Principles of effective communication. Effective communications

In the art of communication, it is very important to be able to listen and understand the person you are talking to.. By explaining to people your intentions and the reasons from which you proceed, you will be able to prevent many misunderstandings, quarrels and conflicts. Honesty in a conversation with an interlocutor is often the only way out of a conflict situation. But the truth should be expressed not in order to humiliate the interlocutor, but, on the contrary, in order to elevate him in his own eyes and clarify your position.

What hinders and what facilitates communication? The reasons for misunderstanding between people can be different: political, religious views, worldview, psychological characteristics. However, the main reason lies in the inability to hear the interlocutor. The most important part of the communication process is listening. If a person listens attentively to his interlocutor, it means he is well-mannered, understands the speaker’s problem and, as it were, helps him correctly formulate his thoughts. The communication process is complex, it is influenced by various factors: mood, circumstances, character a person, his sociability or, conversely, shyness. Depending on the type of communication, formal or informal, it is necessary to choose the right manner of behavior, tone, gestures, words and expressions.

Informal communication- This communication at home, with parents and friends; formal - at work, while studying, with unfamiliar people. In communication, we often admit things that interfere with mutual understanding. This is the use of offensive words and expressions, offensive nicknames, unnecessary abbreviations. Signs of attention that can calm and have a lasting impact help improve interpersonal relationships. “Hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “sorry”... - these simple words have power over our mood. It is very important that they are always present in people’s communication at work, in public places, and used in the family.

So what is it culture communication? If a person expresses his thoughts competently, knows how to behave, and treats his interlocutor with respect, we say that this person masters the culture of communication.

There are rules, the implementation of which helps to establish good relationship with people:

• Communication as equals, without rudeness and servility.
• Respect for the personal opinion of the interlocutor.
• Lack of desire to find out who is right and who is wrong.
• Communication at the level of requests, not orders.
• Search for compromise solutions.
• The ability to appreciate the decisions of others.
• The ability to accept the experiences of others.

If a person does not know how to enter into a conversation, then he should choose any interesting topic for conversation and a time when the person being addressed is not busy with any work. You should always remember that the other person is not like you, and you need to be able to look at things through his eyes, especially in conflict situations.

Respectful attitude towards people impossible without respecting his point of view, even if it does not agree with yours. You can cultivate a respectful attitude towards people only if you learn to see individuality in each person, that is, those character traits that are unique to him.

Each of us is worthy of respect. By respecting another, you respect yourself, so if you have a bad relationship with someone, it is up to you to make an effort to put it in order. Psychologists give good advice, which is as follows: do not forget about the interests of your interlocutor. Your lively and sincere interest in what he is interested in will make him excited and enthusiastic.

There are several important rules conducting an open and honest conversation with an “uncomfortable interlocutor”, which both adults and adolescents need to know:

Use “I-language.” Starting a phrase with the words: “From my point of view...” or “The way I see it...”, you will soften the conversation and show the interlocutor that you are expressing only your point of view, without claiming to be the ultimate truth. Thus, you recognize his right to have own opinion. Surely they will listen to you much calmer and more attentively.

Try to talk about a specific incident or behavior without making generalizations. For example, generalizations like: “There was no case that you came home on time (did your homework).” This start of a conversation will give the teenager the opportunity to escape from the problem being discussed. He will begin to remember and prove that he once did something on time.

Try to show your interlocutor that his behavior primarily interferes with himself. In order to create conditions in which an adult or adolescent would want to change their behavior, it is necessary to try to explain how much they are missing out on in life because of their own behavior.

Invite your interlocutor to change their behavior. Explain to him what exactly he can do in this situation in order to correct it. It is possible that since you do not want to offend him, it will be quite difficult for you to tell him the truth. However, remember: if you remain silent, you can harm him.

When talking to a teenager or an adult, do not expect that they will immediately understand you or agree with you. If your interlocutor takes offense at you in a conversation, do not be afraid to patiently explain your point of view to him again. Pay close attention to his reaction to your words. Try to achieve mutual understanding, use a return to what was said, ask again and agree, do not forget about clarifying questions and summing up what you heard... Of course, for some, such an establishment of relationships may seem like too much time, but all this will take much less time, effort and emotions than action-reaction type communication, since such a conversation does not give any result at all.

More often Honesty is the best policy in relationships with people. It's amazing how often we start conversations with clever strategies and tactics, forgetting to try to simply speak out first. Honest dialogue is the most effective, simple and reliable means of turning conflict into cooperation.

A modern person strives to be successful everywhere - both at work and in personal life. Career, family, friends - all these are components of life, and effective communication allows you to improve all areas and come to maximum agreement. Everyone should strive to improve their social skills. Even if difficulties arise initially, over time this knowledge will bring well-deserved results - reliable interpersonal connections.

Definition of communication

Different ways of transmitting information from one person to another are called communication. It includes all the variety of channels for transmitting and decoding signals and can be:

• verbal;
• non-verbal;
• written;
• pictographic;
• spatial-symbolic, etc.

Communication is considered effective when the sender of information communicates on the same wavelength as the recipient. However, even communication in a single sign system does not guarantee that the message will be correctly deciphered.

Effective communication minimizes the loss of meaning of the message. To successfully promote a business, to maintain friendships, and for a vibrant personal life, it will be useful for any person to improve their communication skills.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken language developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding more difficult, and effective communication is becoming a separate object of study.

The communication process includes five elements:

1. A communicator is someone who conveys information.
2. Contents of the message.
3. The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).
4. The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.
5. The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Principles of Effective Communication

Without positive communication, it is impossible to achieve mutual understanding on any issue. In order to make sure that other people correctly perceive outgoing information, it is necessary to comply with a number of requirements.

First of all, you need to pay attention to the principles of effective communication:

1. Communication should be two-way. When all participants are interested in a positive outcome of the conversation, and it is equal for them, the desired effect occurs.
2. The recipient must make every effort to correctly perceive the message.
3. The message must be clear, structured and concise.
4. The recipient must trust the speaker, respect his opinion and not question his competence.
5. Effective communication is always emotional, to the extent that is acceptable in a given situation.
6. Patience and forbearance towards other people's shortcomings. Accepting people as they are, without trying to adjust or fix anything.

Below we will discuss the main conditions for effective communication.

How to achieve a positive effect from communication?

For communication to be considered effective, certain conditions must be met:

1. Speech must correspond to the original purpose of the conversation and be adequate. Don't talk too much or bring up issues that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed. This improves effective communication skills.
2. The words used must be logical and lexically accurate; this is very important to achieve the goal of communication. Achieved through constant self-education, reading various literature and careful attention to the native language.
3. The narrative itself should be logical and competent. A clear structure of presentation creates favorable conditions for listeners and increases the chances of a positive outcome.

Effective Communication Techniques

Any person lives in society and is dependent on it. Even the most desperate homebodies, perhaps not directly, but enter into interpersonal relationships. Effective communication will be useful both for work and for everyday social connections. Communication techniques and skills can be developed and improved - this will make anyone's life much easier.

Do you want to receive positivity in the process of communication? It will be useful for you to learn some techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication:

1. Learn to listen carefully to what they say. You should not just look at the interlocutor during a conversation, but also bend slightly, nod your head, and ask appropriate leading questions. This technique will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s point of view as accurately as possible.
2. Be clear, concise and to the point. The more clearly a thought is formulated, the more likely it is that it will be understood and perceived correctly.
3. Include in your arsenal not only verbal, but also non-verbal communication. Take the same position as the interlocutor, try to use only open gestures, and do not touch your face during the conversation.
4. Watch for the emotional coloring of speech. It should be moderate, but so much so that the interlocutor understands your interest in the issue.
5. Mastering techniques to control your voice allows you to accelerate the development of effective communication. Clear articulation, correct timbre and adjusted volume will make any message positive.
6. Master technical means of communication. Any adult must be able to use the telephone, fax, Skype, by email. Written communication skills should be developed regularly.

These are just basic techniques designed to facilitate and improve interpersonal communication.

Rules for Effective Communication

Anything must meet certain standards. Their violation leads to a lack of understanding between interlocutors, conflicts and even a breakdown in relationships.

Rules for effective communication:

1. Speak the other person's language. This rule should be understood as the need to take into account the level of education, social status, age and other parameters. To be heard and understood, you need to formulate your thoughts based on the characteristics of the audience.
2. Prepare to communicate. If the conversation is not spontaneous, you should find out in advance who you are going to meet with and for what reason. Take visual materials and technical means. Develop a conversation plan.
3. Learn the tricks active listening, this will help to position the interlocutor and better understand his point of view.
4. Speak clearly, moderately loudly and confidently, do not draw out your words, but do not repeat them either.
5. When writing a letter, stick to the chosen style.
6. Before calling by phone or Skype, make a plan for the conversation and the issues that need to be discussed in advance.

Ways to communicate effectively

To achieve mutual understanding in the communication process, it is necessary to create conditions and take into account possible ways effective communication. There are six of them in total:

1. Strive to express your thoughts as convincingly as possible. Always keep it brief and to the point, avoid unnecessary verbiage, omissions and possible double interpretations.
2. Use terminology and professionalism only when they are appropriate.
3. Even in everyday communication, you should avoid jargon and slang expressions, this is especially true for intergenerational communication.
4. Avoid excessive emotional stress, both positive and negative.
5. Try to address yourself personally, by name, scientific or military rank, or by uniting a group of interlocutors with a generally meaningful word.
6. Always observe etiquette.

Nonverbal cues to improve communication

The interlocutors perceive each other not only by ear. Verbal impact can be increased or decreased by a variety of nonverbal cues. Our body sends them to large quantities, and other people read and interpret them on a subconscious level.

To improve, it will be useful to master the techniques of positive nonverbal reinforcement:

1. Always be clean and tidy: even if your clothes do not quite comply with the dress code, general impression the conversation will be positive.
2. Try to control your facial expressions and emotions. Facial expression should be neutral-positive and react with changes depending on the flow of the conversation.
3. Avoid touching your face during a communicative act - this is subconsciously perceived as an attempt to cover your mouth, and accordingly, your statement is false.
4. Learn to “mirror” the body position of your interlocutor. It is important to do this delicately, without excessive zeal, so as not to look like a caricature.
5. Avoid “closed” poses - crossed arms and legs. This body position indicates an unpreparedness for effective communication. While open palms and a friendly smile can win over any interlocutor.

Conditions for effective communication using technical means

Technological progress has given us new means to facilitate communication. These are telephones, faxes, the Internet. Communication using technology should be built according to the same rules and principles as interpersonal communication. All rules of etiquette and principles of conducting business and personal conversations must be observed.

What's happened effective communication? In short, effective communication is the ability to actively listen (that is, understand what the other person has to say) and assertively speak (that is, speak confidently, persuasively, in a friendly and direct manner). Effective Communication Skills every person needs: People who know how to communicate achieve success both in their careers and in their personal lives. Find out how to learn to communicate with people

Communication has two sides: relationships with yourself and relationships with other people.

The most important relationship in a person's life is the relationship with himself. How you treat yourself determines how you communicate with others. Treat yourself with respect and love, and you will be perceived as a positive person.

The main cause of problems between people is the inability to communicate, the inability to achieve mutual understanding. Neither in school nor in college are we taught how to communicate effectively. Most people behave in communication either aggressively, passively unconvincing, or assertively (persuasively).

Effective communication: the main causes of problems between people

1. Inability to actively listen to the interlocutor.
2. Hasty conclusions. We often think that we already know what the other person is going to say. We can interrupt the interlocutor, finish his sentence for him, stop listening carefully. All this negatively affects the effectiveness of interaction with people.
3. Nonverbal signs. Research shows that words make up only 7% of communication, the rest is non-verbal communication (facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, etc.) So, if your non-verbal signals are inconsistent with your words, people will pay attention to how you express yourself nonverbally.
4. Bias. If you have a negative attitude towards the conversation or the interlocutor in advance, then most likely you will not be able to achieve mutual understanding. It is always better to set yourself up for a successful interaction.
5. Incorrect use of questions. Some people think that by asking a lot of questions they communicate effectively. This is not always the case. You need to ask the right questions at the right time. It is better to ask questions that require a detailed answer (what, when, where, who, why, how), rather than short yes or no answers.

Important rules for achieving mutual understanding

1. Structure your thoughts, ideas in your head before sharing them with others. If you express your thoughts chaotically, it will be difficult for your interlocutors to follow what you are trying to convey to them.
2. Effective communication is about collaboration, not competition. Communication is like a dance, where partners coordinate their steps to create a beautiful dance. Communication is a two-way process that involves the exchange of ideas. If you try to make communication one-way, it will not lead to anything good.
3. assumes that all parties involved express their attitude to what is being said (not remain silent), constructively criticizing if necessary and accepting such criticism without offense.

When communication within a couple is effective, it helps lovers quickly get closer and thereby strengthen their relationship, immersing themselves in an atmosphere of complete mutual understanding. But in fact, few couples achieve complete mutual understanding, because they commit typical mistakes that interfere with effective communication.

Avoiding conflict

Avoiding conflict is, of course, also a way to resolve conflict situations, but it should be used only as a temporary measure and preferably as rarely as possible. Otherwise, dissatisfaction will grow, which will result in problems with communication and relationships in general. It is better to solve problems as they arise, rather than putting them off until later.

Inability to accept criticism

There are people who do not know how to accept criticism, not even constructive criticism. But constructive criticism is useful, it helps people improve, become better, grow above yourself. Be sure to learn to accept complaints and evaluate them objectively, and also ask your family and friends for advice on how to get rid of your problem.

The habit of generalizing and exaggerating everything

As soon as something unpleasant happens, for example, a friend is late for a meeting, some people immediately exaggerate things by saying: "You're always late". Or if someone could not keep a promise, he may hear in response: “You never keep your promises”. This is the habit that prevents people from communicating effectively. Look at the world with a positive attitude and don't judge a person by his actions alone..

The habit of considering only oneself right

Arrogant people who always and everywhere consider only their own point of view to be correct find it very difficult to communicate with other people. . Precisely because of their arrogance and excessive confidence that they are always right, although in fact they are often mistaken.

The habit of not listening to your interlocutor

It is very difficult to convey your thought to someone if he is thinking about something completely different and is constantly distracted, cannot focus on the interlocutor who is trying to convey his thoughts to him. If you are constantly distracted, for example, thinking about what you will say when the interlocutor interrupts, you will not be able to properly think through his words, to understand what he wanted. And the conversation will turn out empty and meaningless.

Rivalry

When disputes arise, difficult situations, many are trying to show themselves off the best side, and sometimes to the detriment of their friends, family, and loved ones. They try to shield themselves, criticize others for the lack of logic and everything else, but they are in no hurry to analyze the situation and build in logical chains. Competition interferes with effective communication, especially when it comes to communication and relationships between family members or best friends.

Effective Communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, personality development, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transfer, assimilation and exchange of information are necessary are unthinkable.

Communication plays an important role in a person’s mastery of cultural and universal values ​​and social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, there is a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc.

Increasing the importance of communication in the modern world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which presupposes the need for deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and characteristics that manifest themselves in people’s activities.

It is proposed to base the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline on following definition this discipline. Speech culture is such a set and such an organization of linguistic means that, in a certain communication situation, while observing modern language norms and communication ethics, make it possible to ensure the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the “final product”, the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we mean the best way achieving the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of language.

Effective communication technologies are those methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) of communication partners.

Communication itself, as a complex socio-psychological process, is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, and compassion.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the goals of the conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their “closedness” towards each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in a conflict. Therefore, to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process and to form a goal for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker and his message.

Check whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

While receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not summarize, and do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving information and clarifying it.

Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the sequence of information delivery. Without verifying the accuracy of the information received by your partner, do not proceed to new messages.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, and show empathy for your interlocutor.

Use non-verbal means communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques conducive to constructive dialogue.

To communicate effectively, you need to know some techniques, because... many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

20 sec. you are being evaluated.

20 sec. how and what you started saying.

20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show sincere interest in the interlocutor.

Smile.

Remember the person’s name and don’t forget to repeat it in conversation from time to time.

Be able to listen.

Conduct a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

Be observant;

Give a compliment;

Talk about your interlocutor's problems.

Rules for effective communication according to Black:

Always insist on the truth.

Building messages is simple and clear.

Don't embellish, don't overcharge.

Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication fun and avoid boredom and routine.

Control the form of communication and avoid extravagance.

Take the time to find out the general opinion.

Remember the need for continuous communication and finding out common opinion.

Try to be convincing at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

You will win over your interlocutor.

You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of using them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person depends 38% on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (body language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that from the very beginning communication is built on its basis. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the “minefield” of the first 20 seconds, you need to use the “Rule of Three Pluses.”

Experts have noticed: in order to win over your interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, give pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible “pluses”, but the most universal of them are: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the simplest thing in communication. But to do it masterfully is the highest art.

There are three types of compliments:

1. Indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “mad” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, when you go to a female boss’s office, to casually notice how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with yourself.

2. Compliment “minus-plus”. We first give the interlocutor a small “minus”. For example, “Perhaps I cannot say that you good worker...You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, a person is lost and is ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering is said to him. The psychological state is reminiscent of the feelings of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first - horror from the thought of death, and then - indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything powerful, it is risky. If the “minus” turns out to be stronger than the “plus”, the consequences could be disastrous for us.

3. The person is compared to something most precious to the person giving the compliment. “I would like to have a son as responsible as you!” This compliment is the subtlest and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But the scope of its application is limited:

In order not to look artificial, it is necessary to have close and trusting relationships between the interlocutors.

A partner should know how important to us is what we are comparing with.

The hardest thing about a compliment is to respond to it appropriately. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, even if he is not offended, will not want to compliment us another time. General scheme may be as follows: “It’s thanks to you!” All art consists in the ability to vary it gracefully. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive qualities, and not because he is so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

A smile is an expression good attitude towards the interlocutor, a psychological “plus”, the answer to which is the interlocutor’s disposition towards us. A sincere, friendly smile cannot spoil a single face, and the vast majority of them make them more attractive.

It is advisable to accustom yourself to having a warm, friendly smile, or at least a readiness for it, become the usual expression on your face. This is exactly what your smile should be – open and sincere.

Remember the name of the interlocutor

The very sound of a name has a great impact on a person. During conflicts, wanting to relieve their severity, people subconsciously begin to use the names of their interlocutors more often. Often we need not so much to insist on our own, but to see that people are listening to us, and to hear our name at the same time. Often a name is the decisive straw for things to turn out in our favor. A manager who wants to make a good impression can use the following technique: keep a notebook and write down the names of all his business partners and subordinates and sometimes look at it so that he can address him by name when meeting. It leaves a lasting impression on people that a person much higher in the ranks remembers them by name.

A person's name is the most important sound for him in any language.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor

We all want to feel significant, so that at least something depends on us.

The need to feel important is one of the most natural and characteristic human weaknesses, characteristic of these people to one degree or another. And sometimes it is enough to give a person the opportunity to realize his own significance so that he will happily agree to do what we ask.

Any employee wants others to value his work, recognize his employment, usefulness and indispensability. Therefore, it never hurts us, turning to him, to apologize for the “disturbance caused,” although fulfilling our request is included in the scope of his “official duties.”

Of course, there are thousands of means of raising the importance of an interlocutor; everyone chooses the most suitable one for a given situation. But there are also universal remedies that can be called truly magical words.

For example, the phrase “I would like to consult with you!” People read them like this: “They want to consult with me. I'm needed! I am significant! Well, why not help this person? Of course, this phrase is a general formula; the whole art lies in the ability to vary it, to look for the most appropriate words for the situation.

The main thing is to sincerely ask the person for one or another help.

Raising the importance of your interlocutor can become a universal key to his soul only if this is done sincerely.

Listening skills

Rule 1: “The best conversationalist is not the one who knows how to speak well, but the one who knows how to listen well.”

Rule 2: “People tend to listen to others only after they have listened to them.”

So, if we want to be listened to, we must first listen to the other person.

There are special techniques for understanding listening that everyone can learn:

unreflective listening.

Non-reflective listening is listening without analysis (reflection), giving the interlocutor the opportunity to speak. It consists of the ability to be silent attentively. All you need to do is maintain the flow of your interlocutor’s speech, trying to get him to speak out completely.

clarification

Clarification is an appeal to the speaker for some clarification. The essence of this technique is that the listener, when a misunderstanding arises, a phrase is unclear, or a word is ambiguous, asks “clarifying” questions. This technique allows you to eliminate misunderstanding, as they say, “in the bud.” Clarification is useful in cases where we need to accurately understand the position of the interlocutor, when the slightest inaccuracy can lead to negative consequences; when a person speaks confusingly, does not make the necessary explanations, jumps from one thing to another, because clarification helps in this case to understand the essence of the story. Clarification also helps the speaker. “Clarifying” questions show the speaker that he is being listened to (which naturally gives confidence), and after the necessary explanations, he can be sure that he is understood.

paraphrasing

To paraphrase means to say the same idea, but slightly differently. This technique helps to make sure how accurately we have “deciphered” the interlocutor’s words, and to move on with the confidence that everything has still been understood correctly. Paraphrasing is an almost universal technique. It can be used both in business conversation and in personal communication.

summarizing

Summarizing is summing up the results. The essence of this listening technique is that in our own words we summarize the main thoughts of the interlocutor. A summary phrase is the interlocutor’s speech in a “collapsed” form, its main idea. Summarizing is fundamentally different from paraphrasing, the essence of which is to repeat every thought of the interlocutor, but in our own words, which shows him our attentiveness and understanding. When summarizing, only the main idea stands out from an entire part of the conversation.

reflection of feelings

Reflection of feelings is the desire to show the interlocutor that we understand his feelings. How pleasant it can be to talk with a sensitive interlocutor who shares our emotions and experiences, without paying attention to the content of the speech, the essence of which sometimes has no special meaning for ourselves.

Understanding Nonverbal Messages

Nonverbal communication is a non-verbal form of communication that includes gestures, facial expressions, postures, visual contact, timbre of voice, touch and conveys figurative and emotional content. Nonverbal communication is a type of communication without the use of words.

Observations have shown that in communication processes 60%-95% of information is transmitted through non-verbal communication.

Friendly Eyes: Even when you're just making casual conversation, someone who's close to you will often look at you, especially when you're talking. Psychologists use the expression “eating with your eyes” to describe this - it means looking continuously at another person, especially in his face, but not always making eye contact.

It is worth considering that, for example, women not only tend to “eat with the eyes” of their interlocutor more, but also have a more positive attitude towards the fact that they are looked at a lot. Men in general are relatively less likely to allow themselves to be looked at frequently, even as a sign of warmth and friendship.

Warm intonations: we always monitor the timbre and intonation of the voice as a means of expressing the emotional content of the words we hear, and in a conversation we can distinguish them from the meaning of the words themselves. The voice expresses positive things better than negative emotions, and you probably had to discover, based on intonation alone, that the other person liked you. By the way, scientists say that in this way it is easier to determine whether they are trying to mislead you or whether they are speaking directly and frankly.

Warmth of touch. Touching another person in a non-sexual way, say on the arm or shoulder, is a powerful means of conveying warmth and affection. When there is no reason that it will be perceived negatively, do not be shy about touching if it comes naturally to you. Those who know how to touch their interlocutor in conversation are usually perceived as sweet and attractive, but you need to be very attentive to the possible reaction of the other person.

Mirror reflection (positional echo) is another sign by which we can confidently say that two people get along well with each other. Having observed how people stand, sit, and move, you can notice their tendency to imitate each other so much that it seems as if they are one person reflected in the mirror. This process occurs at the subconscious level; it is based on a non-verbal message: “Look, I’m just like you.” By unobtrusively copying some of a person’s gestures, it is easier to win him over, calm him down and relax him.

Gestures and postures: it is very important for a person to properly control his body and convey, through facial expressions and gestures, exactly the information that is required in a given situation. Posture during a conversation means a lot: interest in the conversation, subordination, desire for joint activities, etc.

Table 1. The meaning of some gestures and postures

In many cases, body language can be called the language of friendship. However, there are situations in our lives when people’s gestures begin to mean the exact opposite. But many of us are not brave enough to say directly to another person's face that we are not happy to meet and want to be left alone. Therefore, it is worth learning to recognize negative signals.

Conclusion

What do we mean by the word “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just conveying information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is saying. Unfortunately, no one probably taught us the art of communication. Yes, of course, they explained to us how to write and read, but they did not teach us how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities independently, learning from the people who surround us (primarily parents). It is quite possible that you adopted the communication style of your parents as a child, but this manner or form of communication may not always be effective.

So how can you improve your communication with others?

In order for communication to be effective, contact must be established between us and our interlocutor. During communication, each of us wants to be heard and understood, for this reason, during the conversation, show respect for the point of view of the speaker. For effective communication, it is also recommended to speak at the same pace and volume, and using a similar position (standing or sitting) as your interlocutor. Remember that people love to be imitated.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is a very important component of communication. Only a small part of communication consists of actual words. This means that communication mainly consists of facial expressions and gestures. We also use nonverbal communication to show our response to what is being communicated to us.

Make sure you are understood correctly

After you have finished the conversation and provided certain information, be sure to make sure that you were understood correctly. To do this, just ask a few questions like “Do you understand what I actually wanted to say?” or a similar question.

React to information from your interlocutor