Personal opinion is a sign of a strong personality. How to form your opinion. Own opinion & Opinion of others

A shy first-grader who doesn’t know how to defend his opinion is normal, but an adult needs this skill. In the end, your life and other people do not have the right to build it in a way that is convenient for them and not for you. If this is your case, then be prepared for the fact that you will live someone else's life and are unlikely to achieve what you are capable of. That's why we study.

You are entitled to your opinion

Before you defend your point of view, remember that no one has yet canceled the right to a personal opinion, moreover, you must have it, otherwise you are not a person. It doesn't matter if they support you. It’s just that your point of view is original and not similar to the point of view of others, which means it will be rejected. Therefore, any person carrying unusual idea may be pecked to death or must fight for his idea. What if she's a genius? The one who proposed using fire, the one who invented the wheel, and the one who came up with new medicines defended their opinion. So why should you give up? This is already a crime. In any case, you know yourself better than your parents, friends or bosses.

Your neighbor can also be wrong

A child raised by authoritarian parents often gives up his opinion even in adulthood, relying on relatives or colleagues, and in the end everyone loses. It is important to understand that any point of view that you come across on your way should be perceived only as someone’s personal opinion, and not as the truth squared or cubed. Other people can also make mistakes like you, no matter how much authority they may have for you. And one more thing. Everyone thinks only to the best of their experience. By ridiculing your opinion, a person can rely on his own negative experience, accuse you of what he himself is guilty of, try on his abilities and capabilities on you, and finally just be jealous. It is also important to work on self-confidence here. How to learn to defend your opinion if you don’t believe in yourself and your ideas?

Why is arguing useful?

Any dispute should be taken as a chance to talk through and discuss your idea, test it out and check how viable it is, and also see if you can make your opinion significant in the eyes of your neighbor and whether you are able to “ignite” a person with your idea. Writer, expert and businessman Gary Hamel believes that we need to convince ourselves that our idea is just a chain of hypotheses that anyone can refute. This means that it is worth fighting for them and drawing out the truth in this dispute.

Learning the art of communication

First of all, be clearly aware of your needs, because it is on their basis that the opinions of others about you are formed. The ideal manner of communication, in which you will more easily win the battle for your own opinion, consists of respect for your neighbor and self-respect. It is also important to be able to control yourself and take initiative. If you lose control of yourself, you will probably lose the argument.

Study psychology and learn how to behave during an argument

Psychology is a very difficult thing, but you can study your opponent - his character, his value system, needs, interests, ideals and claims. You can only defend your own position if you talk to your opponent on his plane and on an equal footing. Try it simple methods“mirror” all your opponent’s movements, copy his pace and style of speech and communication. This way it will be clear to him that he is dealing with an equal and the same as himself.

Apply effective techniques argumentation

The most popular are:

Rearranging the arguments. Here it is important to adhere to the logic of your opponent and move from one of his arguments to another until a contradiction is found. With its help, you can transfer your opponent to the opposite point of view;
Salami. It has little to do with cutting sausage. The important thing here is to turn the answer “no” into “yes” little by little, simply by forcing the person to take one step. Here it is important to understand what kind of “no” your opponent has - fundamental or not so fundamental;
For example, if a girl refuses to go on a date with you, you can invite her for coffee after work or class. If you have arrived, you can continue working. Yes, although flimsy, you already have it. Next we finalize the little things;
Positive responses. The more “yes” your opponent says, the easier it is for him to agree with your opinion;
Classical rhetoric. We agree with our neighbor, and then we refute everything by offering a strong argument. Suitable if you have to defend your opinion in a conversation with an aggressive person.

Exercise

No, not on the cat, but on a friend or someone you trust. Hone your communication skills, for example, when identifying a stumbling block and leading discussions on this topic. Having studied what is good and what is bad, you can begin to defend your opinion in the same ways with colleagues, and then with your superiors, that is, get out of your comfort zone. You can also practice during arguments on social networks.

Know when it's inappropriate

It is important to understand which issues need to be discussed and which ones not so much. Sometimes you don't really need to argue. If you must object, let your objections be tactful. Don't accuse your neighbor of incompetence, don't be harsh.

Try to understand your neighbor

Your opponent may be wrong a thousand times, but he doesn’t think so. Don’t judge him, try to understand and feel yourself in his shoes. Think about how he feels and what his beliefs are based on. It will be easier this way and so will you simpler than a man convince.

Don't be offended if you weren't understood or supported

Indeed, sometimes the main obstacle to success can be our loved ones and friends. Perhaps not out of anger or envy, and not at all out of a desire for them to remain in the same swamp with you. Sometimes this is just an attempt to protect you or to impose their own negative experiences. At the same time, they do not hesitate to express completely unpleasant words. What to do here? Definitely don’t respond with aggression.

If you want to go to theater school, but the specialty of a philosopher is imposed on you (such cases happen), convince your family that you have the abilities and you really need the profession of an actor or director. Speak softly and friendly, remember what victories you have already won in this field.

And most importantly, remember that no one is eternal, alas, and one day you will be left alone and alone with an opinion that you did not defend, an unloved spouse, a profession that is unnecessary to you. But there is only one life. And do not forget that you are the only support for yourself. If you are not understood, there is no need to pretend to be a sufferer and an unrecognized genius. In order to check the viability of your idea, there is only one thing left to do - take it and bring it to life.

Who do we trust more than anything in the world? Even the most insecure person will say to himself. In search of answers to important questions, each of us turns inward. On some issues we may have a clear opinion, on others we may not have a clearly defined position and consider the issue with different points vision, trying to determine the right one for yourself. When we enter into a dialogue with another person, we are talking not only with him, but also with his inner world. As thoroughly unambiguous or not fully formed in relation to some issues, like ours.

We usually feel the need to express our opinion when we disagree with our interlocutor on points of view. But situations are different. We can remain silent when we don’t consider it necessary to say what we think, we can say our opinion, evenly and in a calm tone, but we can start defending our point of view. We decide for ourselves how to act in each specific situation. And we evaluate decision made already after.

We can say something and then begin to reproach ourselves - well, why did I say this, I should have remained silent. Or, on the contrary, remain silent and reproach yourself for not expressing your opinion in a timely manner. This happens when we focus on ourselves, our thoughts and emotions. While entering into a dialogue with another person, it is necessary to accept and build communication from the position of the interlocutor. This is what all smart communicators do, who know that it is impossible to prove their opinion, even by bringing the most compelling arguments, since this always gives rise to internal contradiction in the interlocutor. You can only convey your position - serve it on a platter so that the interlocutor cannot deny himself the pleasure of treating himself.

What is important to understand before you start expressing your opinion?

1. Not every situation requires that an opinion be expressed and not every opinion must be expressed a priori.

Our opinion may seem very important to us, but it is no less important to really look at the feelings and thoughts of other people. If you want to say to a loved one think about your categorical opinion about what may concern him directly. In relationships with loved ones, it is especially important to be correct, because... no one will offend as much as a loved one can, for whom all our feelings can be like open book. Is your opinion worth hurting a loved one? Or, if you think your opinion should be heard anyway, think ahead about how you will express it.

2. Not every person wants to hear an opinion different from their own.

You've probably often noticed that even when communicating with other people, the interlocutor can only conduct a dialogue with himself. Such people are not only not inclined to perceive a point of view different from their own, but in principle they are not interested in it. Their goal is not a full-fledged dialogue, but an exchange of their opinions, news, etc. Sometimes it’s easier to listen and not say, and maybe not listen at all.

3. Does our inner need to express our own opinion come from our Self or does the situation really require it?

Many people tend to express their loud opinions on fairly distant or even trivial topics. While in really important circumstances, they are not ready to express their position and prefer to remain silent. In fact, everything should be the other way around. An opinion is not always worth expressing just for the sake of expressing it. Thus, we satisfy our need for self-affirmation or reinforce our pride. Real courage is to express our opinion where circumstances require it, even if we ourselves are not inclined to speak out.

4. When expressing our opinion, we must always be prepared for the possible continuation of the dialogue, even if it does not follow.

When we express our opinion, we don't just throw it in the other person's face. We express it and must be prepared to express it in response, i.e. continuation of the topic. If you are not ready for this, think about whether it is so important for you to speak out in this particular situation. Because it is important not so much to adequately express your position as to continue the dialogue after that.

Even if the other person's opinion differs from our own, this does not mean that we are obliged to take a defensive position. This applies primarily to issues that are not fundamental and do not contradict our personal deep principles or beliefs. When exchanging opinions with well-known, close people, it is important to remember that human relationships always come before our specific opinion on at the moment Moreover, it is possible that opinions may change. It is important to always remember this, otherwise, one rudely expressed opinion can cost a close, trusting relationship.

Sometimes we engage in dialogue with people we dislike, whose position may fundamentally contradict ours. In such situations, it is difficult to control your emotions due to differences of opinion and personal hostility. In such cases, it is very important to abstract yourself from the interlocutor himself and try to express your opinion on a specific subject or situation as impersonally as possible. We have already said that power over your own gives a great advantage in communications with other people.

It is important to remember that no one can hurt our feelings with their opinion. Moreover, this cannot be done by a person who is not close to us or is generally unpleasant to us in communication. Anyone who is led by his emotions will certainly lose in any battle.

The ability to express one's opinion in a correct and clear manner is an undeniable gift. But you can only learn this through practice. Therefore, do not be discouraged if something, as you think, did not go perfectly. We should never be ashamed of what teaches us something new and important. Be open to dialogue, this is the most a clear sign true strength and self-confidence.

If you often rely on other people's opinions, know that everyone has their own tastes, values, character, and what is good for others is not always good for you. Therefore it is worth have your own opinion and lean on it. Take the following recommendations into account, they will help you defend your opinion!

So, how to learn to defend your opinion:

1. Gain self-confidence

I think you know what to say and defend personal opinion often it’s not easy at all. In order to defend your opinion, you need self-confidence and strong character.

So that fear does not force you to hide behind the backs of more confident colleagues, you you need to know and understand your strengths and weaknesses well and be able to use them.
It happens that you do not fully understand a topic where you need to express your point of view. Fill the knowledge gap you will be helped by those who are well versed in this area, and you will be able to argue your personal opinion.
If you have a short temper never express your opinion rashly– you can harm yourself. Chill and think, perhaps you will have a different point of view on the problem.
If someone imposes their opinion on you, Think carefully about whether you should agree. It is possible that you do not accept someone else's advice only because you want to go against it, in which case you will only harm yourself.

2. Trust your feelings

We have all made mistakes about other people and it is very unpleasant. If you rely entirely on someone else's opinion when getting to know a person, this is a mistake. Thus, you can refuse a relationship with a person who in the future could become your true friend or loved one.

To learn to understand people, you you need to see the whole person with all the advantages and disadvantages. You can accept him as he is and avoid unnecessary disappointments.
If a friend speaks unflatteringly about your loved one, ask why she thinks so. It is possible that those shortcomings of your loved one that your girlfriend does not accept are insignificant for you. If your friend turns out to be right, and over time you become disappointed in the person you once loved, don’t be upset. After all everyone makes mistakes sometimes. In any case, trust your own intuition!

3. Stand up for your point of view

Surely there are people among your friends who literally force you to accept their point of view. Don't agree!

Ask your interlocutor why he believes that his opinion is the only correct one. Then talk about your motives and goals, but don’t forget to show interest in the other person’s opinion. When discussing a problem, speak to the point, justify your words.
Often a person begins to behave aggressively when his opinion is actively imposed on him, he screams and makes trouble. This will only lead to one thing unpleasant consequence- breakup of relationships. Therefore, you should not behave this way. Refuse calmly and with dignity, without offending anyone.
Be sure to thank them for advice when you refuse. It is very important for people when their opinions are listened to, even if they do not act as they advised. But still, sometimes it is worth listening to other people’s opinions; it is possible that it is not those around you who are mistaken, but you.

Everyone has an opinion on almost every topic, from the most mundane and unimportant topics like the best pizza toppings to truly important policy issues and social trends. It is important to competently form your own opinion, regardless of the topic. Evaluate your experience and the experience of others, as well as the views of experts and specialists. Research the issue as thoroughly as possible to form a solid and comprehensive opinion. You should always remember to be unbiased, as new information may change your views.

Steps

Consider experience

Evaluate your own biases. When considering a specific topic, whether there is a positive or negative own experience certainly affects your current beliefs. In any case, it should be understood that experience does not always accurately reflect the true state of affairs for a particular issue.

Get out of your comfort zone to gain new experiences. This is especially useful if you have no experience in a particular matter. For example, if you have a preconceived idea that members of a certain culture or the inhabitants of a certain city behave in a certain way, then visit these places to observe them with your own eyes. You may well be very surprised.

You can start small and try a dish that seems “unappetizing” to you. Try eating it in different ways. You may find the shrimp unappealing or just have an unpleasant texture, but in a particular recipe the shrimp may taste great.

Research the issue

Read literature on a specific topic. This is perhaps the most thorough way to explore the issue. Read articles and research online, as well as books from the library. The more you manage to read, the better you will understand the topic.
Consider sources when analyzing information. A reliable source is based on facts that cover all sides of the issue. Beware of copyrighted articles and materials in popular publications. They often have a hidden agenda and are written to grab the reader's attention and interest rather than present factual data.
- Study the opinions of recognized experts and professionals on this issue.
- If you are collecting information about health care, be aware that the opinions of adherents will be one-sided. Such information may well be useful in understanding the reasons for such an opinion, but it is also recommended to consider views from the opposite camp.
Analyze the author's motives when reviewing information. If he is simply trying to convince the reader that his point of view is correct (or the only correct one), then do not attach exclusive importance to such material. Try to find objective works with comprehensive consideration.
- Even a one-sided article can provide counterarguments to other points of view. In this case, the author at least took other views into account when forming his own opinion.
- For example, you still don't know how to feel about German Shepherds. An article by an author who has also had an unpleasant experience is unlikely to help you form an objective opinion if he is trying to convince readers of the dangers of this breed (or dogs in general).
Listen to other discussions to hear from passionate people. This is especially important in political issues like support for a specific party or program. Informed debaters not only present their arguments, but also prepare to counter the arguments of their opponents in order to prove the preferability of their views.
- Skilled debaters can change your mind by offering perspective on an issue and supporting evidence that you had not previously considered.
- If you are studying health care law, watch television debates to hear different opinions.
Pay attention to the (right) details so you don't lose focus. Don't fall into the trap of trivial information that doesn't really matter to the question, or you risk missing the point. At the same time, some details, such as the circumstances that led to a certain event, will help you establish your opinion.
- In the German Shepherd story, details like time of year or weather don't really matter. It is much more important if food was poured into the dog, and you tried to move the bowl away at that moment.

Remember to be open-minded

Ignore personal biases. Admitting to biases is good, but ignoring them is even better. Don't let bias stop you from learning something new. Every piece of information (be it an article or an interlocutor) must be perceived objectively, as if you were dealing with this topic for the first time.
- Visit a dog shelter or visit a German Shepherd owner and act as if this is your first time seeing the dog. Be careful and try to find " common language"with a shepherd dog.
Consider the reasons why a person might have a different opinion. This is especially appropriate in sensitive issues and taboo topics. When considering a question, consider why a person might have certain views. Try to find 2-3 reasons in favor of this opinion, even if you do not share it.
- If you don't support compulsory insurance health, then one should not automatically reject the arguments of supporters of such a decision. They may have experienced situations where they were unable to get the help they needed due to lack of insurance and the required amount.
- It should be understood that often such opinions arise only after a person has experienced a similar situation himself. Perhaps he previously held the opposite opinion.
- A changed perspective may even show you in a favorable light because you are willing to consider all aspects of the issue.

One of the best ways form your own opinion - follow your intuition. You may not immediately understand the reason for a particular attitude towards a certain topic, but if it was formed instinctively, then trust your intuition.
Never put an end to a case if new evidence has emerged that contradicts your views. Keep studying and see where it takes you.
If you have carefully studied the issue and formed your own opinion, then you are ready to share your views with others in the right time and in the right place.

Warnings

People tend to have unshakable faith in their own views if they have spent a lot of time and effort studying the issue. Always remain calm and respectfully express opinions or listen to points of view that do not agree with your views. This will help you avoid conflict situations.

Instructions

Take a closer look at people who freely express their thoughts. Pay attention to how they argue their position, what persuasive techniques they use, and how listeners react to them.

Practice on your own. During a conversation, find controversial points and try to mentally connect them with your point of view. For example, watch a television talk show on a topic that interests you. When opposing sides defend their position, become the opponent of one of the sides. Try to mentally form your own opinion Give arguments for the issue being covered.

Believe in yourself. Your ideas and thoughts are as important in a conversation as the statements of your interlocutor. Don't be afraid that people will disagree with you or that you won't be understood. Don't doubt that you are right.

Have an internal dialogue with yourself. Ask yourself why you didn’t express your position in this or that situation, what prevented you. Having found the reason for your silence, try to overcome it. For example, self-doubt hinders you during a conversation with your boss at work. You need to understand that your opinion m are usually interested in those issues in which you understand. They are contacting you because you are a professional in the matter under discussion.

Do not pay attention to the surrounding environment, distractions and confusing factors that often prevent you from correctly formulating your thoughts, choosing the right words. Constantly replenish your vocabulary, read more. After reading interesting book, articles or watching a TV show, discuss them with your friends, family members. Start leading personal diary.

Try to express your opinion as often as possible in different conditions- with family, with friends, in public places. Over time, embarrassment and constraint will disappear, and express your opinion it will be easier.

Sources:

How to learn to express your opinion
have your own point of view

Own opinion– this is what distinguishes people from each other. Sometimes people accept an imposed way of life, then their individual view of things remains somewhere inside, suppressed and unexpressed. Learning to stand up for yourself is important if you want to get the most out of your life.

Instructions

Don't infringe on your interests. Your own opinion reflects your position regarding any statement or situation. It is formed on the basis of analysis and deep reflection. Draw conclusions in favor of your assessments and interests. They may partially coincide with the opinion of the majority, but the latter should not be to your detriment. Otherwise, it will already be your opinion, therefore, you simply will have nothing to defend.

Filter incoming information. Don't take other people's opinions as a basis. Do not be distracted by topics and conversations that are useless to you. Value your time. After all, wasting it deprives you of many opportunities. By doing this you defend your right to your own opinion.

Build confidence in your views. Study topics that interest you to strengthen your own opinions. If any information directly or indirectly concerns you, do not take publicly available facts on faith, check them, find additional reliable sources. Take from them only what you need.

Be true to your beliefs. Society dictates its rhythm and priorities. Your neighbor or colleague has new job, new car. Don't try to keep up with him. If your old car has the capabilities you need, why change it? If your new job requires you huge amount time, will deprive you of communication with loved ones and lead to constant stress, why do you need such work? To defend your position, always remember that if you give in to your priorities, you risk losing more than you gain.

Act in your own best interests. Don't be afraid to break existing stereotypes. Stereotypical thinking is not your thinking. At first the crowd will resist and disturb you. But then, due to a lack of patience and determination, she will retreat. And you will mind your own business, you will no longer have to defend your point of view.

Useful advice

Give reasons for each of your statements. Every thought you have must have a basis.

In disputes there are always losers and those who prove themselves right. For the most part, you want to be second, not first. But conducting discussions so that they do not turn into swearing, but convey your thoughts to the person correctly, is not always easy.

Instructions

Set a clear goal for yourself. Don't think abstractly, but decide what you want to achieve with this conversation. Formulate what you are going to say in advance. Phrases should be short and understandable so that the interlocutor does not lose the thread of your reasoning in the middle of a flowery example.

Be mindful of who you are talking to. All people are different. Some will not respond to emotional methods of persuasion, while others will not respond to rational ones. For example, some follow logic. When talking to such people, you should use facts and reliable information, and also maintain a formal communication style. Emotional people are attached to feelings, but remember, the less you know a person, the less they will be influenced by arguments based on your feelings.

Be aware of the facts you present. Put yourself in the shoes of your opponent and determine which arguments will “beat” him in the discussion. Try to present them in next order: first - strong, then - average, then - the strongest counterargument. It is better not to allow weak facts at all. There is an opinion that what is said at the beginning and end is well etched in the memory.

Respect your opponent. If you show respect for his opinions and beliefs, the other person will not need to defend himself against you. This will make the persuasion process easier.

Don't put yourself down. Don't apologize for your opinion. Ask for forgiveness as little as possible, otherwise you will seem insecure.

Start with what unites you. If it is difficult to reach an agreement, start with what you and your interlocutor have in common, rather than with the reason for the disagreement.

Listen and understand what is being said to you. Misunderstanding will only hinder your ability to convince your opponent. Listen to him, do not interrupt and ask clarifying questions.

Convince your interlocutor that the idea came from him. People trust themselves more than others. Use phrases like: “Remember, you yourself said...” “Your words pushed me to think...”. Let your interlocutor feel that at least part of what you offer is his own ideas.

Video on the topic

There are situations when you don't want anyone to pay attention to you. But is it possible to make the person you talked to simply forget about you within a day? Or get lost in the crowd so that they won’t show interest in you and won’t remember you? Experts say that this is not at all difficult if you follow some simple rules.

Instructions

Usually people are drawn to communicate with those who instinctively, as it were, “reach out to the world,” i.e. he himself has a desire to open up. But if you don’t want to be interested in you, show your indifference to others. If you lower your head, direct your gaze “inward” or to the ground and try to quickly walk past the person without offending his attention, then most likely he will not remember that he saw you.

When someone dates stranger, then the first thing people pay attention to is the appearance of the interlocutor and his manner of dressing. Therefore, in order not to stand out from the crowd of people around you, try to dress the same as them. Your clothes should be of average quality, discreet, without bright, memorable details, pendants, brooches and other noticeable jewelry, perhaps gray, dark blue or brown.

Also take care to have plain makeup and modestly combed hair. If you have an unusual hair color, wear a dark headdress, but only, of course, appropriate for the given situation. Think about whether you have any individual marks on your face or open parts of your body. If possible, they should be covered or masked.

If you need to come to an event and remain unnoticed, try to get there a little earlier, but not first. It’s very good if you sit in an inconspicuous corner and just look out the window, read a book, newspaper or magazine, without communicating with anyone.

You won't be noticed in a group of people if you come across as a service person. Even if they contact you and ask you to do something, they will most likely not remember. But, of course, only when you yourself do not attract attention to yourself.

Listen to what people are saying around you and don’t try to express your opinion. If you do have to enter into a conversation, then try not to look at your interlocutor and not to show any initiative in the dialogue. When you are asked something, answer politely and nothing more. You can simply assent, give monosyllabic, indifferent answers, or shrug your shoulders. Your task in this case is not to irritate the person. After a while, he himself will lose interest in you and the desire to continue the conversation.

However, people often refuse to accept the possibility of the existence of other points of view, accepting them a priori as false. They are stubborn and try to prove that only their opinion is true and has the right to exist, which causes indignation among their interlocutors and others.

There is no point in saying that this situation did not affect anyone. Egocentric manifestations are inherent in everyone, especially perfectionists.

However, one should not vilify a person just for his craving for smoking, because smoking brings him comfort and satisfaction. You can resort to burning your lungs to scare the smoker, but you should not seriously assume that he will accept it and reform. The only conclusion for him will be that he should spend much less time with the propagandist, otherwise it will be repeated over and over again.

When people express their opinions, you shouldn't expect the other person to readily accept it and follow their advice. This is stupid to say the least. If for some reason such a situation did occur, only one conclusion can be drawn: the opponent has not yet matured into a personality.

An interesting fact is that often extreme views regarding a situation can teach us and, more importantly, save us in life. An example of this is surrogacy.

Purely hypothetically, we can assume that the vast majority will see the world’s evil in him. However, many childless mothers who, for some reason, have lost the ability to bear children, will see this opportunity as their last chance to happy life and family happiness.

From all of the above, the thesis follows: you should not try to change the opinion of another person in accordance with your own. You should be more tolerant of others. Perhaps then there will be a little more good in the world.