Is it possible to receive communion on Forgiveness Sunday? Archpriest Konstantin Kobelev. Forgiveness Sunday. Traditions Communion on Forgiveness Sunday

On the last day of Maslenitsa week, which in 2016 falls on March 13, there is Forgiveness Sunday. Why is it called that, who can and should ask for forgiveness and forgive, readers "AiF-Rostov" told rector of the Church of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Loznoy farm, Tsimlyansky district, priest Roman Nikhaev.

"AiF-Rostov":- What kind of day is this - Forgiveness Sunday?

Priest Roman Nikhaev:- This is a Christian holiday, the last day before the start of Lent. It is also the last day of Maslenitsa (Syropust), which has more ancient traditions.

On the day of Syropust, liturgies take place in all Orthodox churches. Parishioners listen to the reading of the Gospel, which talks about the forgiveness of sins, fasting and laying up heavenly treasures. And everyone asks each other for forgiveness, including the priests and parishioners.

- What are the roots of this day, why is it called that?

The church history associated with the name is as follows. Egyptian monks, before the onset of Lent, in order to strengthen the feat of prayer and prepare for the bright holiday of Easter, dispersed one by one through the desert for all 40 days of fasting. The monks understood that not each of them was destined to return, so they asked each other for forgiveness for all voluntary or involuntary offenses. And of course, they themselves forgave everyone from the bottom of their hearts, so that, at the end of Lent or in the face of death, they could appear before the Almighty with a clear conscience.

Hence the name of Forgiveness Resurrection - to be reconciled and forgiven with everyone, and thanks to this - with God. Over time, the tradition passed into the worship of the entire church.

- And even elevated to the rank of a holiday...

Yes, I would say that it is on Forgiveness Sunday that the rite of forgiveness is greatly strengthened by the fact that now it is a day of universal forgiveness, not only church forgiveness. This is due to the active return of the people to faith. Today, with the presence of technology and the Internet, everything, of course, is modernized - people ask for forgiveness by phone, on Skype, send SMS to each other, but involuntarily they think about both sin and the soul.

- What should or should not be done on this day, what rituals are typical for it?

On this day, all Orthodox Christians ask each other for forgiveness - in order to begin fasting with a good soul, focus on spiritual life, cleanse their hearts of sins in confession and meet Easter - the day of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ - with a pure heart.

By the way, the rite of forgiveness exists in itself, not only in Syropust. In monasteries they pray in the evening before going to bed every day. After prayer, they confess their sins to God.

- Is it possible on this day, as they say, to have a drink and a snack - after all, it’s a holiday?

Forgiveness Sunday falls on Shrovetide (cheese) week, when the conspiracy takes place - as if eating for future use before Lent. But you can no longer eat meat. Including March 8, Tuesday (smiles).

On this holiday, Orthodox Christians usually say to each other the following words: “Forgive me, and I forgive you,” and in response they hear: “God will forgive!” So can only believers or atheists also ask for forgiveness?

I am sure that in difficult times, when things are hard, everyone remembers God, even atheists. And then, who will forgive if there is no God?... Say any words, as long as they come from the heart.

Everyone can and should ask for forgiveness. Because we, like those monks, do not know what will happen tomorrow. And as the holy fathers said: “Remember the hour of death and you will never sin.”

-Who should you ask for forgiveness from first?

Everyone we could have offended, voluntarily or unwittingly, and don’t even know about it. But, first of all, it’s hard to ask someone, because pride doesn’t allow it. It’s easy to ask family and friends, but try asking someone who offended you. I know cases where just the word “Sorry” was enough to reunite a family and change a person’s whole life.

Stage one: don't make yourself an enemy

The most correct way to deal with enemies is to have no enemies at all. The first stage of achieving peace with bullies is to avoid situations where people become bullies. Most often, enmity between people is created by sin. Therefore, you need to be attentive to yourself, analyze your behavior, and not get lost in emotions. If you feel increasing tension in your relationship with someone, try to be quieter at these moments, remain silent, be patient, if possible, try to just pause in communication.

Stage two: when in conflict, don’t get personal

But there was not enough strength to hold on to the first stage, and a conflict occurred. It should be noted that even the Lord Jesus Christ himself had conflicts with people. Sometimes without direct conflict it is impossible to live on earth, preserving your views and beliefs, your soul. Sometimes situations really arise when you need to openly stand up for the truth, without being afraid to confront evil.

But at the same time, it is necessary to separate the person and his actions and confront not the person, but his wrong actions. Condemn the sin, but not the sinner. Sin itself does not need justification; it is even dangerous: if we stop condemning sin, we may lose understanding of the boundaries between truth and untruth.

Not judging a person does not mean weak-willedly allowing him to continue to commit unsightly acts.

Non-judgment has nothing to do with condoning. Moreover, if a person persists in his sin, communication with him should be broken.

Stage three: hand over the offender to God

Now the conflict has been resolved, but a rift has appeared in the relationship with the person - resentment. The thirst for revenge burns within us, openly or secretly. At this stage, it is most correct not to seek such opportunities, not to stand up “for justice” - but to completely surrender your offender into the hands of God. If he deserves punishment, let God punish him.

The Lord's punishment is not so much a punishment for sin as it is the admonition of a person; it is not for nothing that the word “punishment” itself comes from the word “order”.

Seeing that we ourselves are powerless to reason with the offender, we may well ask for God’s admonition for him (not pain or torment simply in retaliation!), and the Lord Himself will rule in the best, most useful and intelligible way for a person.

Stage four: depart in peace

There is a common misconception: if the relationship has not been restored after the conflict, it means that people have not forgiven each other. But this is not entirely true.

A person cannot suddenly become different, change. But we are not required to continue a relationship with a person who endlessly offends us. There is no need to keep evil and resentment against him inside yourself - yes, but pulling the strap of friendship or other close relationships is unnecessary and even harmful.

For example, if a husband endlessly cheats on his wife, then she, having internally forgiven the traitor, is allowed to leave such a husband in order to save herself from destruction.

Sin cannot be condoned because it is getting worse and worse, and this can lead to real tragedy. For example, if a wife endlessly forgives her husband for assault and remains with him, but he does not change his behavior, then this may end with the husband ending up in prison and the wife in the grave.

Therefore, there is no need to strain to be “friends” with someone who endlessly offends us. Sorry - and move away.

There are situations in a parish when one of the parishioners does not get along with each other, although both are wonderful people, but there is some kind of misunderstanding... Well, what can you do, it’s not always possible to be friends with everyone. This would be ideal, but people fall short of ideal.

In this case, priests advise: If relationships don’t work out, ask each other for forgiveness and stay away from each other. And it doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong. Rather than impose yourself on each other and be tempted, it is better to flee from sin in advance.

But how to feel this inner forgiveness? Try to mentally deliver the offender into the hands of God. But we are by no means talking about a gloating expectation of human torment. Even feeling how everything inside is boiling and hurting, even being unable to personally forgive, we must ask the offender for God’s forgiveness. This is the best, the highest on the path of forgiveness - when we sincerely want the Lord to be merciful to those who have offended us.

That’s why on Forgiveness Sunday they say: “God will forgive.” This means that in eternal life, in the Kingdom of Heaven, we wished this person to be forgiven by God.

Stage five: if the anger persists, forget about your enemy

It happens that time passes, but we cannot forget our pain or forgive the offender. Our enmity has reached a chronic stage. At this stage, it is best to try to sincerely forget your enemy. Stop thinking about him.

Imagine that you are racing in a car along a straight, smooth road. And suddenly you decide to abruptly go back. If you simply switch into reverse gear at full speed, you will not only not go back, you will ruin the car. First you need to brake, stop, and only then reverse in the opposite direction.

This stopping distance and stop is the path from anger and hatred to forgiveness and peace. We definitely need to calm down and even go through a certain stage of indifference towards the offender.

The ability to forgive is not given just like that - it must be developed in oneself.

And last but not least, this is the ability to look at a person more broadly than we are used to. After all, when we classify someone as an enemy, we see only one facet in him that irritates and offends us. We can even equate a person with all his diversity to one of his actions. But people are more complex!

You need to understand that the evil created by man does not reflect his entire essence.

And the most important skill is the ability to see something good in everyone. After all, this is exactly how God forgives us - he sees a good beginning in everyone behind the multitude of sins.

Stage six: pray for your enemies

The next stage of getting rid of the sin of enmity is prayer. Of course, it must be present at all previous stages. And at the first stage we pray to God, asking him to protect us from evil. And during a conflict, it would be good not to answer your interlocutor passionately, but to pray in your heart.

However, in the previous stages, prayer is a means; at this stage, it becomes the goal. It is prayer for a person that is the greatest good, the most important manifestation of love that we can do.

After all, in reality it is impossible to forgive seriously, sincerely. We must admit this in ourselves and stop tormenting and raping our soul, demanding from it what we cannot bear.

And prayer for a person, in which we, at least through our own “I don’t want and can’t”, wish him peace, is within our reach.

Just don’t need to look for your old enemies everywhere in order to “test” yourself - they say, I have forgiven you or not. First, it can reignite old grudges. And secondly, it can lead to an even worse sin: pride. Like, that’s what I am, I forgive everyone.

To protect us from this, the Lord may not give us the sweet feeling of forgiveness. But we should do what we are capable of: not wishing evil, sincerely wishing God’s forgiveness to our enemy. It is enough to even mentally say, “God will forgive.”

Stage seven: avoid evil, do good

This may sound unexpected, but the enemy needs our good deeds even more than a friend. Of course, we need to help our friends, we need to support them... but our friends love us anyway. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to get it back, what gratitude are you for that?

And doing good to the enemy has great meaning both for our own soul and for the relationship with our offender. After all, our behavior may serve as an impetus for him to make peace with us and forgive us. In the end, enmity is a double-edged weapon, and on the other side there is the same person, the same offense, which also needs to be healed.

The beginning of Lent is preceded by Forgiveness Sunday. It is called this way for a reason: on this day it is customary to ask each other for forgiveness for offenses committed.

How did such a tradition arise?

This custom dates back to ancient times. The ascetics of that time retired from monasteries for periods of fasting for solitary prayer. They did not know for sure whether they would live to see the Holy Resurrection of Christ and whether they would see the brethren. Therefore, we said goodbye and made peace with everyone - what if this was the last opportunity? Only after this did they go into the desert or into seclusion.

The importance of reconciliation

Throughout Christian history there has always been a strong emphasis on forgiveness.

For example, in the “Our Father” there are the lines And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. If a person holds a grudge against someone, how can he recite the Lord’s Prayer? Isn’t he being a hypocrite when he asks God to forgive him his sins, but he himself cannot reconcile with a relative, friend, colleague?

To improve relations with someone with whom we are offended, we do not need to wait for Forgiveness Sunday.

Priests do not allow a person who harbors a hidden evil to receive Holy Communion. And this is not a manifestation of hard-heartedness on the part of the clergyman, but of the fulfillment of the commandment of the Savior Himself. After all, Christ says in the Sermon on the Mount:

If you bring your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go first reconcile with your brother, and then come and bring your gift

In the Follow-up to Holy Communion there are words with a similar meaning:

Drinking divine blood for Communion, first reconcile with those who insulted you, and then eat the mysterious food with boldness

It turns out that for every believer, their “Forgiveness Sunday” comes not only once a year, but also constantly during preparation for the Eucharist.

Example of Christ

God loves everyone and forgives their sins. But man, as the image of God, must also not hold a grudge against anyone. Of course, there are times when it is very difficult to get rid of resentment.

Sometimes a person even wants revenge. How can parents forgive their child's killer? How to cope with the death of a loved one as a result of a medical error?

In such cases, one can only remember the example of Christ. Jesus did not sin in any way, but He was sentenced to death and crucified. And even on the cross he prayed for the offenders: Father! Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

Christ himself is the first to show us an example of how to act.

Some saints give valuable advice: do not go to bed until you have made peace with all the offenders. If you asked someone else for forgiveness and they rejected it, pray for the person. After all, he is unhappy.

Gospel reading on Forgiveness Sunday

Not only priests, but also psychologists speak about the negative impact of insults. A person eats himself from the inside, loses calm and peace of mind. Also, holding a grudge against others can cause cancer.

But for a believer, this is not even the worst consequence of hidden grievances. What could be worse than incurable diseases? - you ask. The answer lies in the Gospel passage read at the Liturgy on Forgiveness Sunday:

For if you forgive people their sins, then your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, and if you do not forgive people their sins, then Your father will not forgive your sins

Indeed, what could be worse than being unforgiven by God Himself?

That is why, before the beginning of Great Lent and great repentance, one must let go of all grievances and find peace of mind. This will make it much easier to get into a prayerful mood.

You need to face those you have harmed. If you can’t see us, you can call. The main thing is to do all this not formally, but with heartfelt contrition.

In churches it is also customary to perform the rite of forgiveness after Vespers on Forgiveness Sunday. First, the priest kneels and asks for forgiveness from the parishioners. Believers also respond with a bow and the words “God will forgive, and we forgive.” Then the parishioners one by one approach the rector, bow to the ground and ask him for forgiveness. Then all the believers take turns approaching those present in the temple and asking them to forgive their sinners. To which they receive the answer: God forgives and I forgive.

This rite is of particular importance in communities or close-knit parishes, where everyone knows each other and communicates outside the church. If you see a person for the first time, you have never crossed paths with him before, then you are unlikely to offend him. Then is it worth asking for forgiveness?

Also, among the parishioners you know, there will be those who have not done anything bad to you. In such cases, Archpriest Dimitry Struyev advises answering: “I have nothing to forgive you for,” so as not to take the name of the Lord in vain.

On Forgiveness Sunday, it is important to reconcile not only with those whom we ourselves have offended, but also with those who have harmed us. You need to “shut up” your pride and show humility. If the sinless Christ forgave even His murderers and redeemed everyone with His Blood, then how can we hold a grudge against our neighbor? After all, all we need is a sincere desire and courage to utter just two words: "I'm sorry".

Watch the sermon on Forgiveness Sunday and a fragment of the rite of forgiveness in this video:

Take it for yourself and tell your friends!

Why is Sunday called Forgiven?

The Church honors Forgiveness Sunday on the eve of Great Lent, during Maslenitsa week. This day concludes the last week in which it is allowed to eat milk, cottage cheese and eggs in preparation for the upcoming forty-day fast. Reconciliation with the offended is the first step to subsequent work on oneself, to cleansing the soul and preparing for deep repentance before Easter. With a relieved, reconciled soul, the believer enters fasting and strives for self-improvement, for God, in order to confess and deservedly partake of the Holy Sacraments, and to acquire the gospel virtues in spiritual achievement.

How to ask for forgiveness correctly?

For a long time, there has been a tradition of sincerely and sincerely asking for forgiveness from colleagues, neighbors, relatives with the words: “Forgive me for sinning before you!”, to which the answer follows: “God will forgive, and I forgive you, forgive me too!” » After which a Christian kiss is performed three times on the cheek. If a person cannot forgive and ask for forgiveness himself, the road to repentance and the Grace of God is closed to him, since pride has paralyzed his soul. Therefore, it is so important to sincerely pray for a once offended person, to see, first of all, one’s own sins and personal imperfections. Even if he cannot forgive a long-standing sin, he must find the strength not to respond with bitterness, to consign everything bad to oblivion, and to avoid condemnation.

Advice. Start praying for your enemies and be sure to go to confession in Church!

The story of Forgiveness Sunday

The origins of this holiday originate from the life of the first righteous people of Egypt, who secluded themselves with prayers in the desert for 40 days to prepare for (like the Lord), to overcome temptations and strengthen the soul.

In the waterless wasteland, great dangers awaited the ascetics: wild animals and poisonous insects, physical weakness due to lack of water. Therefore, they asked each other for forgiveness, as if they were preparing for death, forgiving all sins. Gradually this tradition became established in the rituals of the Church.

Among the Russian people, Forgiveness Sunday has always been revered: in families, the elders asked for forgiveness from the younger ones, the rich and noble - from their servants and peasants. In the villages, peasants went to visit neighbors and relatives, visited the sick and remembered lonely relatives with the desire to help them as much as possible.

The Tsar was the first to set an example of Christian humility: he asked for forgiveness from the monastic brethren and bishops, from the soldiers in the army, carried out an amnesty for those convicted and distributed alms everywhere. On this day, military operations were even suspended.

Worship in the temple

The service on Forgiveness Sunday begins with a recollection of the events of Adam's expulsion from Eden (Paradise) due to the Fall. The priests serve the Liturgy in golden vestments, read the Gospel of Matthew and an excerpt from the Sermon on the Mount, which talks about forgiveness of others' insults as an important condition for the Lord to forgive one's own sins, and a condition for acquiring heavenly treasures. An analogy is drawn between the sinfulness of humanity and the state of the soul of fallen Adam. Adam's lines of contrition about his own sins sound piercingly.

After the Liturgy, Vespers begins, before which there is reading for 9 hours. The service opens with the singing of the prokemne “Blessed is our God” and at the same time the clergy exit with censing. Then the prokemenes sound: “Quiet Light”, “Do not turn Your face away from Your servant...”. The prayer “Grant, O Lord” is said.

Evening prayers are performed in a minor key. The rector loudly reads the prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian with a threefold bow. Then he says “Master is Most Merciful,” and those present kneel.

Next is the Rite of Forgiveness.

The rector bows before the images of Jesus Christ and the Most Pure Virgin Mary, kisses the cross and venerates the icons. Stichera and prokeimenons are heard glorifying the Heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit, Christ and the Mother of God, calling for the spiritual feat of Lent and preparation for participation in the eternal Easter joy.

After this, the rector delivers the text of the sermon, at the end of which he humbly asks for forgiveness from the parishioners. The clergy present follow him by venerating the images and the cross. They ask each other for forgiveness. The laity also kiss the cross.

Folk traditions

Forgiveness Sunday coincides with the period of mass festivities in honor of Maslenitsa, but this holiday is filled with deep spiritual meaning and is the threshold of fasting as a period of spiritual trials and struggle with passions.

In honor of the holiday, it was customary to set the table and call close and distant relatives.

They prepared simple dishes, excluding meat and poultry.

They put on the table:

– baked fish;

– fish snacks, caviar;

– plain and yeast pancakes with wheat, buckwheat, oatmeal flour with sour cream and filling;

– dumplings and cheesecakes;

- pies and pies.

This feast brought together all relatives, young and older generations: here differences were smoothed out and long-standing grievances were forgiven. The holiday traditions are still alive today. It is customary to give gifts and make donations to the poor, to show mercy and love for others. At the courts of rich people, food was provided for the poor; anyone could take part in it.

The last Sunday before Great Lent is Forgiveness. But there are few topics that raise as many questions as the topic of forgiveness as a topic of relationships between people. I want peace, but sometimes it’s even the opposite: confusion, lack of agreement, bewilderment.

Answers priest Peter Kolomeytsev, Dean of the Faculty of Psychology of the Saint Apostle John the Theologian Moscow Polytechnic Institute, cleric of the Church of Cosmas and Damian in Shubin.

Asking for forgiveness means taking risks

Priest Peter Kolomeytsev. Photo: facebook.com/o.petr.kolomeitsev

Here is a family where there are both believers and non-believers. And believers ask for forgiveness from non-believers on Forgiveness Day, and non-believers do not ask for anything in return, but on the contrary, they get used to the fact that they are the ones who forgive all the time. And they assume by default: if they ask for forgiveness, it means they are guilty of something. But in this case, doesn’t my forgiveness give people a reason to remain in error?

I can imagine how hard it really can sometimes sound when a person on Forgiveness Sunday says: “Forgive me for Christ’s sake,” and so on. And in response he receives: “Yes, indeed.” That's for sure. It's hard to forgive you. Well, okay. So be it, I’ll forgive you, because all of you are churchmen.” And they don’t ask us for forgiveness in return.

But we don’t ask for forgiveness so that they can immediately ask us for forgiveness!

We ask for forgiveness not in order to then say: “Go ahead and forgive me.” Or: “Go ahead, ask me for forgiveness.”

The main thing on this day is to ask for forgiveness yourself. Therefore, here it is quite possible to be prepared for such a one-sided reaction.

Of course, it turns out that we are acting very unpedagogically. But the fact is that forgiveness is not asked for pedagogical reasons.

The fear of this lack of pedagogy is our everyday, worldly fear: “But won’t you be left a fool?

What if you ask for it, but you don’t have it? What will happen then? Maybe we shouldn't rush? Or maybe he actually deserved what they did to him?” And so on.

This, roughly speaking, is like asking the question: should we wash our hands if a person with unwashed hands sits next to us? He will sit down with unwashed hands, and we will be like fools with washed hands or washed necks. That is, this fear of not being pedagogical, it is akin to the fear of being a fool with a washed neck.

By asking for forgiveness, we cleanse our soul. We want there to be no resentment in it, because we know that this resentment in the soul is destructive, it is harmful to the soul. We ask for forgiveness because we know that the Lord said: we must repent and we must forgive.

And it seems to me that in such a situation, everyone decides for themselves whether to wash their hands or not, to ask for forgiveness or not.

There is no need to hold grudges against those who never asked us for forgiveness. The Scripture says, “Let not the sun go down on your wrath.” That is, before sunset you need to try to put an end to the insults yourself. Don’t go to sleep holding grudges, simply because you may not wake up and go with these grudges into eternity.

What if you offended a loved one, a weak one?

Photo from belverede.blogspot.ru

If you have offended someone close and dear to you, then it is many times harder to forgive. It is easier to forgive when they offend you personally. When it’s different, we often come to the defense of the weak, the child or the parents.

Yes, here we are ready to lay down our souls for our friends. And the prophets denounced people not for themselves, but for God, for truth and justice. Throw stones at a prophet, throw dirt at him, he is a prophet. Unfortunately, they were stoned quite often. But the prophet stands up for the offended, for the insulted. He denounces the decline of morals, he denounces the falling away from God.

By standing up for others, we are being fair. It is only important that we really understand the limits, that we act not biasedly: “they offended me” and no matter for what or what, but understand that this aggressive person is really wrong.

Yes, we cannot forgive the offender for what he did to our child or our parents. The saints could do this. Let us remember Elizaveta Fedorovna, the great martyr, who asked to have mercy on her husband’s murderer and to cancel the death sentence. In this case, she really wanted the person to come to realization, repentance, so that God’s power would be over him.

Therefore, in such matters, we can turn to the saints who were able to forgive, to the holy Grand Duchess Elizabeth for prayerful help, so that we, too, can place concern for the human soul of the offender above any earthly offense.

You cannot profane God’s commandment of forgiveness

Photo from droplak.ru

Let's say a person had a dispute with another and, having looked at everything again, the person does not find his guilt or wrong. But Forgiveness Resurrection comes, and the question arises: in this case, should you ask the one with whom you had a dispute, maybe a conflict, but where you do not feel your guilt in the most sincere way - forgiveness? After all, if you ask, he will decide that he was right, and you will admit your guilt. Again, it turns out that with your forgiveness you are misleading the person. And the situation itself is distorted: after all, there is the truth of the situation, you cannot sacrifice it.

In this case, if you still decide to ask for forgiveness, you need to explain why exactly.

For example, you can say: “Forgive me for my irritation, vehemence, and harshness in our argument (if there was such a thing), but I do not consider my actions to be wrong.

That is, you can ask for forgiveness not for erroneous views or actions, but perhaps for an unwise decision to argue about this with someone who cannot accommodate it, or for a not very tactful form of argument.

It happens: a person and I haven’t seen each other for a year or more, haven’t communicated. On Forgiven, he calls and says: “Please forgive me.” I ask him: “For what?” “No way. It’s just the way it’s supposed to be.” This is also a strange moment, because it turns out that I took part in a “ritual”.

If I haven’t seen a person for a whole year, and he, for example, was looking for a meeting with me, I can also ask for forgiveness for the fact that we haven’t seen each other. The man wanted and sought this meeting, but I never found time for him. Here your conscience will tell you.

But if we are dealing with a person who is an unbeliever or has little faith, we must strive not to support formal, meaningless actions if he initiates them on his part. You cannot profane the deepest divine commandments. Depending on the situation, you can somehow turn the conversation into an informal direction: ask for forgiveness yourself - if you suddenly offended us in some way, after all, we ourselves do not see and remember everything. Try to make the person understand that, at least for you, this is a very informal moment, on the contrary, it is very important and here’s why.

What does it mean to come to terms with yourself?

Photo from pictaram.com

Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh said that if a person is not at peace with himself, it is difficult for him to be at peace with others and with God. And you need to reconcile in three directions: with yourself, with people, with God. But not everyone understands: how does it come to terms with oneself?

Reconciliation with oneself is a very important part of our asceticism.

Reconciliation with oneself is reconciliation with one’s conscience, which convicts us.

And this ultimately means reconciliation with God.

There is the word “sophronia” - consonance or chastity, as we also translate it. It is the opposite of split consciousness - schizophronia. In fact, this is reconciliation with oneself - sophronia. This is when our thoughts and feelings are consistent with how God sees us, how God intended us.

Schizophronia is a split consciousness, which serves to designate the disease - schizophrenia. This is precisely when there are unreconciled aspects in us, not united into a harmonious, chaste common side, which do not give us peace, tearing our soul apart.

Therefore, in fact, these words - reconciliation with oneself - have a very deep ascetic basis associated with chastity, consent, and a calm conscience.

Of course, coming to terms with yourself is a life-long process, but you need to move.

And sometimes these words are perceived with the opposite, anti-ascetic meaning: as the fact that you need to accept yourself as I am. It’s like “this is how I was born, this is how God designed me, even if he is responsible for everything.” This is precisely the point of view that completely distorts the point of being in agreement with oneself.

Very often such a substitution occurs when a person is asked to “tolerantly” accept his sinful self, his fallen self, his old self, his imperfect self and strengthen himself in the thought that if God created you this way, then He is responsible for it, and you have no responsibility for it you don't carry it. This is, of course, wrong.

Often, in another context, the same phrase “about agreeing with oneself” is perceived as a call to be oneself.

For example, Peer Gynt wanted to be himself, and then they explained to him that in fact he did not want to be himself, but wanted to be satisfied with himself. And these are very different things.

Coordinating yourself with God’s plan for yourself means very seriously, intelligently, intently and constantly working with your soul, heart, checking with the Gospel, relying on the help of your confessor, loved ones whom you trust, who wish you not worldly good, but good in God, who They see both the best and the weakest in you. And in the opposite sense, it is, on the contrary, a rejection of all spiritual work.

When we ask for forgiveness in confession, confessing our sins, will they then be mentioned at the Last Judgment so that everyone knows about them? Or will what is confessed and of which we sincerely repented be crossed out and no longer remembered in eternity?

The Lord told us: “Whoever believes in Me will not be ashamed.” That is, a person who believes in the Lord will not be put to shame. The Lord will not mock this faith. And Elder Paisius the Svyatogorets said: The good God tolerates us with love and does not expose anyone to shame, although he knows, as a knower of the heart, our sinful state. This means we just have to believe that it will be what is best for us.

Can we ask God for revenge?

Photo from greatbigscaryworld.com