That love is short and clear. What is love? Anthropology about love

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Love is a word that has flashed through every person’s head at least once. It either brings joy, frightens, or motivates.

The existence of love and its meaning has been debated for centuries. So what is love?

Poets and scientists tried to find an answer to this question. And we can say for sure that there IS an answer to this question - love is... in fact, it all depends on which side you approach this question from.

Different definitions of love

From a romantic's point of view: love is perfection

What is love to you? Do you think that love is worth it without disagreement? Do you think that partners should always understand each other? If you can explain love this way, then you are a true romantic.

You may open up, but it is still worth noting that love at first sight does not exist. In fact, to find love you need to work hard. According to Sally Connolly, a psychotherapist for 30 years, insisting on the idea of perfect love will only damage the relationship.

From a scientist's point of view: the essence of love lies in the sense of smell

If you love analysis, then perhaps your love lies in biology. There is even scientific evidence for the existence of love. Scientists from the University of Bern in Switzerland conducted a study based on the connection between our sense of smell and attraction to another person. They discovered that major histocompatibility complex(MCG) in human DNA (a region of the genome that plays a large role in the immune system and immune development) causes love for another person.

From a realist's point of view: love is like an ocean

For a realist, love is comparable to the ocean with its constant waves, ebbs and flows. This explanation of love is the most correct. It is difficult to give an exact definition of love. Loving and keeping love takes work, but the reward is a healthier, more fulfilling, and lasting relationship.

What is not love?

While the definition of love depends on how you look at it, there are a few specific things that definitely shouldn't be confused with love.

Falling in love is a feeling that occurs at the very beginning of a relationship. That love that keeps us awake at night, distracts us during the day and constantly invigorates us is not really love, but infatuation, which is very easy to confuse with love. Many of us fall into this trap. Are you asking yourself "what is love?" and then you convince yourself that the feeling you experience at the beginning of a relationship is love. If you think so, then your relationship will not last long, but true love lasts a long time.

Many people also confuse these two concepts. What's the difference? If you pay more attention to your partner’s appearance, if you often think about “bedroom communication,” then this is more passion than love. This is another trap that is easy to fall into, since we always hope for the best and convince ourselves of the existence of something that actually does not exist.

It is quite easy to ignore obvious gaps in a relationship, since it is very difficult to break up with someone you care about. If you confuse the concepts of passion and love, then you will get stuck in fantasies, instead of coming down to earth and finding true love.

These feelings can be very similar, and this can confuse you. This is because we may fall in love with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or feel like your romantic partner is your friend. We spend a lot of time with friends, so it's hard to imagine life without them.

A similar feeling arises in relation to our soul mates and the boundaries sometimes become blurred.

If you're confused about your relationship with someone, try paying attention to the chemistry and intensity of your feelings. In general, the stronger the feelings for another person, the more likely it is love rather than friendship.

Sometimes it seems to us that we are in love, but in fact, it is an emotional dependence. How to understand this? There are several questions to ask yourself.

Do you strive to idealize your partner? Are you very afraid of losing him or her? Is the relationship more important to you than the partner himself? If you answered “yes” to all of these questions, then you are in an emotionally dependent relationship, and that is not love. But don't beat yourself up over it. It is quite easy to become emotionally dependent, since the fear of losing a partner, as well as the desire to idealize him, are completely normal things.

These feelings can be experienced by people who are in romantic relationships, but sometimes we can take it too far. Remember, you belong to yourself just as much as your partner. Love allows us to be ourselves.

The theme of love has remained relevant for hundreds of years. There are many interpretations of this concept, each of which has both adherents and opponents.

But What does it mean to love a person? What is the “process” of love itself?

After all, few would argue that love is of great importance in everyone’s life, regardless of what emotions it is associated with.

What is this feeling?

How to explain what love is?

Love is briefly defined as inherent in man feeling of deep sympathy, attachment and desire for an object.

This feeling is purely intimate and selective in relation to the “object” of love.

Its presence in life is often perceived by a person as a kind of “indicator of happiness.”

From a scientific point of view

Scientists who have studied the concept of love from the point of view of biology and chemistry have come to the conclusion that its basis is nothing more than normal biochemical processes of the human body.

In particular, in the brain of a person in a state of love, phenylethylamine is actively produced - a substance that gives a feeling of omnipotence and “grown wings”, and oxytocin - a hormone that affects the male and female genital organs (as well as milk production in a woman during lactation) .

Anthropological scientists have come to the conclusion that during the period of passionate love, the active production of dopamine begins, a chemical substance that allows you to experience a feeling of the highest pleasure and satisfaction.

In addition, dopamine has a beneficial effect on certain areas of the brain, minimizing feelings of fear, worry, anxiety and suppressing negative emotions.

Evolutionary scientists view love as a tool for survival. They believe that it is this feeling that contributes to maintaining long-term relationships, uniting and supporting each other in order to withstand dangers and threats from the outside.

According to Freud

The famous psychologist Sigmund Freud was confident that the basis of absolutely any human attachment is a single source - sexual desire(libido).

He argued that the true core of so-called love is a feeling, the main goal of which is only sexual intimacy, completely excluding the spiritual principle.

In all of Freud's works one can trace skeptical and ironic attitude to love and confirmation of the idea that any form of feeling (friendly or loving), as well as any attachment (to parents, to homeland, to profession, etc.) has the same source - sexual.

Meaning in life

The presence of love in life allows a person to experience the whole spectrum the most tender, warm, exciting feelings and emotions.

Often, love becomes a powerful motivation for both external and internal changes: a person in love feels an incredible surge of strength, the ability to “move mountains” and “embrace the whole world.”

fades into the background irritability, aggressiveness and apathy, “revaluation of values” occurs. Life becomes harmonious, rich, filled with warmth, kindness and joy.

Psychology

Psychology views love as a combination of three components:

passion, which manifests itself in sexual attraction;
intimacy in the form of emotional closeness, help, trust;
obligations - mutual fidelity.

Also in psychology, the concepts of fruitful and unfruitful love are distinguished:

Fruitful(mature) love is a feeling based on mutual respect. It involves the manifestation of care, sincere interest, mutual knowledge, inspiration, pleasure and self-development.
Unfruitful(immature, selfish) love is a destructive feeling in which the relationship is overwhelmed with negative emotions associated with the strict control of one person by another and an obsessive desire to possess him completely.

How to love a person who loves you? Find out about this from ours.

Psychological criteria

Psychologists have concluded that true love always meets certain criteria:

What is it like?

love-passion who follows sexual instincts, completely devoting herself to the object of love and dissolving in him without a trace;
It is quite short-lived, because over a certain time it either develops into a different type of love or disappears altogether.
love-friendship, the basis of which is the spiritual component (mutual respect, common interests, values). This feeling occurs between friends or relatives.
love, which is based on tenderness, kindness, support and mutual understanding. It is a feeling that unites spouses, parents and children, brothers and sisters;
selfless love, which consists of complete self-sacrifice for the sake of a loved one;
self love, expressed in understanding and acceptance of oneself, satisfaction with one’s own personality. It is this type of love that is fundamental for its other types, since only those who are satisfied with themselves and experience inner harmony are capable of experiencing sincere feelings towards others;
love based on sexual attraction and flirting aimed at obtaining pleasure;
love is pragmatic- a feeling controlled by the mind and based on obtaining self-interest and benefit;
love-mania- a feeling closely related to jealousy to the point of obsession.

What is better: to love or to be loved? find out right now.

What is love?

Love- this means disinterestedly, with pleasure and joy, taking care of a loved one, being attentive to his moods, desires, events and incidents in his life.

Loving “quality” is an activity, it is work that needs to be learned and constantly improved.

Ability to love Is this an innate or acquired quality? There is no consensus on this issue. Some are sure that the ability to love is an exclusively innate feeling, and every person, taking his first breath, already a priori knows how to love.

Others argue that the ability to love is an experience acquired over years of mental, spiritual and heartfelt work.

These opinions are unanimous only in that temperament, upbringing, living conditions and clear example allow maximize and improve This is a skill in a person.

Concept of feelings between man and woman

Love for a guy/girl is a combination of love and passion leading to sexual satisfaction.

Over time, they usually fade into the background, being replaced by devotion, compassion, and support. Such love is also called romantic and is designed to create and maintain favorable conditions for procreation.

Love relationships are relationships between partners that go through five:

Psychologist about the types of love in relationships between a man and a woman:

What is falling in love?

Is falling in love an emotion or a feeling?

Falling in love is a strong feeling that has a positive connotation and is directed towards an object.

At the same time, the consciousness of a person in love narrows so much that he can evaluate the object of his feelings exclusively with a “plus” sign, seeing absolutely no shortcomings in character and appearance without noticing disagreements and contradictions in relationships.

At the same time, any positive quality becomes especially significant and valuable.

The condition is unstable, existing in the form of a certain phase: it can subside, end and reappear. When it ends, love can “reincarnate” into another feeling, for example, love.

Difference

The main thing is their emotional depth.

Love- superficial, based on external attractiveness, idealization of the object and “conceiving” of its positive qualities, which in fact do not exist.

While Love allows you to accept a person as he is (without embellishment), along with his strengths and weaknesses.

Love or infatuation? Find out from the video:

True love

True love- this is the final stage of love (after falling in love, satiety, alienation, patience, selflessness and friendship).

As a rule, it arises after years of living together, when partners have learned to respect each other, overcome conflict situations, give in and sacrifice their own interests for the sake of the family.

It is with such stable and harmonious relationships that spiritual intimacy arises between two people.

What does it mean to truly love?

First of all, this means:

understand and accept each other for the sake of general peace;
realize that each individual is a full-fledged person, while together they are one whole;
be able to negotiate, even if there are disagreements;
resolve issues and come to a “common denominator” without being demanding or dissatisfied with each other.

What actions characterize her?

As you know, love determined by actions, namely:

showing concern (even then, they didn’t ask for this for a year);
an expression of sincere interest in all areas of a loved one’s life;
readiness to help and support at any time;
respect for the personal space and interests of the partner.

How is love born and dies? Symptoms of feeling and psychology:

Definitions

Love frustration- this is the state of a person who is in a relationship that brings only negative emotions and feelings (disappointment, anger, pain).

Love addiction - This is a painful manifestation of love with an obsession with another person, causing pain and suffering.

Euphoria of love - this is a strong emotional uplift and a feeling of complete well-being due to the manifestation of love;

Neurotic love - this is love without reciprocity, clouded by anxiety and the inability to openly express one’s feelings.

Selfless love- this is accepting a person no matter what (shortcomings, circumstances).

Manic love - a feeling on the verge of losing reason, in which a person is ready to do everything so that the object of his love does not go to anyone but him.

Physical love - This is the desire for physical intimacy (unity) with a loved one, which involves not only sexual contact, but also the opportunity to see, hear and feel it.

Altruistic love- a high feeling that brings satisfaction simply from the fact that the object of love exists, even if it does not reciprocate.

Latent love- this is hidden love that a person cannot (or does not want) to show.

Pathological love- uncontrolled and repeated manifestation of attention and care towards a partner, in which he feels a complete loss of his own freedom.

Passionate love(or romantic) is a feeling of complete absorption of partners with each other, accompanied by extremely strong feelings (joy, anxiety, tenderness, sexual desire).

Love is:

Love is an illusion from a person in whom it only seems that you love.

Love is a myth for those who have never experienced any of the stages of this feeling.

Love is passion, an ardent desire accompanied by strong emotions.

Love is affection, intimacy and devotion based on sympathy for another person.

Love is a habit which over time becomes the basis of a stable and fulfilling feeling.

Love is care, attention and respect, caused by a sincere desire to protect a loved one, help him, and do something pleasant for him.

Disease

Some psychologists tend to equate love (namely falling in love) with painful condition with the following symptoms:

constant and obsessive thoughts about the object;
painful, acute need for reciprocal feelings;
euphoria with reciprocity;
hyper-focus on the object, which leads to ignoring events and problems in one’s own life;
experiencing strong sexual attraction to an object.

Mental disorder

American doctors define love (in particular, falling in love) as acute mental disorder.

The basis for this was an examination of people in love, during which changes in their nervous system were found similar to those that occur in patients with a manic state.

At the same time, “patients” often experience general condition disorders in the form of:

As a rule, the acute stage of the “disease” lasts no more than six months, gradually turning into either a chronic sluggish form, or a latent form of quiet waiting, or spontaneous recovery.

Do I need treatment?

Is love a disease that needs to be cured? If love, like a disease, brings only suffering, disappointment and negative emotions into life, there is only one way out - to be treated. Moreover, it is quite difficult to do this on your own.

It is better to immediately contact a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist, who will help analyze feelings and heal the soul using special techniques, psychoanalysis and even hypnosis.

Sick love - what is it?

The sick name is love-dependence, which brings only pain and suffering. First of all, it is characteristic of people with low self-esteem who did not receive enough parental warmth and attention in childhood.

Main feature a dependent person is a complete lack of love and respect for himself, and suffering is defined as the only “proof” of love for someone.

Love is a huge range of feelings, each of which is characteristic of a certain stage of the relationship between partners.

Constant companions of true, sincere love is joy, satisfaction, inner peace and confidence. Love involves caring, respecting each other's interests and reaching a compromise in any situation.

What is love? About myths and misconceptions in this video:

What is "Love"? Love - 💏 - is a chemical reaction, a spiritual impulse, a desire to be “like behind a stone wall,” or maybe a habit or affection?

There is no single definition of love in psychology. After all, each person can interpret the definition of this feeling in his own way - this is a certain attitude that sets a behavioral model of the partner’s relationship to the world around him or the object of love.

Love is a foolish thing done together.
Napoleon I Bonaparte

Love: Definition from a psychological point of view

There are three completely contradictory interpretations of the concept of “Love”:

Love is the state of falling in love- a disorder akin to neurosis, when attention is weakened, vigilance is lost, a person becomes “detached from this world.”
Love is an internal drug when the brain releases hormones of pleasure, dopamine, sensation and serenity.
Love is a painless habit, the human need to feel loved, to give these wonderful emotions to others, to be happy and satisfied.

Psychologists say that true love is similar to love for a child, an indicator of a pure soul, dedication to the end, care and renunciation, this cannot be understood with the head, only felt in the heart.

Love is an objective concept, for one person to love is to give gifts, for another it is to sympathize and empathize, and for a third it is to give one’s life without delay. It is sometimes very difficult to take and explain this feeling in words.

What are the stages of love?

In total, there are 7 stages that love goes through; they may not occur to everyone, but they do occur:

Love– a short period when lovers are immersed in a state of euphoria, they notice only all the good things, do not see each other’s negative sides, but everything quickly ends when people start living together or planning a wedding, or encounter everyday troubles;
Satiation– lovers begin to “evaluate their love” differently, coexistence begins, which can lead to separation or unity;
Disgust- a real test for lovers, they become selfish, reciprocity disappears, without this stage it is impossible to step into another world, true awareness of love;
Humility– lovers begin to look at each other adequately, accept their soul mate as a separate person, with all the vices and shortcomings, a period of self-improvement, improvement and mutual understanding begins;
Service– people are completely immersed in the world of bliss, the personification of wisdom and piety, they support each other in any endeavors;
Friendship– accepting each other as a loved one, lovers devote more time to their other half, get to know themselves again, build new relationships full of madness;
Love– partners have come a long way, learned to appreciate and love truly, now they perceive each other as a single whole, without mercantile attitudes and cunning tricks!

Do you want to give a memorable gift to your beloved husband/boyfriend? Give him the book "" - he will be delighted with such a gift, believe me!

It is especially important to realize the fact that love does not ask for anything - this feeling gives warmth, spiritual harmony and pleasure. If a blind love addiction arises, then you need to get rid of it, no matter how difficult it may be at first!

Such feelings force the partner to be with the chosen one all the time, to be jealous, to forgive even in the most difficult cases, which will ultimately lead to the destruction of the individual and even fatal death.

What do famous psychologists say about the definition of the word “Love”?

Sternberg: The results of combining the components of love

Sternberg believed that this feeling can carry an objective load in three semantic components: attraction, passion and responsibility to oneself and the other half.

Ideal love is one in which all these components merge together, feelings become strong and flammable!

What does E. Fromm say about the definition of love?

He considers love to be a momentary feeling that appears in moments of great joy; the motivation for feelings can be fear of loneliness, and in rare manifestations - sadism.

According to E. Fromm, love is like a commercial deal, to love is to take and give to the fullest, open up, dedicate your secrets and let them into your innermost world of love and experiences. Be strong, don’t let feelings go by themselves, control the process, no matter how paradoxical it may sound.

The first violent outbursts of emotions are replaced by brave and strong feelings that help keep the raft of love afloat, and not allow it to break on the rocks of enmity, hatred, constant quarrels and scandals.

A.V. Petrovsky argues differently

He describes love as external manifestations of feeling, accessible to everyone to observe. The way a person changes outwardly when a feeling of attachment to another appears, he renounces his previous life and begins to commit crazy actions. Love is conditioned by intimate attractions and presupposes sincerity and openness to each other.

If there is a lie, then this is not love, but the unscrupulous exploitation of someone else's trust, fraudulent actions, sometimes thoughtless. Feelings should be replaced by actions, but at the same time testify to the same thing. If I love, then it manifests itself in all relationships.

Video: Modern psychologists about what “Love” is

Psychologist Natalya Tolstaya

Love is like a chemical reaction

Lovers like to be together, the production of various hormones is triggered, which lead to crazy actions, euphoria, insomnia, loss of appetite, and a change in the reality around.

Love makes you crazy, the brain begins to produce excess amounts of dopamine, and a state of satisfaction appears. A person commits thoughtless actions and is sometimes unable to adequately evaluate the result obtained.

These “aggressive” hormones do not live for a long time, the phase of madness quickly ends, and love passes into another metamorphosis - affection, understanding, trust, unity, etc.

The desire to fall in love is not love. But the fear of falling in love is already love.
Etienne Rey

The love hormone - oxytocin, plays a key role in the psychology of behavior of lovers, as they say, if you feel good, then I feel great! Love is the complete surrender of oneself in exchange for the truth of the feelings of another.

This chemical element helps build relationships, binds families and friends with bonds of love, and helps curb the true feeling inside. Such a change in the psychology of behavior changes life for the better and creates a feeling of trust in others. This method can treat neurosis in patients.

What is first love?

Are these vivid memories or a lesson for life? Many argue that first love is doomed to fail. Parents do not give importance to this hobby of their children; adults often secretly sigh when remembering their first love, sometimes considering it the truest and most sinless.

The first relationship between a man and a woman can be both negative and positive! The most important thing is to learn the right lesson from this situation, not to dwell on the bad, to move forward and build new happy relationships without looking back.

Psychologists say this about this:

First love is the first personal relationship between a woman and a man, which is based on contact actions on the part of each other, the first emotions are actively manifested - feelings of love, hatred, anger, jealousy, resentment;
the lover remains alone with his experiences, tries to make an adequate decision on what to do next, sometimes the first experiences are so strong that they do not allow the lover to step over this period of life and move on to a new relationship;
in first love there are only feelings, all definitions of status fade into the background (material wealth, car, real estate, etc.);
lovers cannot accept the circumstances that arise sensibly, sometimes they cannot cope with the wave of surging experiences;
The meaning of first love is to learn to manage emotions, communicate with the opposite sex, and create your own system of behavior for the successful completion of the next relationship.

We always believe that our first love is our last and our last love is our first.
George John White-Melville

The first love can form strong ideas about the feeling of love in the future. It is very important to take a positive emotional experience out of this situation, and not ruin your personal life with painful memories.

There is often an illusion that if you return your first love, then your youth will return with it, but you need to live in the present, not the past, because only here and now can you change something in your life, become truly happy and successful.

What myths about love “erase” the knowledge of psychology

Is love at first sight real?

Love at second, third... sight can be bright, rich, inspired and unique. Psychologists often consider situations when a person believes that this is his real soul mate, and then meets another, and the world turns upside down again.

The object of love is one for all years and all centuries!

The first love seems to be the only one, but then the second comes, and feelings are ignited again... In the world, 25% of suicides occur due to the fact that many rivals compete for the favor of “one love.” So for whom is she really the only one?

In a truly loving heart, either jealousy kills love, or love kills jealousy.
Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky

Every person has a soulmate, the main thing is to spot her in the crowd of numerous passers-by and not miss her, so as not to break the agreement of eternal and happy love.

You cannot live in a world where there is no love, when the other half is completely indifferent to you, because the time will come when true love will appear, and one of the partners will remain “overboard”, in a sea of tears and sad illusions.

There are at least a million options for meeting your soulmate; perhaps this requires changing your place of residence, social circle, work, study, but the choice will be made, and the probability of a successful one is quite high.

Does eternal love exist?

Psychologists do not make loud statements on this matter, and the thought of a lover can live for a long period, but the foundations of family life can change these ideas. The higher the need for love, the more acute this problem is.

Most often, love is interpreted as respect, trust, understanding of each other; often a person falls in love several times, because he was not lucky enough to find his ideal. In fact, not everything is so simple, you need to move forward, not dwell on imaginary fantasies and erroneous ideals.

It is difficult to reason sensibly under the influence of the love hormone, but you simply must draw a conclusion and move on with your life!

Is it possible to get married without love?

Is there always love when creating a marriage, but it is worth noting that the intensity of passions also cannot guarantee a strong relationship and a successful union. So where to look for the golden half? How to become happy without love?

Yes, marriage without feelings is sad, but on the other hand, as the French novelist Beigbeder noted, love lasts for three years, and after that a trusting contact is established, a relationship that will keep the couple together or lead to separation.

Problems in the field of love can arise due to the fact that everyone interprets this feeling in their own way. In psychology, there is no one correct solution to how to define love; there are many varieties of it.

Perhaps today you will love your other half as a brother/sister, friend, and tomorrow that flaming feeling will come that will allow you to create a strong and happy family for many years. Love will be glorified as a divine feeling, a bright transformation of life, driving you crazy.

Love is joy, understanding each other without words, mutual satisfaction, in this case we can talk about strong further family ties, and the birth of children will become a magical unity of this marriage.

"Imaginary" love

If relationships between people arise against the background of internal emptiness, or the replacement of one partner by another, then they can be called dependent, and most often doomed to a sad existence.

This is a serious psychological problem, not everyone can bear such responsibility, in such relationships there is no free choice, most often such individuals remain lonely and unhappy for the rest of their lives.

Don't be afraid of the smart ones. When love comes, the brain turns off.
Elena Zhidkova

“Feelings are the element of actions that are not subject to anyone!”
In such a field, betrayal, mistrust, suffering, meanness and the destruction of such a wonderful feeling as love can arise.

You need to learn to love and be happy without any conditions, just as a mother loves a child; she plunges headlong into this state and does not set any selection criteria for herself.

If there is emptiness in your soul, then you first need to understand yourself why this happened, and not fill it with someone based on rash actions. Until a person loves himself and accepts himself with all his shortcomings and contradictions, it is unlikely that anyone will do this for him.

But there is still love!

This boundless and inspiring feeling helps to fight many difficulties, solve serious problems, create the comfort and coziness of a family nest, give birth to children, take care of others, and so on.

Love is not chosen, it comes once and for all! And not only psychologists think so. What do you think about such a feeling as love?

What is love?
Where is the answer to the question?
It's joy and pain
These are droplets of tears.

Waiting for steps
And the warmth of someone's hands.
Neither friends nor enemies,
Just a knock, a heartbeat.

Give without the rest
Everything you have.
And then just wait
Wait and believe, loving.

Never ask
Don't regret anything.
If necessary, forgive.
To die for him.

Or maybe live, just live
And suffer again and again.

Let's look at the rather simple question of what love is, about which so much has been said. Yes, of course, it is different for everyone, but the symptoms and mechanisms are the same for everyone. It is absolutely certain that love is sympathy and attraction, an unbearable desire to be with someone. It is clear that love obscures the eyes with a thick, thick pink veil when a person in love does not notice any shortcomings in his beloved at all. Love is a feeling that helps you survive any troubles. If your loved one supports you, then you can overcome any obstacles, nothing is impossible for you, you are not afraid of anything and are capable of anything.

There are people who can experience the feeling of love for a short time. But it only seems to them that they love, in fact it is just sympathy, passion, emotions. True love knocks you down like a good flu. A person in love loses control over his emotions and actions, because love burns with the brightest fire in him.

So, let's highlight the most important things:

Love is when you need to be together all the time, it’s difficult without each other, you are able to give your life for another without hesitation, you are ready for the craziest acts.

Love is something that cannot be understood with the head, but is felt only with the heart.

Love is a disease. When a person is in love, he actually becomes an idiot and blind.

What is love from the point of view of scientists?

What chemical processes occur in our body at different stages of love? That is, what is really happening while we are going crazy?

First phase

This is the very beginning of love, this is “falling in love.”
In general, the formula for falling in love is this. When you see a potential partner, you immediately recognize it by a fairly small combination of observable signs. If it also turns out that the partner himself is not against the connection, then the inextinguishable image of “I want a connection with him” lights up in my head. At night, this image provokes dreams, where everything that was not thought out during the day is played out “and if everything had gone like this...”. During the day, all thoughts are occupied with your object and everything is colored by it, joy, stress, forcing you to be the best you can be. The signs of the initial stage of love are the same for everyone:

The pupils are slightly dilated, the eyes shine, breathing mainly through the mouth and a little deeper than usual.
- The pulse is rapid, it is difficult to fall asleep in this state.
- Body temperature and blood pressure are also unstable.
- The secretion of skin secretions changes (becomes more active). And they have a special, not very distinguishable, but attractive smell.
- Appetite decreases. The reserves are used up very quickly - the fat layers decrease in size, the figure is “rapidly approaching the ideal.”
- There is a temporary improvement in health, immunity increases, chronic ailments recede for a while, venous outflow may improve, so that there is enough strength for courtship and its successful completion and so that nothing distracts once again until the process is completed.
- There is a feeling of lightness in the body and special clarity and clarity of consciousness, but the ability to concentrate is practically zero.
- Periodically (several times a day) a feeling of causeless happiness emerges. However, there is a reason, and it is quite significant - a new portion of the hormone has entered the blood, which would not be happiness.

Additional adrenaline is released into the blood, which gives tirelessness and the ability to do the most extravagant acts, characteristic of all lovers.
If events develop unfavorably (the object of love has no interest), the chosen one may even become the subject of aggression (did not appreciate, did not understand).

Amphetamine production. At this stage, it is produced in huge quantities and keeps lovers in a state of euphoria. Moreover, the body quickly gets used to it and requires increasingly larger quantities. Euphoria and collapse of mood, a sea of energy spent on quarrels and reconciliation. For lovers at this stage it is already necessary to “be together.” One session of sex makes you forget any previous quarrel.
Why is this necessary? In order to settle relationships, to figure out who is in charge of what, who is not satisfied with what, during this period everyone defends their interests. In short, two people meet and learn to live together.

Phase four

This is a critical period in the relationship. As a result of increased production of dopamine (the hormone of creativity and risk), the severity and criticality of experiences decreases - it helps not to be afraid of new things, to take risks. All this is necessary in order to agree to closeness with another person and to his presence in one’s own life, to the ability to make serious changes.
Based on the results of this phase, a person comes to a solution to two important questions:
— Is it possible to live together with this partner?
- Should I maintain the relationship?

Phase five

In the presence of a partner, the body produces endorphins, which provide feelings of peace, tenderness, and even and noticeable pleasure from the presence of another.
The beauty of endorphins is that the body does not get used to them, they are like sugar, when it is too sweet, it is no longer tasty, but that’s all. Therefore, they enter the blood smoothly. An important point: this phase is practically unlimited in time. Those who manage to stay in this phase are terribly lucky.

Final phase.

The final phase usually occurs after 18-30 months. Hormonal levels return to normal, people see each other as they are. A couple that has been created all this time, either already has enough in common to live together without this chemical support, or people understand that they can’t find anything interesting in each other.

These are the things

This is the case from the point of view of chemistry, psychology and common sense. In short, we can say exactly what love is. This is a deep, selfless attachment to another person under the influence of various hormones.
Fortunately for us, all these complex processes happen unnoticed, and that’s the beauty of it. Enjoy love, fall in love, build relationships, meet, fight and make scenes. Just don't do anything super stupid. If it seems to you that your loved one is the only one in the world and you will not be happy with anyone else, remember - this is not true. Your chosen one or chosen one, people from among a huge multitude, there is someone better and worse than them, and with a thousand people you will be much happier. Don’t make it a tragedy if something doesn’t work out, it’s just hormones, in fact, there are many wonderful people around you with whom you will experience much stronger feelings. If love didn’t work out this time, it’s only because you’re already waiting to meet a more suitable person. And nature wants you and him to be together.

Makarov A.I., family psychologist

So many geniuses have puzzled over this question that we can only rely on their experience and trust our own instincts.

Scientists have defined love in various ways throughout the history of mankind: a chemical reaction, an incurable disease, mental illness, mental disorder, “the curse of the gods.”

According to statistics, not every person is given the opportunity to know what love is and experience this magical feeling. However, if you are lucky enough to fall in love, then you are unlikely to confuse this state with something else.

The Bible says wisely and very precisely about what love is:

"Love…

- does not look for his own,

- not jealous

- doesn't get irritated

- is not exalted

- thinks no evil

- not proud

- long-suffering

- believes everything

-never stops"

This is perhaps the most accurate description of all times and peoples. Love...what is hidden in this word? A unique phenomenon, a miracle, a gift...even in our crazy world.

People who meet love do many strange things, begin to write poetry, look for another side of life that they had not noticed before, and learn to live in a different reality. Career, money, prestige, a calm, well-fed existence - all this can become secondary, unimportant, distant and unnecessary, compared to the desire to be close to your loved one.

Love or infatuation?

In youth, many people confuse love with falling in love. The second is an easy version of sympathy, passion, inventing an image that is far from reality. Falling in love disappears as quickly as it began. And love is a deeper feeling. It changes a person’s inner world so much that he begins to do things that are completely out of character for him. It ennobles, changes the picture of the world, destroys what previously seemed the only correct and unshakable thing. If you want to understand your emotions, understand whether it is love or falling in love, pay attention to the nature of this feeling.

The most important sign of love is its creative nature: the one who loves is always the giving side. Feelings, care, emotional comfort, all kinds of benefits - all this is aimed at a loved one. Love is the desire to sacrifice the last for the well-being of the one whom the heart strangles. If you want to “take” from a relationship, you demand giving, then there is no love here. Test yourself, this is a good test to understand your feelings. There is a wise Chinese proverb that falling in love is when you pick a flower and take it with you to admire, and love is when you water this flower. A very clear example.

That is why the situation “if you love me, prove it...” is exactly the case when there is no smell of love.

It is typical for lovers not to notice the shortcomings of a loved one, to idealize him, even being well acquainted with him. This is precisely the most dangerous thing in terms of creating a new family; lovers, intoxicated by romantic “poison,” hastily create families and have children. A little time passes and both people understand that they are completely strangers, they have different views on life, different goals, and incompatible characters. This is a classic situation, but most people fall into this trap, their lives are ruined, and children suffer.

Love is not endless, passion and romance pass, the next phase begins, where respect appears and the relationship matures. Love is not only joy and pleasure, it is working on relationships, rethinking your life principles, responsibility and healthy self-sacrifice.

Unrequited love is also love!

Love does not always unite two people into one. An unrequited feeling, at first glance, is a source of suffering and torment. Someone received a refusal, someone prefers to live in ignorance, realizing that the answer to his feelings will not please him, someone has learned to rejoice even in such a one-sided feeling.

It is not necessary to go deep into history to get proof that unrequited love is a source of inspiration, a generator of creativity, a stimulus for change, transformation, and transformation of everything around us. There are millions of examples: the best works were written by those who were rejected, the most majestic sculptures are dedicated to those whom the creators loved. And what is love if not a generator of the best and most brilliant on earth.

If life has decreed that you are far from your loved one, your feelings remain unrequited, or you never have the courage to confess your love to your other half, then you should take a creative position. This will save you from painful days, months or even years. Live, breathe, read poetry, draw, create - God gave you the happiness of experiencing this holy feeling, which means you are the chosen one. Perhaps a feeling that is not destined to be shared will become a starting point for you to a new life, will give you an understanding of what is important and what is secondary. Develop, conquer new heights, give people goodness and joy. You don’t have to wait for love, you need to give it, become its source: start this magical relay race and life will give you surprises and unexpected wonderful changes.