and how you will live further depend only on you.

If you yourself don’t know where you want to go and what to do, finding a way out will, of course, not be easy. A psychologist can help in such a situation. He, of course, will not write a list of new life goals for you, but he will help you analyze your condition and potential, and together you will not only find a way out of the crisis, but also an entrance into new stage of your life.

A midlife crisis is always accompanied by a restructuring of relationships and a restructuring of personality. If this ends up leading to more happy life, it means that the crisis turned out to be useful for you, and as a result you turned from a chrysalis into a beautiful butterfly. We wish that for everyone the crisis ends with such a happy ending, as they say.

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A midlife crisis often causes panic in women. They are afraid of this psychological boundary. At some point, the realization comes that youth is leaving. The natural course of events cannot be stopped and time is inexorable. Every new day births after 30 years are perceived less and less joyfully. Many people are anxiously awaiting their fortieth birthday. They carefully study their face, looking for the first wrinkles. But how justified are women’s fears? Does everyone experience a midlife crisis and how can this be prevented? There are several factors that cause a global rethinking of values in midlife.

The first signs of aging

One of the main causes of panic in middle age is the intense appearance various signs aging of the body. There are no longer one or two gray hairs on the head, but dozens and even hundreds. They are noticeable. Moreover, the first gray hair usually appears around the face. The skin ceases to be elastic and smooth. The muscles are no longer as strong. Somewhere the youthful agility and endurance have disappeared. Men stop reacting to women the way they did in their youth. Even a carefully groomed lady is no longer a young girl. Attractive women who were in the center in their youth experience the transition to middle age especially hard. male attention.

No matter how young a woman looks or attends numerous anti-aging procedures, it is very difficult to hide her age. His eyes give him away, in which there is no longer any girlish naivety and enthusiasm. All this makes the woman very sad.

Children and motherhood

There are 2 possible reasons for concern. By the age of 40, a woman may feel despair if she still has not found the time and opportunity to have children. And although many people now give birth after 40 years, psychologically this age turns out to be the most traumatic.

The second reason for the disorder is grown children. By the age of 40, many women have already grown up their children. If until this time the mother was constantly busy with children's problems, the sudden emptiness will shock her, especially if the woman had several children the same age. The habit of constantly being under time pressure due to the abundance of troubles and problems associated with children has been developed over the years. And suddenly the children graduated, got jobs and left. The mother feels unwanted.

Career, self-realization and problems of a housewife

At the beginning of her career, a woman makes plans for her career. Some ladies are very ambitious and set themselves difficult to achieve goals. Sometimes such women sacrifice their personal lives, health, and recreation in order to obtain a coveted position. There are cases when mothers refuse to raise their children so that no worries distract them from the implementation of an ambitious plan. Success does not always depend on hard work. Sometimes the efforts expended do not give the desired result, and the sacrifices are not justified.

For some reason, a woman fails to achieve what she wants, and sometimes even gets closer to her goal. At some point, she begins to realize that the dream is not destined to come true, and the sacrifices were in vain. She was left alone without a position and without a family.

A successful and educated girl can refuse self-realization, deciding to devote herself to her family and children. This may be due to the birth of several children or the child's illness. If the family has wealth, the young wife can happily take care of the housework. At first everything looks perfect: the house is tidy, the husband and children are happy. But over time, a rift may appear between the working husband and the housewife. The husband is constantly developing, he is successful and interesting, but the wife feels inadequate and dependent on him. Some husbands may make the problem worse by emphasizing their wife's dependence.

Physiology at 40 years old

After 40 years, hormonal changes begin to occur in a woman’s body. The childbearing period is gradually coming to an end and a woman’s body begins to change. Hormonal surges are accompanied by various unpleasant sensations: a woman feels either hot or cold; her mood constantly changes, she can become very excitable or, conversely, depressed. Hormonal changes can cause depression, especially if there are other objective reasons for this. This condition seriously aggravates the manifestation of a midlife crisis.

Signs of a midlife crisis

What are the signs of a midlife crisis in women? First of all, interest in everyday work suddenly disappears. A housewife may refuse to perform normal household chores. A working woman suddenly quits and completely changes her field of activity.

Some wives may unexpectedly rush into a new relationship, despite a happy long-term marriage. A balanced person suddenly becomes a cheerful mischief-maker. An optimist can become suspicious and anxious. Business style changes to youth. A respectable lady can wear a leather skirt, get piercings and get a tattoo.

A woman can engage in self-criticism and self-humiliation, and begin to find fault with herself. Some, on the contrary, become demanding of others. They annoy family members and colleagues with caustic remarks, moralizing and reproaches. Individual symptoms can appear in a person not only during a midlife crisis. This may be due to personality traits, life difficulties, illness and other factors. But if a person exhibits several symptoms at once, then most likely he is truly going through a period of crisis.

We must understand that this period is associated with a revaluation of values. The old system is outdated and it’s time to create a new one. Perhaps the priorities in youth were chosen incorrectly, the emphasis was placed incorrectly, so dreams remained dreams.

Middle age This is the time to adjust your life. This is a period for working on mistakes. This is exactly how you need to treat your new state. The problems that have appeared now were created earlier. If you draw the right conclusions, you can avoid mistakes in the future. It is advisable to spend some time alone with yourself. You can take a vacation, go to a sanatorium, or you can just lie on the couch at home. Solitude will help you understand yourself and understand what is really missing.

Psychological attitude and self-realization

Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to come to terms with a dream that has been lost forever. She may experience a feeling of shame or guilt for some actions in the past, suffer and suffer from hopelessness. This state of affairs is not constructive. You need to try to come to terms with your circumstances and accept your life as it is. Experts advise surrendering to the will of your feelings and crying heartily. You need to let your emotions come out, this will significantly ease the condition. You can’t judge yourself too harshly: people are not perfect and everyone has done things in life that they are ashamed of.

If you can fix something, you should try to do it. You can apologize to a person who was once wronged in vain. And even though many years have already passed, that person will probably be pleasantly surprised, and a stone will fall from your heart. In my past life there were many positive and worthy things. You need to remember the good and tune in to new achievements. It is important to correctly set new priorities, focus on positive aspects and listen to inner voice.

Often women suffer from the fact that they have not realized their desires and have not developed their talents. Children's dreams do not disappear with age; things put off for later remind you of themselves throughout your life. Middle age is a period when you can still catch up and achieve a lot. You can get an education and master new profession. At the same time, this is the age when a person more clearly defines his needs and more easily seeks a way to satisfy them, therefore forty-year-old people who have started some new business achieve success faster than some young people. They don’t waste time and concentrate better. It is useful to remember the words of the heroine from the famous film: “At 40, life is just beginning.” And this is true. At this age there is still enough health and strength to implement any plans, but you already have precious experience. You need to boldly change your field of activity if the need for this has long been ripe and not be afraid of difficulties.

Healthy Habits

To prolong youth and maintain health, you need to seriously reconsider your lifestyle. Right now you need to give up bad habits: quit smoking, stop abusing alcohol and coffee. The daily diet should be balanced and rich in vitamins. Need to visit more fresh air and exercise in moderation. There is no need for extremes either: active training at this age is more likely to harm than improve your health, so signing up for a shaping club and competing with 18-year-old girls is not recommended. Career women should give up the intense business pace. It is necessary to fully rest on weekends and not give up vacations. It is advisable to turn off your phone while relaxing and not look through business emails. Taking good care of your health will pay off handsomely and will allow you to feel great not only after 40, but also after 60.

Relationships with loved ones

There is no need to isolate yourself. Lonely people have a much harder time coping with psychological and physical changes. It is necessary to spend more time with family, loved ones and relatives, and meet with friends more often. Communication with peers will help you see yourself from the outside. Someone else's problem always seems not as difficult as your own. Against the backdrop of a friend's midlife crisis, her fears will seem less justified.

It is necessary to mend damaged relationships with relatives. The state of war complicates the life of every combatant. We need to calmly discuss the accumulated problems together and look for a compromise. Established relationships will improve your mood and vitality. With the support of their relatives, women recover from crises faster.

Contact a specialist

Some people find it very difficult to understand themselves. Numerous advice from friends and relatives only confuses. In this case, it is recommended to visit a specialist. A psychologist will help you discover the causes of problems and tell you how to overcome them. If going to a specialist is unrealistic for some reason, you can read special literature. As a rule, such sources present quite accessible ways to overcome a midlife crisis. For those who find reading boring, it wouldn’t hurt to attend seminars where you can meet people who have the same problems. It is always pleasant to be in the company of like-minded people and it is easier to overcome difficulties.

Is it possible to prevent a midlife crisis in women?

The midlife crisis is not noticed by busy people. If a woman is not trying to achieve a certain position in society, but simply enjoys doing what she loves, she will not experience serious disappointment. After all, for her, work is already a goal and pleasure.

No time to think about internal problems mothers of many children. At the age of 40, they usually still have small children who require care. Growing older children load her with grandchildren. Children fill her life with meaning, and mothers with many children do not experience such torment.

Constant rethinking of values helps to avoid middle age problems. If a woman does not hide the problem, but tries to resolve it in a timely manner, by middle age she does not have such a tangle of accumulated questions. Problems with my husband do not arise suddenly, they accumulate over the years. The fact that your career is not going well becomes clear much earlier than 40 years of age. A doctor will help you overcome problems with hormonal changes.

For some reason, it is generally accepted that representatives of the fair sex experience the most severe psychological crises in adolescence and during menopause. IN lately The topic of PMS is often exploited. But in reality, everything is a little more complicated. Even the same premenstrual syndrome should be considered not so much a fault as a misfortune for a woman. And besides these hormonal imbalances, the fair half has many more reasons to experience bad things. psychological states. A critical look at one’s own life is inherent not only to middle-aged men, and not only representatives of the stronger sex are trying to somehow realize themselves. Women do this too: some more successfully, some less successfully. And for some, their whole life seems to be going downhill. And the time comes to realize this...

What is a midlife crisis in women?

Usually this concept includes depression, a feeling of despair and other negative emotional states associated with a reassessment of life values and a critical look at the past years. A woman may feel a loss of meaning in life.

At what age can it appear?

Many crises of this kind are often associated with changes in the psyche, which is why adolescence is often mentioned. In fact, a person goes through several such crises from birth. The first of them is just three years of age, when the child begins to feel like an individual. Experts gave the second one six or seven years, by the way, at the same time the girls go to school. 14–15 years is another crisis point when the child begins to become an adult. In girls, this development of personality is usually more acute than in boys. But when it comes to the midlife crisis, no one can give clear age estimates, because everything is individual. Graduated from university and went to work - a crisis could happen. I got married and gave birth to my first child - and here you can encounter a depressive state. But even these periods cannot be attributed specifically to middle age, because it comes later. For example, completion of studies in higher educational institutions is usually 22–25 years. They are now trying to delay the birth of children until they are 30 years old, but still, it is far from the conventional “equator” of life here. A person is psychologically programmed to live 90–100 years, no matter what fate is in store for him. Therefore, it is most correct to call a woman’s midlife crisis the period after 40 years. If we start from statistics, according to which the average life expectancy of women is about 75 years, then we can add to this the crises that occur at the age of 30–35 years. At the same time, we cannot ignore that category of girls and women who had to deal with postpartum depression, unemployment after receiving education, the creation of a not very successful family union and other reasons that can upset the psyche for a long time, lead to complete apathy or despair.

How long can it last

It is difficult to compare a crisis state with a cold: I was sick for two weeks at most, and again I was like a cucumber! Psychological crises are a long process, from which you can get out of it in a few years. That is why there is always the fear of staying in this state forever. On average, a woman may experience disappointment in own life within 2.5 years. And often there are few understanding people who can get you out of this situation. They will rather judge you, say that you are an adult, but you are behaving like an offended child. And during this considerable period of time, you can not only lose friends, but also lose a loved one. You may simply stop understanding each other. And if your partner does not understand at this time that you need moral support more than ever, then he has a good chance of being kicked out of your life forever. And this is not always a divorce; often a husband and wife continue to coexist in the same living space, but their relationship becomes colorless, and they themselves become strangers to each other. And this is one of the characteristic signs of a midlife crisis.

The main signs of a midlife crisis in women

How do you know if an age crisis has sneaked up on you? There are several characteristic signs of this condition:

it began to seem to you that the reality in life does not correspond too much to your expectations; your mood becomes clearly changeable; tension arises in relationships with people around you; you want to suddenly leave for the village (another city, country) and quit your job; it seems that everything that being done around has simply lost its meaning. In other words, the woman seems to be losing her footing; she would be glad to change her life, but she can no longer say exactly what she wants, and she desperately no longer believes in anything good. Only one feeling remains with her: life has reached a dead end. But if you can get out of an ordinary dead end - a spatial one - by going back, then rewinding time back and returning to your previous years will no longer be possible. It seems unrealistic to get out, because you understand that starting all over again is already too late. But what to do then? Soberly assess the situation and correlate it with your capabilities and age. Often a woman has to “pull herself out of the swamp by her own hair,” because it is impossible to hope for outside help: it is difficult to find a person who would bother with you day after day until your condition improves.

The most common symptoms of age crisis in women

So, let's start fighting. First, let's get to know the enemy by sight. Who is he? This is not a husband who seems like a klutz and a blockhead or, conversely, a tyrant and despot. These are not stupid subordinates, and not a tyrant boss. This is not a university teacher - a pompous turkey with an academic degree, who has one thing on his mind - to look under the skirts of students. The enemy is wrong emotional state, because of which you begin to take everything with hostility. And myself – first of all. How does this happen at different ages?

Manifestations of the crisis at 20–25 years of age

Agree, if you are happy with everything, then you will not be annoyed by some womanizer teacher or scandalous boss, who, after stamping his feet and giving free rein to his voice, will still increase your salary. Both from study and from work you come home, and this is the place you have staked on in your life. Yes, you will finish studying sooner or later, and it’s easy to change jobs when you’re young. Family is a more serious level, and if you recently got married, then this is where dangers may lie in wait for you:

dissatisfaction with your choice: the husband did not live up to expectations; conflicts with the older generation, rejection of your son-in-law by your mother-in-law, and you by your mother-in-law; inability to get pregnant if you want to have a child; pregnancy unwanted by the husband and, as a result, the demand for an abortion; difficult birth and subsequent depression. All this leads to a psychological crisis, which is expressed in apathy and a tendency to self-examination. In religion, this state is called despondency and is considered a sin. You can ask a priest for ways out, but not every church minister will have something to advise. Psychiatrists call it depression and treat it with pills. But “loading” yourself with drugs and becoming addicted to them is also not an option. At this age, you need to overcome yourself and start acting on your own.

Symptoms of the crisis at 30–35 years old

At this age, those women who have not managed to complete the tasks they have set for themselves are often subject to crisis. For example, they were so carried away by their career that they did not have time to give birth to a baby. But it's not too late! However, this can cause you to lose positions at work. It is this duality that leads to emotional breakdowns. Another option is that you managed to get married and have children. And if the child is not alone, then somehow the career didn’t work out. Not only more successful girlfriends can add fuel to the fire, but also your own spouse, who will say that he has nothing to talk to you about. He is a top manager at in good standing, and diaper pots, bibs and nappies do not interest him. And these treacherous speeches from the very dear man, which should be your support!

Midlife crisis at 40–45 years old

This period can be classified as middle age. And the crisis in these years is aggravated by the woman’s poor health, because menopause comes. Hormonal changes, alas, cannot but affect the emotional sphere of a person. In addition, many people show signs of old age. Someone can't stop dialing excess weight, someone at the mirror spends a long time looking at the wrinkles on the face or gray hair. And some already believe that no amount of cosmetics will help, and plastic surgery is beyond their means. So the crisis of this age can be characterized as a fear of loss of youth, fertility and as an awareness of the impossibility of changing something in one’s life. This may be mixed with the fear of loneliness, because many women grow up with children and go into independent life. At this point, the husband may simply leave the family or start an affair on the side. It’s also very easy to lose your job today, and your colleagues will remember you less and less.

Is it possible to overcome a midlife crisis without outside help?

Of course, it would be nice to enlist the help of an experienced psychoanalyst, but not every woman can afford it. But there is always the opportunity to surround yourself with literature of relevant content and conduct a whole study of advice on the Internet. And it doesn’t matter how your crisis unfolds - violently or quietly, the main thing is to find a foothold and begin to act. It is action that can bring you out of your stupor, and the smallest victories will inspire you to act further.

Psychology: how to quickly and easily survive a midlife crisis

It's time to act. To begin with, stop comparing yourself to others. You are an individual, and also bright. You can't have everything like other people. Let it not be! You tried to be like everyone else, which means you constantly drove yourself into a corner, shoved your “I” into a dungeon, the main things for you were children, husband or team. Now is the time to understand who you are in this world. A grain of sand or a grain ready to become a beautiful flower? Have wrinkles appeared around your eyes? Put on your sunglasses. If you wear glasses all the time, get tinted lenses. Dye your hair if it's gray. Get a cute haircut or French braids. Try, experiment until you like yourself, and don’t pay attention to what others say about your appearance. And if you don’t like yourself, then you won’t be able to crawl out of the crisis. Now you respect yourself and can love yourself. Choose beautiful clothes for yourself, sew colored buttons on your coat - color your gray world and drag yourself “by the hair” further. Get into the habit of eating vegetables and fruits: they charge you with energy. But you need to quit smoking or eating stress chips. If you don’t have money for fitness, then just do light exercises in the morning. Remember: difficult exercises are not for a crisis. You need to start with something that is guaranteed to work out so that you can praise yourself. Meet your friends, communicate with colleagues, even those who are younger than you. Sincere communication with such people will make you young too. As soon as you feel that the energy has gone, try to do the same thing as during a crisis: delve into yourself - and you will see a real way out of the situation. What if you really need to change jobs, ask for a promotion from your boss, or just go on vacation and have a good time there? You can also just find yourself a friend who will be instead of a lover. You don’t have to let such a person get too close to you, but if he is a true gentleman, then next to him you will quickly feel that you are a lady. Self-esteem will rise on its own. However, there is a danger in such platonic relationships: they may be in danger of breaking, because men often want carnal pleasure from a woman, and without achieving it, they become disappointed and begin to look for another object of sympathy. Here you need to look at the circumstances.

The most critical age for women - statistics

Still, most psychologists believe that the most severe crisis in a woman coincides with the menopause. For different representatives of the fair sex, this process proceeds differently, and some experience early menopause, while others experience late menopause. This condition causes many health problems. Not only does the hormonal balance collapse, but all the sores that previously did not manifest themselves so actively “creep out” into the light. Like an old lady, your joints begin to ache, your blood pressure jumps, your skin becomes rough, headaches and migraines appear... In general, you would like to lie down on the sofa and have a fan fan you. And you have to work, do housework, raise children. If there is no health, then no activity will bring satisfaction. When, along with all this, a revision of life values also occurs, the crisis turns out to be severe. It is at this age that one often has to think about old age, and sometimes notice signs of aging, moreover, more significant than some wrinkle on the forehead or gray hair in the hair There comes an understanding that many processes cannot be reversed. Alas, old age is one of the longest periods of life, and you need to be able to accept it morally for it to really be long. Psychologists have noticed that there are women who have not faced a midlife crisis at all, despite the fact that their lives were far from ideal. It was just so eventful that there was simply no time left for soul-searching. To the point where someone’s age of crisis coincided with wartime. The desire to survive and save children, worry about relatives who went to the front, evacuation or occupation - all this is a powerful stress, but at the same time - significant emotional work. And then - the joy of victory, the restoration of the country from ruins and the associated enthusiasm. Living conditions are, to put it mildly, not the best, but there is faith and even every reason to believe that everything will soon change for the better. In peacetime, you can also change something for the better:

change jobs; go travel; sign up for some classes, and better those that give positive emotions; adopt a stray cat or dog; become a volunteer; secretly read adventure literature, where there are heroes who overcome many obstacles and emerge victorious; watch movies of the same content. And no matter how wonderful works with a sad ending may be, during a period of psychological crisis they are prohibited from reading and viewing. If you are starting a new business, then it should not be too difficult for you, otherwise failures will lead to even greater depression. It’s better to describe everything to yourself step by step, and rejoice at each new achievement. And then that swamp from which you are pulling yourself by the hair will soon become for you a clear surface of water along which you glide on water skis.

In the life of every person, regardless of gender, social status and the degree of financial well-being, a kind of turning point inevitably comes. The line that separates recent youth from future adulthood is called a midlife crisis. Men and women experience it equally acutely and painfully. This is a period of reassessment of values, rethinking the experience gained. What did you manage to achieve from your set goals and were these goals really important, and what should you do next? Such thoughts occur in women 30-40 years old. What does the concept of midlife crisis mean? What are its symptoms and manifestations? And are there optimal ways to get out of it to your benefit?

Features of a midlife crisis in women

Life without a midlife crisis is an unrealistic phenomenon. Although the concept of “midlife crisis” has been studied more in relation to the male sex, it does not escape anyone, regardless of gender differences. His characteristic features, symptoms and features are predominantly similar for both sexes.

When does the crisis start? Scientists identify two age periods that fall under the midlife crisis: 30-35 years and 40-45 years. The midlife crisis that began during the first period of time is more common in women, although it sometimes happens in men as well. The second, forty-year crisis, is more common among men, although it also happens among women. This is due to the following factors:

The difference in the biological clocks of the female and male body.
A woman's reproductive age ends earlier than a man's. According to social and physiological norms, it is recommended to give birth to your first child by age 30.
30 years is the period when male attractiveness blossoms. A woman, on the contrary, feels how her youth and physical brightness are fading.

Like all other age-related crises, it occurs naturally at a certain period, accompanied by the appearance of new formations in the structure of the personality and in the system of its relations with the world.

The midlife crisis in women ends adolescence, being a “bridge”, an intermediate period between youth and maturity. It seems like a lot needs to be done, accomplished, accomplished. But at one point it’s time to look back and give a fair, objective assessment of the road behind.

According to American analyst Murray Stein, a midlife crisis is a period of deep mental transformation. To a large extent, this phenomenon is inherent in women, because the weaker sex is more susceptible to self-examination and introspection than men.

What thoughts are typical for a woman who has stepped beyond the crisis line? How many goals and objectives were set, how priorities were set and to what extent everything was accomplished. But if all the planned peaks were taken, the dreams came true, were they really so important and cornerstone? Wasn't your youth wasted building castles in the air?

The midlife crisis in women follows the following path:

The first stage is the irrevocable loss of the illusions of youth and the hopes associated with it. It requires you to forget and let go of expectations, dreams, myths, and ideals of the past. According to psychologists, they need to be said goodbye, mourned and safely forgotten.
The second stage is when a woman feels uncertainty and confusion. In identity psychology, this stage is called liminality. It is associated with the contradiction between the past self and the present one, between the perception of yesterday’s self and the one that it became under the influence of the crisis. An array of experiences and unconscious feelings fall like a snowball on a person and he ceases to understand himself. Does not understand past goals and does not see future prospects.
The third stage is the moment of building a new world. A person, having said goodbye to the past, accepts his future, opens up to it and all the prospects facing him. At the end of the third stage, a holistic, mature person is born, possessing wisdom, life experience, and prudence, which may not be enough in youth.

Causes of midlife crisis

Transformations of appearance. The first symptoms appear that promise the onset of old age. After 30-40 years, all natural processes in the human body begin to proceed somewhat differently than in youth. The skin becomes less elastic and fresh, and the first wrinkles appear. The accumulation of excess weight, the growth of adipose tissue, and a decrease in muscle mass bodies.

This has a particularly painful effect on those women for whom appearance has always been important. Therefore, the loss of former attractiveness, the realization of a decrease in the importance of one’s external beauty can be a real blow, followed by entering into a crisis.

Decrease in physical strength. A few years earlier, one might not even think about health, but over time, the body wears out and its resources are depleted. Some work requires effort that a young body does not require. Every stress, even the smallest one, leaves its mark, although previously the body, thanks to its natural energy, did not even notice the overload.
Hormonal changes in the body. Menopause is an important period in a woman's life. For some, it is synonymous with old age. Therefore, hormonal changes that occur in the female body often lead to depression, melancholy, despondency, and longing for irrevocably passing youth.
Successful and childless. Children are the continuation of the family, the embodiment of the gene pool and new life. If a woman is successful professionally at the expense of motherhood, then the midlife crisis will become for her a prism through which the missed chance to become a mother will overshadow all possible ups in the professional field. Having given up the idea of having a child, during a midlife crisis, a woman realizes that she deliberately stopped her family.
And vice versa, sacrificing her own creative potential for the sake of creating a family, maintaining a household, and raising children, a woman limits her personal growth. One’s own potential is suppressed in favor of household chores and worries about building a home. This means that during a crisis she will fully feel her own unfulfillment. Moreover, the crisis will hit with equal force both women who gave up their careers to start a family, and those who persistently climbed the professional ladder and are in no hurry to have children.
Completed life plan. Looking back, a person sees a successfully built career, a well-lived life, a strong family, and true friends. What to do next? It would seem that you need to enjoy the results of painstaking work. But the paradox is that instead of pleasure comes a feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction. What should we strive for if all the heights have already been achieved and all plans have been exceeded? There is nowhere to move forward anymore, so back?

Manifestations of midlife crisis in women

Disappointment in life and unfulfilled dreams

A midlife crisis for women provides an opportunity to look back and evaluate the experience. If much of what was at hand is missed, and opportunities are lost, then a state of mental emptiness and depression sets in. The sunset begins, but there is nothing to be proud of. If the plans and goals set in youth are not achieved, and dreams are not realized, then life has been in vain.

Depreciation when all achievements are subject to categorical criticism

What you have been pursuing for a long time, what you were proud of, is no longer perceived as something vital, but begins to seem like a colossus with feet of clay. Yesterday’s priorities and life values seem so unsteady.

Uncertainty about the future

This is a period of loss of former guidelines, depreciation of important goals for which I previously lived. Career, family, friends - everything stops seeming important. If any stressful events are added to this (children leaving, being separated from their parents, dismissal from work, betrayal by the other half), confidence in the future is lost, and fear of tomorrow appears.

Fear of impending old age and death in the future

Even though this time is still very far away, but after 35 years a woman begins to feel its slow, irreversible approach. This is experienced especially vividly and painfully by women who did not have time to have children. Career success, professional achievements are forgotten after some time, the memory of a person lives with his offspring.

Search for new sensations

The desire to regain youth can sometimes lead to rash and illogical actions that should not be done. The main signs are a sharp change in lifestyle, lifestyle, style of behavior, relationship with loved ones and others.

External symptoms of a midlife crisis:

Irritability, anger, causeless aggression;
Depression, apathy, weakness, lack of initiative;
Negativism, a woman does everything in spite of and out of spite;
Sharp mood swings: from euphoria, fun, vigor to loss of strength, despondency;
Dissatisfaction, search for shortcomings in the environment, often groundless;
The emergence of qualitatively new tastes and preferences, sometimes strange and unnatural for the image of a given person;
Possible problems with alcohol. A midlife crisis in women can provoke an “escape” from an unwanted reality through addictions: alcoholic, chemical, behavioral.

What to do and how to successfully overcome the crisis

Learn a new activity, learn something you’ve never tried before. Choose a new hobby, an activity for the soul. The successful results of your own work inspire you, give you faith in yourself, and increase your self-esteem.
New impressions. The search for something new, unknown is what women who have entered a midlife crisis often need. To escape the boredom and monotony of everyday life, new, vivid impressions are needed. The only caveat is that they should not be socially dangerous or obviously harmful to health.
Healthy body and healthy mind. Maintain your health, take care of it - and the results will be obvious, and in literally, including. A healthy body resists the development of chronic diseases for a longer time. In addition, vigor of the body is inextricably linked with vigor of spirit. Sports, proper nutrition, lack of bad habits help.
Make yourself happy and give yourself pleasure every day. Small joys are pleasant, do not require a lot of time and money, but pay off handsomely.
Look at your life from the outside. What is missing from it? It's never too late to start doing something new. An inveterate careerist can get married, give birth to a baby, and a housewife can find an interesting hobby. Once mastery is achieved, you can make it a very profitable business by developing and realizing your ambitions and potential.

Midlife crisis is a period that everyone goes through, regardless of gender or social role. But for women this period is no less stormy and painful than for men. Its features and response to crisis phenomena are different for everyone. Therefore, there is no “universal recipe” or panacea. Based on their personal characteristics and experiences, you need to master your own unique way.

When the crisis is over, a person gains invaluable experience, becomes wiser, and life takes on qualitatively new features. No wonder the heroine of the famous film said that after forty, life just begins.