When parents properly raise their children, from an early age they teach them to take responsibility, to be responsible for their words and actions, to control deeds. In a word - to be an adult. This is good, but sometimes a person grows up and begins to obsessively follow the instructions of his parents, not paying attention to the fact that there should be a balance in everything.

Remember how we were taught: "If you want it to be done efficiently and on time, do it yourself." Hence the problem arises - a person tries to control everything. As a result, dissatisfaction with oneself and life.

Well, a person cannot control everything - the sun will rise without his control. Excessive desire to manage everything must be disposed of in the same way as unwillingness to take responsibility.

We will look at 8 reasons for the desire to control everything, and how you can get rid of it.

This item fits perfectly. A person gets used to the fact that he knows everything by “five”, and everyone else is content with triples. Everyone falls short of the status of a “guru”, so he better do all the work and be sure that the end result is done perfectly.

But you are not the smartest! There is always someone dumber, someone smarter.

distrust of others

Such a person cannot shift responsibility to someone. He just doesn't trust anyone. It seems to him that as soon as he gives the topic to another, he will definitely forget about it, break the deadlines, postpone it for later, etc.

It is very difficult to live without trust, but, unfortunately, delegation is not among the priorities of overly responsible people.

Suspicion

Such a person is sure that if he allows a grip of control, then everyone will immediately relax and make a fool of themselves. And then they completely forget to do it.

Such people start the morning by giving a million tasks to their household members.

"Go brush your teeth." And after 5 minutes: “Have you brushed your teeth?”. Along the way, it is imperative to check whether the washbasin remains wet, whether the cap from the tube of toothpaste is screwed on, etc. Total control of everything, because all households will definitely do bad things.

It's easier to do it yourself than to explain to others

Many mothers do not have enough time to tell and show their child how to put on tights, fasten a jacket and tie the laces with a bow. It takes a long time to learn, but the result is needed. It's easier to do everything yourself.

With this approach, the mother will have to deal with the child until retirement, and until the child's pension. As a result, the child will grow up dependent, and the mother will kill (if you add up all the time) a couple of years of her life to pull on tights.

Caring for loved ones

The desire to dictate to everyone how to live, what and when to do has received a special term - control freak. And there is no hidden word “care” in this phrase. There is no concern here. This is a suffocating feeling in which there is no warmth and love. There is pressure, edification and tugging on trifles. Everyone gets tired of this.

To truly care is to give freedom, to help, to share.

And not patronize until the other person realizes that he is helpless, hopeless and useless.

Let go of the grip and let the person make their own mistakes. Well, a child forgot a pen at home - let him get out at school. He won't forget her tomorrow.

Lots of things to do

The controller has to wake up and fall asleep not in the arms of her husband (wife), but with a plan of small things for today. After all, for them, the “case” is to pull the husband so that he does not forget the mobile phone at home, and the child so that he folds the briefcase. And there are thousands of such "cases" per day. It seems to the controller that if he pulled a person, then this is his business, which is done.

Feeling of self worth

Such a person cultivates a sense of dignity and indispensability. He does a sea of ​​deeds, which he then reproaches those around him. I did this and that, but you didn’t do that, and you missed that. He gets taller than others.

He rushes about with his indispensability and is sure that everyone should be grateful for such help.

So the mother-in-law can break into her daughter's house and rebuild everything in her own way, and squeeze out gratitude to herself for this. She will tell you what time the son-in-law should get out of bed, how the children should sit at the table, what to say, and the daughter should put carrots in the roast only after onions. All family members walk on the line and are afraid to cough in the presence of the mother-in-law. There is no life for everyone.

The controller is sure that if he hadn’t asked again at the door if the iron had been turned off, it would definitely not have been turned off, and the apartment would have burned down.

In principle, control is justified and it protects humanity from negative consequences, including from real disasters. It is not known what would have happened to humanity if vigilant people had not been on the alert.

Anxiety

Controller people always have an increased level of anxiety. They are always trying to anticipate certain situations that theoretically may or may not happen. They often worry in vain. And when faced with a situation in which they cannot control anything, such as flying on an airplane, they fall into fears and even phobias. Often those who are accustomed to take responsibility and answer for everything.

It is good when people-controllers are convinced that their participation is only an illusion, that their vigilant control is not able to protect loved ones from any troubles. It's bad when they don't understand.

There are different levels of control, and the initial stage is the right approach, however, as are the other stages up to the red mark on the anxiety chalet. The extreme degree refers to a nervous breakdown, this condition is also called. Such people will check the lights a hundred times and wash their hands many times before each meal. In this case, the help of a specialist is indispensable.

Loosen your grip

Try to gradually let go of the grip and deviate from the usual rules.

Delegate a small fraction of the tasks to subordinates, family members and friends. Follow them, but carefully. Make sure everything is fine.

The world will not collapse even if the husband forgets his phone at home. I forgot myself - I will get out myself. And the fact that you don’t drink him later for this will give him strength and faith in himself. Choose tasks small and unimportant. Do not immediately dump a pile of problems on fragile shoulders in order to shout out once again: “I knew it, you failed the case.”

Ask questions

Ask yourself a series of questions, such as: “Does total control really help you, or does it just make life more difficult?”. The answer does not have to be “yes” or “no”. Here, the pros and cons are more important. Write the answers in a notebook and understand the origins of these beliefs. Perhaps the roots go back to parental upbringing or environment (school, yard). Here is a sample list of questions to help you.

• What am I afraid of?
• What happens if I just stop being in control of this situation?
• Is this problem mine?
• If you “let go” of someone else’s task, will there be more free time?
• What do I get from total control?
• Is this what I really need?
• Do I understand that apart from death, nothing can be certain?

We dare to suggest that in the whole wide world there is not a single person who has never been lazy. After all, even a true workaholic at least once in his life gave himself a slack and spent the whole day doing nothing. But an isolated case is trifles, compared with chronic laziness, which simply needs to be fought. We tell you how.

self-hypnosis

This method really works. All you need is to force yourself to take on the most difficult and unpleasant work that you constantly put off until later. How to force? Yes, just tell yourself that you will work for 5-10 minutes and quit if you don’t feel like it. As a rule, when a business moves from a standstill, a person has a motivation to finish it as soon as possible and never remember it again.

Planning

Reward

For self-hypnosis to work, you need to promise yourself a reward for the work done. For example, you can treat yourself to a new thing, your favorite sweet, entertainment. But remember, the amount of remuneration should correspond to the amount of work - the more you did, the more you got. You can always come to the method when your existence turns into a lazy seal day.

Gradually, you will develop a conditioned reflex “work - prize” and, perhaps, the reward will no longer be needed, and you will start doing everything automatically.

Organize your space

Sort out the desktop - remove unnecessary items, put documents in folders, put books and magazines in their places. It is important that there is order around, otherwise it will distract you from work. In the end, you will do nothing and will only find excuses for yourself.

Splitting up

The method of splitting large tasks into smaller ones helps to tune in. For example, you need to do general cleaning, but laziness does not allow you to get down to business - divide it into small tasks and distribute it over a week (for example, today you clean the kitchen, tomorrow - the living room, on the third day - the bedroom, etc.). So, you will be less tired, and the cleaning will be better. The same can be done with large work projects, presentations, speeches, and the like.

Training

Some things you just need to accustom yourself to, so that they become a habit, and you do them with ease. For example, such matters include morning exercises, early rise, household chores, reading books, and compiling important documents. At the beginning it will be very difficult, but actions regularly repeated through force will soon not make you remind yourself.

Relaxation

At first glance, this is very strange advice, but it actually works. This, first of all, refers to laziness at work. Very often, from overwork, people begin to be capricious, lazy and put off everything for later. But after resting for a couple of weeks in another country (or in a boarding house), not remembering work and household chores, you will gain strength and recharge your batteries for another year. If you can’t take a vacation or go far away, you can unload and shake yourself up in other ways - go in for extreme sports or sign up for some interesting courses.

Change of activity

Often, laziness is associated with routine and monotony at work. When you do the same thing day after day, communicate with the same people, and there are no prospects for development, this results in laziness or depression. To cope with both of these conditions, you need to radically change the type of activity to a more interesting and lively one. Of course, this may not work out, but trying to radically change your life and find a job that will not seem like hard labor is still worth it (“Learning to quit the right way”).

The best definition of what productivity means in the 21st century was given as early as 1890. William James in his book “ Principles of psychology” formulated an important truth: “ My experience is what I agree to pay attention to”.

Your attention determines your experience, and experience determines your entire life. In other words, you must control your attention in order to control your life.

In the modern world, a mixed experience is more relevant than ever for us: we work at home and on the road, we are constantly distracted by smartphones, household chores. That is why controlling your attention is especially important today.

Working from home and want to stay productive? In the article "" you will find useful tips for the effective organization of the workflow.

attention management

In order to always maintain a high level of productivity and cope with stress, it is necessary to develop attention management skills.

Attention management is a practice designed to reduce distractions, maximize focus, and unlock your potential.

You must learn to control yourself, to determine when your attention begins to shift, and to direct it to the chosen activity in time. Understanding goals and priorities will help you stay focused.

Attention management will increase productivity and manage time effectively.

Passion and experience

Very often experience and actions do not match our aspirations. We set ourselves certain goals, but as a result, we are engaged in completely different things. This gap makes us disappointed in ourselves and in our decisions.

Have you always wanted to inspire your team and communicate with employees more often, but at the same time spend all day checking email and resolving conflicts? Or do you constantly miss deadlines and lose important customers, devoting most of your time not to fulfilling orders, but to secondary tasks?

Why don't we live the experiences we want and create the lives we dream of? Why is there this painful gap between who we want to be and how we spend our time?

If James discussed this issue back in the 19th century, then humanity has been experiencing a conflict of goals and values ​​for more than a century, with constant distraction.

However, there are far more distractions in the modern world than there were in the 1890s. We have internet-connected devices at our fingertips, offering a volume of communication and information that James could not have imagined. In today's world, there is a fierce competition for our attention.

In a crazy work rhythm, it is almost impossible to perform only the most significant tasks. Every day there is a new choice that determines the future experience.

How to make the right choice

Attention management will help you solve the problem of choice. This strategy helps fight distraction and prioritize.

To do this, first take control of external factors:

• Control Technology. Remember, they should help, not distract. Turn off alerts and notifications, they interfere most often. Whenever you work, try to turn off your phone and put it out of sight.
• Control the environment. Set boundaries, especially if you are working in an open space. Put on your headphones or put up a Do Not Disturb sign. If that doesn't help, try finding a quieter place to work, or arrange "distraction-free time" with co-workers.

But the main problem is not even external factors. We are constantly shifting our focus. For example, it is often not incoming messages that distract us from work, but the expectation of these messages. We are already so used to being distracted that we cannot concentrate on one task for a long time.

We are afraid to forget about small things, so we start doing them as soon as we remember. As a result, we want to send a document by e-mail, and then suddenly we find ourselves rereading incoming messages for half an hour. We want to find the answer to an important question right now and spend a few hours on the Internet. This is familiar to many.

Therefore, it is especially important to learn how to control internal factors:

• Control Behavior. Accustom yourself to complete concentration on one task. Give her all your attention until you get the desired result. Try to allocate at least a few hours a day to relax without gadgets. Start with 15-20 minutes and gradually increase the time.
• Control your thoughts. For most of us, this is the most difficult task. Learn to be aware of the moments when your thoughts deviate from the main focus, and bring them back. If you think of other tasks while doing your main job, just write them down so you can come back to them later. Do the same for any questions you have.

An attention management strategy does not guarantee that all distractions will be eliminated. But as soon as you start to realize that you are losing concentration, it will become much easier to deal with them. Feel free to change your life for the better, paying attention to what is really important.

Ecology of Life: Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D. in Industrial and Organizational Psychology at Clemson University, spoke about what prevents people from managing their own lives.

How to learn to manage your own life

Benjamin Hardy, PhD in Industrial and Organizational Psychology at Clemson University, said, what prevents people from managing their own lives.

Although in flight there is turbulence and other troubles, due to which the aircraft does not fly exactly to the target 90% of the time, the vast majority of flights arrive at their destination on time.

The fact is that the flight is subject to certain rules, in addition, the navigation system has some inertia, and, as a result, the aircraft's course has to be constantly adjusted. However, when this happens in a timely manner, nothing terrible happens. If the correction is not made in time, a catastrophe can happen.

And so in everything - the little things, if they are not taken into account, stick together into a snowball.Ask yourself a few questions:

How do you manage your life?

What kind of feedback do you receive?

How often do you check your navigation system?Do you have such a system at all?

What is your goal?How do you plan to achieve it?

Are you on course at the moment?If not, how long have you lost it?

• How do you know if you're following a course or not? How to minimize turbulence and other problems that cause deviations from the route?

1. Organization of life

I am rather sloppy and not organized enough in many areas, and I don't think I'm alone in this, because we are all busy people.

Keeping everything in order is very difficult. In addition, you may not need order in all matters. On the other hand, if you remove the roughness, it will become easier to move forward. After all, we are constantly wasting energy, and if we take on too much - physically or emotionally - it is more difficult to go.

In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey says that among our cases there are urgent, and there are important. At the same time, most people prioritize urgent but small matters (for example, it can be answers to emails or some everyday worries).

Few organize their lives to prioritize what really matters - education, health, relationships with a partner, travel, and their long-term goals.

No one but you will take care of your success - if you do not treat life carefully, then you simply are not responsible enough and do not deserve what you want to achieve.

Environment and Energy:

How is your house arranged?Is everything in order there or is it lying around anywhere, dirty or clean?

Do you have a lot of unnecessary things, such as clothes that you no longer wear?

If you have a car, is it clean or is it just another place to store junk?

Does the environment you live in make you feel good?

Does it replenish your energy or, on the contrary, drain it?

Finance:

Do you have extra debts?

Do you know how much you spend per month?

Are you earning as much as you want?

What is holding you back from increasing this amount?

Most people don't keep track of their spending, and some categories of spending, like food, can surprise you.

If the finances are not in order, then with any income, money may not be enough, and until you take full responsibility for this part of life, you will remain a slave to money.

Relations:

How do you rate your relationships with people? Is it a pleasant part of your life - or not?

Do you spend enough time on them?

Are you in an unhealthy relationship that has only been burdening you for a long time?

Are you sincere and honest in your dealings with people?

As with finances, people often go with the flow when it comes to relationships. But this is a very important part of life, which means that it is better to build it consciously.

Health:

Do you think about what foods you eat?

How does food affect other areas of your life?

Do you have an ideal body from your point of view? Is it healthy and lean enough?

Are you healthier now than three months ago?

Health is wealth, and if you spend all your time in bed, then what difference does it make how wonderfully organized your life is in other respects. At the same time, health is easy to start - start not getting enough sleep, using stimulants and eating low-quality food.

And the little things, as already mentioned, stick together in a snowball, and sooner or later it will catch up with you.

Soul:

Do you have meaning in life?

Are you resigned to life and death?

How much control do you have over your own future?

Death is not so terrible as, being on its threshold, to understand that you have never truly lived.

An orderly spiritual life allows you to understand what is worth and what is not worth wasting time on, figure out what is really important and what can be relegated to the background.

Each person has a moral vector that guides his behavior, albeit not always clearly defined. For example, most people strive to be honest and good. However, until you develop a system for yourself, you will continue to face internal conflicts and sometimes act contrary to your values.

Time:

How much of the time do you really control?

Maybe you're wasting time on things you don't like?

Does everything you spend time on bring you closer to your ideal image of the future?

Do you spend most of your time moving towards your own goals or someone else's?

Is there something extra in your life?

What part of the day do you waste?

What does your ideal day look like?

What tasks could you delegate or automate?

As long as you don't organize your time, it goes away.

For an organized person, time flows more slowly, richer, and he himself determines how he wants to fill this or that gap. Control time, don't follow it.

Drop everything and organize your life

Organized and aware of the circumstances (home environment, finances, relationships, goals and time) allows you to start building the future.

To get ahead quickly, you don't need to do more - first stop doing unnecessary things.

Let's say if you want to lose weight by giving up bad habits, you will achieve much better results than by starting to cultivate good ones.

Before exercising, give up junk food, because until you stop harming your body, every step forward will be followed by two steps back.

Before you focus on increasing your earnings, cut your expenses - cut out the frills and learn to be content with what you have. Until that happens, you will continue to spend whatever you earn (or more).

It is a question of responsibility and organization. Rather than striving to get as much as possible, it is better to learn how to manage what you have wisely. Imagine that your life is a garden. What's the point of planting trees without preparing the soil and pulling out the weeds?

Why do most people fail to succeed? They cannot organize their lives: they try to earn more money, increase productivity or find a new approach, but without organization, all this is in vain.

2. Plan for and invest in your future

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best moment is now.” - Chinese proverb

To achieve an image of an ideal future, it is imperative to take the various fundamental areas of life and put them in order.

Very few consciously plan their lives. It is striking how small a percentage of Americans invest money - for example, most millennials are afraid of long-term investments and the stock market. Most Baby Boomers, on the other hand, never invested systematically, but supported the dependence of the American economy on consumption.

But remember that you have complete power over your life - you just need to decide to take the reins of power into your own hands. What does it mean? This means fixing or ending a problematic relationship and learning to let go of what feels like a waste of time to you. Make up your mind immediately.

"If you don't plan for anything, you plan to fail!" - Benjamin Franklin

First of all, forget about the question "what to do" - you should be interested in "why".

“Why” is the source of your motivation, and “what” is only its expression in the form of specific actions. For example, my “why”: I want to help people understand their own lives and help them achieve their goals faster. The means can be anything - it can be blogging, raising children, studying, going to dinner, and so on.

Many people think that formulating their vision of the future means coming up with a precise plan for 20 years, but this is not so. The problem with this long-term approach is that sooner or later it will slow you down.

For example, Tim Ferris, instead of making a detailed plan, puts 3-6 monthly experiments on a topic that interests him at the moment. At the same time, he says that he has absolutely no idea what the result of his experiments will be, and this illustrates the futility of long-term planning. While we never know what doors will open for us, he wants to be open to all possibilities.

However, his "why" does not change.

When you actively create in collaboration with other people, the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts, so you can't plan everything. At some point, you will reach a level where your personal needs don't matter, because you will realize that with the help of others you can do things a thousand times more meaningful than alone.

Without expecting any definite result, you will be sure that everything will turn out for the best - such is the result of creativity and cooperation, and it exceeds the understanding and abilities of an individual. Human collaboration and synergy lead to innovation and ultimately move humanity forward. At the same time, the old rules are changing and the world is changing.

Invest in the future

Whenever you decide to give up immediate pleasure for long-term success, you are investing in the future. Most people don't succeed.

They are unable to purposefully invest resources in their finances, relationships, health and time. But, when you invest in yourself (and your future), you improve your future and present.

Thus, your life will get better and closer to the ideal image that you keep in your head.

3. Track results

Being organized and investing in the future is useless if you don't track the impact of your efforts. These are the most important aspects of life, and they need to be controlled.

It's hard, and if you've ever tried it, you've probably given up after a few days.

Meanwhile, research has repeatedly shown that when a behavior is monitored and evaluated, it dramatically improves. If you're not tracking results in the areas that matter most to you, you're probably off track, and if you were honest with yourself, you'd be surprised how out of control your life is. As James Barry, the author of the Peter Pan story, wrote:

“The life of every person is a diary in which he is going to write one story, and writes another; and his most miserable hour is the one when he compares the scale of what he actually achieved with what he was going to do.

But I want to please you:when you get together, make a plan, and start tracking results, the changes you want come quickly.

First of all, prioritize. As Jim Collins said in Good to Great:

"If you have more than three priorities, you don't have any."

Priorities are what your life is built around, they should reflect your “why”, and not vice versa. It can be:

1. Relationships that are important to you;

2. Business and finance;

3. Self-improvement (for example, health or efficient use of time).

You choose your priorities, but I promise that when they are chosen and you begin to treat them consciously, you will be able to manage them, become more confident in yourself, and life will become easier.

Simplicity and organization will enhance the quality of your life; there will be more responsibility, but responsibility is the same as freedom.

4. Prayer

Nowadays, people spend their days in a bustle. Fuss, bustle, bustle. But no matter how you fuss, if you go the wrong way, it will not help at all. You will make mistakes, get up and make mistakes again, and so on ad infinitum.

The poet Thomas Merton once said:

“A man can spend his whole life climbing the ladder of success only to find, when he reaches the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.”

It happens - we are drowning in a swamp of trifles and realize too late that the goals we were striving for were strangers.

Therefore, it is necessary to set aside a significant part of the time for prayer.- this will help you see more clearly what is happening to you, and open your mind to the possibilities that elude you while you are immersed in the hustle and bustle.

For example, a few days ago I prayed all night, thought a lot, listened to uplifting music, and wrote in my diary. And after a few hours, a brilliant idea came to my mind.

In addition, during this time I understood something about relationships that were important to me, and immediately wrote letters to people I thought about. The result was an amazing collaboration experience.

Our thoughts have a very great power, they control not only you, but also the people around you.. If you think well of someone, his life becomes better. That's why people "send positive energy" or pray for others - it really works.

Your thoughts create endless waves of consequences around you.

If you make regular time to pray, the power of your thoughts will increase and interesting things will start to happen - if the idea of ​​a miracle scares you, think of it as good luck.

Whatever you call it, if you spend part of your time reflecting every day, good luck will not keep you waiting.

For example, during my recent deep dive into myself, one of my favorite authors stumbled upon my blog. He retweeted one of my articles and wrote a private message, and now we have become friends and chat on the phone for hours.

If you are skeptical about these ideas, just give it a try. Why do you think almost all successful people practice these things in one form or another?

In addition to our world, there is another, higher one, and, having penetrated into it, you will receive unlimited possibilities.

And the only thing holding you back is your mind.

5. Move towards your goal every day

How many days ago was the last time you did something to move towards your goal?

If we do not make a conscious effort, life with its little things overwhelms us, leaving no time for self-improvement and movement in the chosen direction, and soon, having grown old, we will turn back and ask ourselves where the time has gone.

Writer Harold Hill said:

“If you keep putting everything off until tomorrow, someday you will find that you have only a lot of empty yesterdays left.”

If you have managed to organize, plan, learn to track results and accustom yourself to prayer, the rest will follow automatically - you will be focused on the right things and will be in the right state to accomplish your plan.

It is better to do such important things in the morning, when you have the maximum volitional resource.

And remember: nothing gets done on its own, and by the end of the day you will run out of steam and get bogged down in small things. There are always a million reasons to put off something until tomorrow, except that tomorrow never comes.

So here is your mantra: unpleasant in the first place. Start the day with the most important thing, and repeat tomorrow.

And, if every day you take a step towards the goal, very soon you will find that it is not as far away as you thought.published

How we want to control everything in our lives so that nothing could happen without our knowledge, approval and acceptance. The desire to keep life under control sometimes becomes manic, leads to constant tension, stress and mental disorders. As a result, a person is in fear every minute: “What if something happens”, he does not find a place for himself, he cannot relax and rest. The nervous system, like a stretched string, vibrates at the slightest touch, causing anxiety and anxiety. Such an emotional state usually leads to diseases that a person unsuccessfully tries to treat with pills prescribed by doctors. And the biggest paradox is that the more you try to control life, the more unplanned things happen, thereby forcing a person to be even more nervous.

In order to learn to trust life, let's first consider what stages of control there are:

1. Self control. How often do you control yourself? Are you worried about what others will think of you? Do you want to hide your weaknesses and seem better than you really are? People so often control their emotions, afraid to show their true feelings, that they soon begin to deceive themselves. They bury their feelings, desires, and weaknesses in the most secluded corner of the soul and then try their best to control themselves so that they do not inadvertently get out into the wild. All this comes from self-doubt, fear of “they don’t like me”, misunderstanding of one’s own value and uniqueness, rejection of one’s nature. Just imagine how many resources, how much strength and energy such people spend just to control themselves! If you recognize yourself in the description, finally allow yourself to be yourself! Do you like that your life, like yourself, is under your constant control? Love yourself for who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses, and stop worrying about other people's opinions. Believe me, they are busy trying to hide their shortcomings from your eyes, so your fear of judgment is just an illusion!
2. Control of other people. Can you entrust another person with a responsible task? Or do you doubt, worry and fear for the result? Do you want to make sure that the person correctly carries out the assignment you have given? If so, then you want not only your life to be under your control, but also the lives of those people who are in some way in contact with your life. And what about your children? Can you trust them to do anything themselves from start to finish? Or are you worried that they will make a mistake, fail, get burned? The desire to control others arises from the inability to trust people, from pride, which allows you to think that no one but you can do this task well, from striving for an ideal result, although you yourself are far from perfect. Until you stop controlling yourself, do not accept your shortcomings and flaws, you will not be able to trust other people.
3. Control over your life. A person who controls himself and all the people around him, consciously or subconsciously, strives to ensure that his whole life is under control. He calculates many moves in advance, tries to predict where the danger may come from, comes up with ways to deal with it if it does appear. He spends all his strength on establishing total control over everything that surrounds him. But being able to control everything is an illusion! We can not even control the processes occurring in our body! What about death? Without air we will die in two minutes, without water in a week, without food in a month. The desire to keep life under control only says that a person is an atheist who considers himself God. He sincerely believes that he is able to prevent difficulties in his life if he keeps it under control. Unfortunately, fate will present him with more and more difficulties, trying to refute his beliefs. The more he tries to control, the more the Higher Powers will show him that it is useless. Such resistance to the natural flow of life will sooner or later lead not only to a disorder of the nervous system, but also to physical illness. If you recognize yourself here, learn to trust life! Relax, all the same, what is destined to happen. We all came to this earth to work out karma, we ourselves chose the difficulties that will appear in our lives. Everything that happens in it is the choice of our soul and these events, even if they are negative, are necessary for our spiritual development. So why try to keep life under control?

With love, Yulia Kravchenko

If you have any questions while reading the article, you can ask me