Examples of how to calm someone down with words. How to calm and cheer up a crying person

Since childhood, the antagonism between life and death evokes in a person a whole palette of diverse emotions that cannot be explained. The feelings that people experience when they have lost their soul mate cannot be expressed in words. Depression and shock, stress and apathy for the future - grief cannot be gotten rid of overnight, but it can be shared with true friends.

At the moment of loss and separation, we become the most vulnerable, so the support of close friends and relatives is especially valuable. However, how exactly can you help? similar situation? How to comfort someone with words? What phrases will help you cope with loss?

Classification of stress: finding the right words for comfort

To answer the above questions, you need to consider options for the development of the situation. Traditionally, psychologists classify the state of a person experiencing the loss of a close friend or separation from a spouse into 4 stages:

Behavior: the duration of this phase ranges from 5 seconds to 2–3 weeks; a person refuses to believe in the events taking place, convinces himself of the opposite outcome; There is a lack of appetite and mobility in the grieving person.

Actions: do not leave the person alone with; share the bitterness of loss; try to distract the sufferer with light stories about a departed relative or friend; remember it in the past tense, programming your consciousness for the completion of the event.

Suffering.

Behavior: this time period lasts 6–7 weeks; during such a period, a person who is experiencing the death of a friend or relative is characterized by a lack of concentration and apathy towards the events taking place; during this period of disorder, people can visualize the “gone”; some experience intense feelings of guilt or fear, projecting impending loneliness.

Actions: do not be intrusive, let the person be alone with his own thoughts; if he wants to get angry or cry, then just don’t interfere; provide the grieving person with sufficient water; make sure he eats; invite him to take a walk, spend time outside.

Awareness.

Behavior: this condition begins in most people no earlier than a year later; attacks of panic and fear occur less frequently; sleep and appetite are restored; a person learns to plan the future taking into account past events; this phase is characterized by coming to terms with the loss of a soul mate.

Actions: at this stage there is no need to remind about the bitterness of loss; try to spend more time with the person, involving him in social spheres life.

Recovery.

Behavior: after completing the stage of accepting the situation that has happened, a person’s consciousness automatically “transitions” to the recovery phase; after 1–1.5 years, grief is replaced by a feeling of sadness, which accompanies life, but does not interfere with development in social activities.

Actions: during this time period, it is important to support the endeavors of a person who has experienced the bitterness of loss; point in the right direction; help implement plans; dream with him, designing a bright future today.

According to the above tips, you will be able to properly support loved one, picking up the right words. Don’t forget to project your recommendations onto the current situation so that, if necessary, you can promptly adjust the advice provided.

To support a person who is learning to live without a soulmate, it is important to follow simple rules that alleviate suffering:

Keep conversations about the departed person in a positive manner, but do not remember him yourself when starting a dialogue.
Don’t ask unnecessary questions so as not to accidentally “touch” a sore subject.
Listen carefully and do not interrupt the interlocutor who is experiencing the bitterness of loss.
Instead of “warm” phrases of support, it is enough to hug the person tightly, making him feel that he is not alone.
Do not compare the event that happened with other situations that happened earlier.
If a friend or relative experiences the betrayal of a spouse, then do not remember him, do not sharpen the “bare” consciousness, increasing anger and pain in the soul.
To contain your emotions without increasing your friend’s feelings, call rather than meet in person.
Before talking, project the situation that happened on yourself, understanding your friend or friend.
Don't take responsibility by giving useful tips– the recommendations are inappropriate, and you will remain to blame.
Offer help in the abstract, leaving the choice to the interlocutor.
Be patient - only time helps to cope with the pain of loss.

In answer to the question of how to comfort a person with words, psychologists agree that the traditional phrase is optimal: “I will always be there.” The main thing is to adhere to such a statement in practice.

Various unpleasant and even tragic situations happen in our lives. And man, first of all, is a social being. Therefore, the easiest and most accessible way to find support is in your environment. Sometimes one gives up because it is unclear what to do, how to help a person. Psychologists say that when a person is in any kind of altered emotional state, first you need to calm him down. So how to calm someone down?

In order to help a person calm down, it is important to follow the following rules:

• No need to be intrusive. If you see that a person needs to calm down, you should not immediately rush and help him. When he needs your help, you will notice it yourself.
• There is no need to put pressure on a person. Try to be as careful as possible when asking him about troubles, because the condition can be aggravated by unnecessary exposure.
• There is no need to teach or give instructions. The person himself knows what and how it will be better for him. Your advice should not be in the nature of teaching.
• You cannot compare a person's problem with others. Each of us has our own characteristics and character. If for some the problem seems trivial, then for others it may be the end of the world.

How to calm someone down in a difficult situation

So, if a person is not in a state of emotional explosion and is ready to talk, you can calm him down in the following way:

1. Ask the person to talk about what happened. It is important to listen to him carefully and not interrupt. You cannot remain silent, so nod your head and insert rare words into the dialogue. If the conversation is not going well, ask clarifying questions.
2. Be patient and resilient. You cannot be offended by a person if he is rude, swears, or even insults you. It is important to understand that all emotions are directed not at you, but at the problem.
3. Give the person as much time as he needs. Under no circumstances should the narrator be rushed.
4. Ask him what you can do to help him. You don’t need to immediately offer your options; sometimes the person himself will ask you to do something.
5. Try to support the person. Some need a friendly hug, others need a walk outdoors. Support him as best you can.

How to calm someone down in an emergency situation

If it happened extreme situation, and there are no specialists who can help, then you will have to calm the person down yourself. There are two types of reactions under stressful conditions - an emotional storm (when a person reacts sharply, screams, swears, cries, etc.) and emotional stupor (when a person cannot say anything; looks at one point; does not make contact).

If he screams and swears, you need to emotionally talk to him until the person gets tired. Sometimes you can hug the person tightly and hold him until he stops overreacting. Only then try to calm down as described above.

If a person is in a state of stupor, then you need to “revive” him. To do this, you can shake him by the shoulders, pour cold water, pinch. And only then calm down.

For many people, the difficulty arises in how to calm someone down with words. Psychologists advise that you need to carefully monitor what you say. Moreover, you need to monitor both words and emotions. You can't swear or get angry at a person. You need to speak specific facts, diluted with soothing words. It is also important that the person responds to your words. To do this, you can ask questions like “do you agree?”, “can you hear me?”, “what do you think about this?”

Which ones are not worth it? the site will tell you how to provide moral support to a person in a difficult situation.

Grief is a human reaction that occurs as a result of some kind of loss, for example, after the death of a loved one.

4 stages of grief

A person experiencing grief goes through 4 stages:

• Shock phase. Lasts from a few seconds to several weeks. It is characterized by disbelief in everything that is happening, insensibility, low mobility with periods of hyperactivity, loss of appetite, problems with sleep.
• Suffering phase. Lasts from 6 to 7 weeks. Characterized by weakened attention, inability to concentrate, memory and sleep disturbances. The person also experiences constant anxiety, a desire to be alone, and lethargy. Stomach pain and a feeling of a lump in the throat may occur. If a person experiences the death of a loved one, then during this period he may idealize the deceased or, on the contrary, experience anger, rage, irritation or guilt towards him.
• Acceptance phase ends a year after the loss of a loved one. Characterized by restoration of sleep and appetite, the ability to plan your activities taking into account the loss. Sometimes a person still continues to suffer, but attacks occur less and less often.
• Recovery phase begins after a year and a half, grief gives way to sadness and a person begins to relate to the loss more calmly.

Is it necessary to console a person? Undoubtedly yes. If the victim is not given help, this can lead to infectious diseases, heart diseases, alcoholism, accidents, and depression. Psychological help is priceless, so support your loved one as best you can. Interact with him, communicate. Even if it seems to you that the person is not listening to you or is not paying attention, do not worry. The time will come when he will remember you with gratitude.

Should you console strangers? If you feel enough moral strength and desire to help, do it. If a person doesn’t push you away, doesn’t run away, doesn’t scream, then you’re doing everything right. If you are not sure that you can comfort the victim, find someone who can do it.

Is there a difference in consoling people you know and people you don't know? Actually, no. The only difference is that you know one person more, another less. Once again, if you feel empowered, then help. Stay nearby, talk, involve in common activities. Don't be greedy for help, it is never superfluous.

So, let's look at the methods psychological support in the two most difficult stages of grief.

Shock phase

Your behavior:

• Don't leave the person alone.
• Touch the victim unobtrusively. You can take your hand, put your hand on your shoulder, pat your loved ones on the head, or hug. Monitor the victim's reaction. Does he accept your touch or does he push away? If it pushes you away, don’t impose yourself, but don’t leave.
• Make sure that the person being consoled rests more and does not forget about meals.
• Keep the victim occupied with simple activities, such as some funeral work.
• Listen actively. A person may say strange things, repeat himself, lose the thread of the story, and keep returning to emotional experiences. Avoid advice and recommendations. Listen carefully, ask clarifying questions, talk about how you understand him. Help the victim simply talk through his experiences and pain - he will immediately feel better.

Your words:

• Talk about the past in the past tense.
• If you know the deceased, tell him something good about him.

You can't say:

• “You can’t recover from such a loss,” “Only time heals,” “You are strong, be strong.” These phrases can cause additional suffering to a person and increase his loneliness.
• “Everything is God’s will” (helps only deeply religious people), “I’m tired of it,” “He will be better there,” “Forget about it.” Such phrases can greatly hurt the victim, since they sound like a hint to reason with their feelings, not to experience them, or even completely forget about their grief.
• “You are young, beautiful, you will get married/have a child.” Such phrases can cause irritation. A person experiences a loss in the present, he has not yet recovered from it. And they tell him to dream.
• “If only the ambulance had arrived on time,” “If only the doctors had paid more attention to her,” “If only I hadn’t let him in.” These phrases are empty and do not carry any benefit. Firstly, history does not tolerate subjunctive mood, and secondly, such expressions only increase the bitterness of loss.

Suffering phase

Your behavior:

• In this phase, the victim can already be given the opportunity to be alone from time to time.
• Let's give it to the victim more water. He should drink up to 2 liters per day.
• Organize physical activity for him. For example, take him for a walk, do physical work around the house.
• If the victim wants to cry, do not stop him from doing so. Help him cry. Don't hold back your emotions - cry with him.
• If he shows anger, don’t interfere.

Your words:

How to comfort someone: true words

• If your ward wants to talk about the deceased, bring the conversation to the area of ​​​​feelings: “You are very sad/lonely”, “You are very confused”, “You cannot describe your feelings.” Tell me how you feel.
• Tell me that this suffering will not last forever. And loss is not a punishment, but a part of life.
• Do not avoid talking about the deceased if there are people in the room who are extremely worried about this loss. Tactfully avoiding these topics hurts more than mentioning the tragedy.

You can't say:

• “Stop crying, pull yourself together”, “Stop suffering, everything is over” - this is tactless and harmful to psychological health.
• “And someone has it worse than you.” Such topics can help in situations of divorce, separation, but not the death of a loved one. You cannot compare one person's grief with another's. Conversations that involve comparison can give the person the impression that you don't care about their feelings.

There is no point in telling the victim: “If you need help, contact/call me” or asking him “How can I help you?” A person experiencing grief may simply not have the strength to pick up the phone, call and ask for help. He may also forget about your offer.

To prevent this from happening, come and sit with him. As soon as the grief subsides a little, take him for a walk, take him to the store or to the cinema. Sometimes this has to be done by force. Don't be afraid to seem intrusive. Time will pass, and he will appreciate your help.

How to support someone if you are far away?

Call him. If he doesn't answer, leave a message on the answering machine, write an SMS or email email. Express your condolences, communicate your feelings, share memories that characterize the deceased from the brightest sides.

Remember that helping a person overcome grief is necessary, especially if this is a person close to you. In addition, this will help not only him to cope with the loss. If the loss also affected you, by helping another, you yourself will be able to experience grief more easily, with less damage to your own mental state. And this will also save you from feelings of guilt - you won’t reproach yourself for the fact that you could have helped, but didn’t, brushing aside other people’s troubles and problems.

Even the strongest among us often need words of encouragement. Everyone has times when friendly participation is needed. This article contains words and ideas that will become an impulse that will help you evaluate the current circumstances from a different point of view.

Unfortunately, we do not know how to speak words of encouragement. Most of us exist in fairy tale worlds social networks or television series, where everything is beautiful, cloudless and always with happy ending. But real life far from ideal worlds.

If you need to support someone struggling with an illness, avoid tired clichés. They are deprived of the human warmth that your counterpart so needs.

So, words of support for the sick person:

• You can always count on me.
• I'm sorry about what happened. I'm here to help.
• I just want to remind you how strong you are.
• I believe in you.
• Listen to the advice of doctors and take care of yourself.
• I have always admired your talent for overcoming adversity with grace and humor.
• All that we have left in the past and what awaits us in the future - all this is immeasurably small compared to what is contained in the present ( Ralph Waldo Emerson).
• What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the creator calls the butterfly ( Richard Bach).
• The soul wouldn't have a rainbow if the eyes didn't have tears ( Beth Mende Connie).
• Stars can only be seen when it is dark enough ( Ralph Waldo Emerson).
• Sleep, wealth and health must be interrupted so that we can learn to truly enjoy them ( Johann Pavel Friedrich Richter).
• With our sorrow and anxiety we deprive our tomorrow of any possibility of being. We simply don’t have the strength left for him ( Corrie Ten Boom).
• Your illness is just one chapter, but not the whole story.

Phrases and words to cheer up a man, guy: list

When communicating with a man, do not forget to add sugar to everything you say. And take the salt out of everything he tells you.

Try the following affirmations:

• I love you more today than ever before.
• Your decisions, hard work, loving and generous heart fill me with pride.
• Even if we are not together, we will always be one team.
• I'm happy that I have you.
• You do so much for my happiness, let me support you.
• I will always be by your side. And I will go where you lead me.
• It is an honor for me to be by your side.
• I learned a lot from you.
• Whatever happens, I want to grow old next to you.
• I think fate has big plans for me. That's why she gave you to me.
• Hard times don't matter if we're together.
• Everything will be as it should be. Even if it turns out differently.
• Every finish is the start of something completely new.

Phrases and words to cheer up a girl, woman: list

Women are more emotional and more often need support. There is no need to criticize her or her actions at this moment.

Try to give a woman her wings back:

• If every thought I had about you turned into a flower, you would end up in the Garden of Eden.
• You can't even imagine how much I appreciate you.
• You are not alone, even when you think you are.
• Thank you for being here.
• I admire your talent for painting life with bright colors.
• I admire the selfless love you give to the world.
• You - sunbeam in my life.
• Next to you I feel loved, protected and understood. Thank you for this.
• Fate knew that I would need support and support in this life and sent me you.
• Your attitude towards me makes me become better than I am.

Phrases and words to cheer yourself up: list

• I'm alone at home.
• I am free/free to make decisions.
• Any “minus” can always be turned into a “plus”.
• I am the architect of my life. I lay the foundation and choose the content.
• I am above negative thoughts and low actions.
• Everything that happens to me now is for my ultimate benefit.
• Although this period of my life is not the easiest, it is just a short segment of my life's journey.
• The sun will rise tomorrow too. No matter what.
• Even in troubles there is always something useful and important for you.

How to cheer up a man, a guy, a person with words who works a lot and is tired at work?

Gender roles in the family are changing. However, we live in a fairly patriarchal society, where the man remains the main breadwinner in the family.

• The basis that is quite enough for happiness: sunlight, water, rest, air, physical activity. And all this doesn't cost a penny. Think about it. Take a break. Be happy.
• Peace can wait. Take your time. Recover.
• Your hard work and loving and generous heart fills me with gratitude.
• I don't think we would want to do much if we weren't tired ( Clive Staples Lewis).
• Life is complicated. First you get tired of work, and then of not having it.
• The one who walks will master the road. We will walk our path together.
• I really appreciate what you do for me (us).

How to cheer up a depressed man, guy, person, girl with words?

Depression is difficult to fight alone. Simple but sincere words can change a lot. But there should be no pity in these words. Only love, support and understanding.

• Most likely, the problem will not go away in 24 hours. But in 24 hours your attitude towards this problem can change. Let's change this together. You can always count on my help.
• The most painful blows inflicts life on us. This is why you need to learn to take a punch. I will study with you. Let's think about where we start.
• My words may not lighten your load, but I am here and you are not alone.
• You are stronger and braver than you think and more loved than you can imagine.
• The most strong people are not those who show strength in front of others, but those who win battles that we know nothing about.
• No one is ever too old, too bad, too sick or too stupid to start over (Bikram Chowdhury).
• Even if you tripped and fell, you still moved forward.
• No one can go back in time and rewrite the beginning of history. But everyone can change the current moment and change the final part of history.

How to cheer up a man, guy, person, girl during illness with words?

• I can't imagine what your next days (months) will be like, but I intend to be by your side throughout this time.
• There's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear means you're ready to do something really brave - win.

At the beginning of the article you will find more affirmations on this topic.

If a person is upset: how to cheer him up? How to encourage a friend with words?

• I can't live through this for you. But I can live through this with you. And together we can do everything.
• Chaos and trouble precede great change.
• Remember any unpleasant story that bothered you recently. Does she still bother you?
• Build a strong foundation from the stones that your ill-wishers throw at you.

Above in the text you will find many others interesting quotes, aphorisms and affirmations.

Video: How to help a friend if he is depressed? #6 // Psychology What?

In the article you will learn:

How to calm a person in hysterics using psychological methods?

Hello friends! Have you ever encountered inappropriate behavior from loved ones or friends? I had to. And this was not the most pleasant experience. I was at a loss then and didn’t understand what to do, how to calm a person in hysterics. Firstly, it was scary for him - it was unknown what he would do. Secondly, it’s terrible to feel your own powerlessness when you really want to help.
But that was a long time ago. We all get a little freaked out by the winds of change sometimes. And now I know, I can, and I practice how to provide first aid to a victim. And, of course, I will be happy to share my findings with you.

Don't let the hurricane rage

A person who is in a hysterical fit screams a lot, speaks emotionally, may cry, make nervous movements and rash actions. The deep purpose of this behavior is demonstrative, the desire to involve one in one’s own volcano of experiences.
Therefore, the task of the one who is nearby is to extinguish it at the stage of conception. But not with words, in this case they may not help, but, on the contrary, harm. Any response, especially an emotional and negative one, can provoke the further development of a nervous breakdown.

To calm a person, you need to give valerian or bring ammonia in the very first minutes. Any sedative, except alcohol! Also stick to the rule, silence is golden. That is, do not try to calm down verbally, and especially do not get excited in this situation yourself, do not swear or shout.
It's better to hug tightly and wait for the emotions to subside. After a couple of minutes, begin to carefully, calmly ask questions and discuss the problem.

The intensity of passions

If the process cannot be stopped and there is no response to your attempts, then you will have to resort to harsh methods. When a person is trembling and shaking, there is no point in hugging and reassuring. Actions are needed that will distract a person from his condition.
To stop the hysteria, we need to ask distracting questions that will engage the logic of our mentally damaged person. Ask about work, children, anything unrelated to the problem. Try to turn on the brain of someone who has gone crazy. This method, by the way, is good if you have to calm a person over the Internet.
If the attempt is hopeless, proceed to physical actions:

- clap your hands
- click on pain point just below the elbow
- give a slap, but be careful not to get bitten
- shake your shoulders two or three times
- splash a glass of water
- pour water under the shower
- drop the chair
- jump onto the windowsill, table

Such distracting actions can pull a person out of his state and calm raging nerves. After this, short commands should be given: “Drink water!”, “Come with me!”, “Lie down!”, They also help restore normal psyche.
Since after a hysteria, as a rule, a breakdown occurs, then in accordance with the commands, give a glass cold water or hot tea and put you to bed. Now you can console with words, support, encourage, talk. But, under no circumstances read morals or lecture! “I told you so”, “I warned you” - such phrases should not exist.

Safety precautions

When trying to stop inappropriate behavior, think about safety rules:
1. Under no circumstances leave the person alone. Be there if the tantrum continues. An exception may be when the process has just begun and you can return to the victim at any time in less than 1 minute.
2. Remove everything from the room dangerous items. There are especially many of them in the kitchen. Therefore, hide the knives and forks, or take the person to another room.
3. At the beginning of the article, I mentioned that hysteria is caused by demonstrative reasons, so it is necessary to clear the room of all third parties. And if the hysteria happened on the street or in a crowd, then take him to a secluded place. Deprive the actor of his audience.

Think about the psychological safety of a person who has been unsettled. After he has calmed down, be sure to talk to him about the problem. Don't leave him alone with his troubles. Don’t lead conversations in a different direction, but listen calmly and carefully.
I would like to emphasize that it is important not to become infected with other people’s emotions. Avoid excessive sympathy and pity. If necessary, let me cry. But think about your own condition, do not take everything to heart.
Also, do not give any advice or offer a solution to the problem in this situation. Since in at the moment there is a process of understanding what happened. A person is now incapable of solving this in any way. And your proposals can only cause a new wave of worries.

If a child is hysterical

For infants, loud crying is a signal of discomfort, pain, or unmet need. For older children, crying and hysterics are often a way of manipulating parents to get what they want.
And, as a rule, it is very difficult for parents to calm a raging child. No matter how they persuade, exhort or threaten, nothing works. Over time, such manipulations become a habitual pattern of behavior.

The task of mothers and fathers is to accustom their child to the fact that not all his wishes can come true. How to stop the child's violent protests?
1. Parents should master themselves first. There is no point in explaining to the child the reasons for refusal now, shouting at him and attacking him. Moreover, there is no need to punish! If this is difficult, move away from him. But without emotional outbursts and comments, calmly.
2. If you see that your child is scared by his own reaction and is “crazy,” then hug him and provide support. Explain, if he does not show irritation, that this happens and it will pass. The baby should not worry about this.
3. Next, distract the child with a game, an interesting cartoon, or a snack. And don't focus on what happened.
4. Unfortunately, most often children begin to behave uncontrollably in stores, clinics, and on the street. In this case, you need to go to a place where there are fewer people and turn away from the crying child. Deprived of spectators, he will quickly stop making noise.

In addition to the fact that the main task is not to be provoked, parents must understand why their little one does this. Perhaps this is the only way to express your desires when parents are overly authoritarian. Then you should reconsider your attitude towards your child and become more democratic.
Or she does this because she doesn’t know how to show her emotions. In this case, you need to teach it. For example, talk about the emotions that the child experiences. “You are angry now, but this is temporary”, “I see that you are angry now”, etc.

Preventive measures

Most best way from stressful situations for adults and children, it is to keep them out. Of course, we cannot influence events that are beyond our control. For example, difficulties at work, accidents or the loss of a loved one. But many nervous conditions can be avoided by discussing problems in a timely manner.
Don’t wait for them to accumulate and explode, but speak out and show emotions towards them. Throw out everything that is unpleasant to the soul. If necessary, contact specialists in a timely manner. Or use the psychological methods that I told you about today.

With love to you, June!
Let me remind you that you can subscribe to news. And if you liked the article, share it with your friends. Bye everyone!