The best quotes from Ostap Bender. All quotes from Ostap Bender

Ilya Ilf and Yevgeny Petrov are Soviet writers who co-authored the famous novels “The Twelve Chairs” and “The Golden Calf,” which tell the story of the adventures of the inventive rogue Ostap Bender. Phrases from the dilogy have long become catchphrases. The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken. Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is? Ostap walked into a room that could only be furnished by a creature with the imagination of a woodpecker. - Is this your boy? - Boy, is it bad? Typical boy. Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me! The client must be accustomed to the idea that he will have to give money. He must be morally disarmed, his reactionary possessive instincts suppressed. I'm certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness. This mental exercise seems to have exhausted you greatly. You are becoming stupid right before your eyes. You need to show him some paper, otherwise he won't believe that you exist. The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses, you can fall into it all your life. He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack. Being a beggar is not so bad, especially with a moderate education and a weak voice! However, you can leave, but I warn you, we have long arms!... He stayed - the “long arms” made an unfavorable impression on him. Ostap quickly snatched it from Panikovsky’s hands, saying: “Don’t make a cult out of food.” After that he ate the cucumber himself. Monsieur, it’s not mange pas sis jour. Goeben mir zi bitteetvas kopek auf dem stück ford. Give me something former deputy State Duma. Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them. I have with Soviet power arose over last year serious disagreements. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism. Don't knock your bald head on the parquet - you're not in church, you won't be deceived. - How much is opium for the people? Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complicated thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this thing opens as simply as a box. You just need to be able to open it. He who cannot open it disappears. I will command the parade! Pedestrians must be loved. Pedestrians make up the majority of humanity. Moreover, the best part of it. Pedestrians created the world. The gasoline is yours, the ideas are ours. In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, has taken on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile. The sunset was pure, naive, as if it had been painted by a provincial young lady long before the first, terrible thoughts about men came into her head. If you see an American laughing, it doesn't mean he's funny. He laughs for the reason that an American should laugh. You can be a sweet and smart boy, do well at school, do an excellent course in university sciences - and after several years of regularly visiting the cinema, turn into an idiot. Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood, don’t touch it with your paws. There is always that person who tries his best to be the last to speak. He got so drunk that he could already perform various minor miracles. Just don't shoot at the chandelier, it's unnecessary. He courted a typist whose modest hips unleashed his poetic feelings. - You are a rather vulgar person, you love money more than necessary. - Don’t you like money? - I don’t like it. - Why do you need sixty thousand? - Out of principle! Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut. You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!

The collection includes quotes and phrases from Ostap Bender:

Or maybe they’ll give you the key to the apartment where the money is?
Why are you looking at me like a soldier at a louse? Stunned with happiness?
Wipe your eyes, citizen. Each of your tears is a molecule in space.
For three months I have been feeding him, singing and raising him, and this gigolo is now in third position and declares that he...
The subject of my lecture is a fruitful opening idea. What, comrades, is a debut and what, comrades, is an idea? The debut, comrades, is “Quasi una fantasia.” And what, comrades, does an idea mean? An idea, comrades, is a human thought, clothed in a logical chess form.

In the center there are no such subtropics for a long time, but locally and on the periphery they still exist!
The secret union of sword and ploughshare! Complete secret organizations!
You have been deceived. They gave you much better fur. These are Shanghai leopards.
Calm down, Mikhelson!
I'll give you parabellum...
Here's the police for you! So much for the high cost of chairs for workers of all countries! Here's to girls' night outings! Here's some gray hair in your beard! Here's a devil in your ribs!
Listen to me, abortion victim!
All smuggling is done in Odessa, on Malaya Arnautskaya Street.
Russia will not forget you!
After all, you are not my mother, my sister, or my lover.
Riot on a ship?
Police representatives can be equated to students and children...
You are a vulgar person, Kisa!
How much is opium for the people?
No criminality. We must honor the code.
Gentlemen! Children will not forget you!
You can get the ears from a dead donkey from Pushkin...
Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complex thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this complex thing opens as simply as a box.
Only small children, street children, are left without a caretaker.
The trial continues, gentlemen of the jury.
Well, you, abortion victim, quickly tell me who you sold the chair to?!
What money? I think you asked me about some money?
Don't be a lady cow.
Kisa, I want to ask you, as an artist - an artist: can you draw?
Nobody likes us, except for the Criminal Investigation Department, which doesn’t like us either.
I will command the parade!
We are strangers at this celebration of life.
Be strong! Russia will not forget you! Abroad will help us!
Maybe I should also give you the key to the apartment where the money is?
Who do you think this powerful old man is? Don't say, you can't know. This is a giant of thought, the father of Russian democracy and a person close to the emperor.

The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury!
Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!
Shut up, sadness, shut up, Kisa!
The office writes.
I would stuff your snout, but Zarathustra doesn’t allow it.
Sour matter, Leichtweiss cave.
Are there any of ours in the city?
Kitty, let's be immortalized too. Let's fill Mika's tanks. By the way, I also have chalk! By God, I’ll go ahead and write: “Kisa and Osya were here.”
Well, to hell with you! Get lost here with your chair! And my life is dear to me as a memory!
A sultry woman is a poet's dream.
Well, bye! Write letters!..
Abroad will help us.
He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.
There are also sleeves from a vest, a donut hole and dead donkey ears.
Give me the sausage, you fool! I will forgive everything!
You are truly a hero of labor. You need to erect a monument not made by hands!
You are not in church, you will not be deceived!
Five hundred rubles can save a giant of thought.
What regiment did you serve in?
Soon the cats will be born!
The time we have is money we don't have.
Doubt our money?!
Wine, women and cards are provided for us.
I consider the evening of memories closed.
It's time for you, leader, to be treated with electricity.
Your gopher is flying to his hen on the wings of love!
What regiment did you serve in?
Who did you sell the chair to?! (Here Alexander Yakovlevich thought with his inner instinct that now they would beat him, maybe even kick him).
Take care of your pince-nez, Kitty - it’s about to start!
Well stated, dog, study.
We will wear cambric foot wraps and eat Margot cream.
This is typical foppery: robbing a poor widow.
And your janitor is quite a big vulgar guy. Is it possible to get so drunk on a ruble?!

Selection catch phrases And famous quotes Ostap Bender - a great schemer, an ideological fighter for banknotes, who knew four hundred relatively honest ways of taking money, and was also the main character of the novels by Yevgeny Petrov and Ilya Ilf - “The Twelve Chairs” and “The Golden Calf”.

Ilya Ilf and Evgeny Petrov are one of the most notable satirists and humorists of the Soviet era, whose books make us laugh and surprise us to this day. And quotes from Ostap Bender and other heroes have already become real classics. In this post, I propose to recall everyone’s favorite phrases of the heroes.

The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken.

Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is?

Ostap walked into a room that could only be furnished by a creature with the imagination of a woodpecker.

Is this your boy?

Boy, is it bad? Typical boy. Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!

The client must be accustomed to the idea that he will have to give money. He must be morally disarmed, his reactionary possessive instincts suppressed.

I'm certainly not a cherub. I don't have wings, but I respect the Criminal Code. This is my weakness.

This mental exercise seems to have exhausted you greatly. You are becoming stupid right before your eyes.

You need to show him some paper, otherwise he won't believe that you exist.

The financial abyss is the deepest of all abysses, you can fall into it all your life.

He loved and suffered. He loved money and suffered from its lack.

Being a beggar is not so bad, especially with a moderate education and a weak voice!

However, you can leave, but I warn you, we have long arms!... He stayed - the “long arms” made an unfavorable impression on him.

Ostap quickly snatched it from Panikovsky’s hands, saying:
- Don’t make a cult out of food.
After that he ate the cucumber himself.

Monsieur, it’s not mange pas sis jour. Goeben mir zi bitteetvas kopek auf dem stück ford. Give something to the former State Duma deputy.

Cold soft-boiled eggs are very tasteless food, and a good, cheerful person would never eat them.

Over the past year, serious disagreements have arisen between me and the Soviet authorities. She wants to build socialism, but I don’t want to. I'm bored of building socialism.

Don't knock your bald head on the parquet

You are not in church, you will not be deceived.

How much is opium for the people?

Life, gentlemen of the jury, is a complicated thing, but, gentlemen of the jury, this thing opens as simply as a box.
You just need to be able to open it. He who cannot open it disappears

I will command the parade!

Pedestrians must be loved. Pedestrians make up the majority of humanity. Moreover, the best part of it. Pedestrians created the world.

The gasoline is yours, the ideas are ours.

In our vast country, an ordinary car, intended, according to pedestrians, for the peaceful transportation of people and goods, has taken on the menacing shape of a fratricidal projectile.

The sunset was pure, naive, as if it had been painted by a provincial young lady long before the first, terrible thoughts about men came into her head.

If you see an American laughing, it doesn't mean he's funny. He laughs for the reason that an American should laugh.

You can be a sweet and smart boy, do well at school, do an excellent course in university sciences - and after several years of regularly visiting the cinema, turn into an idiot.

Rio de Janeiro is the crystal dream of my childhood, don’t touch it with your paws.

There is always that person who tries his best to be the last to speak.

He got so drunk that he could already perform various minor miracles.

Just don't shoot at the chandelier, it's unnecessary.

He courted a typist whose modest hips unleashed his poetic feelings.

You are a rather vulgar person, you love money more than necessary.
- Don’t you like money?
- I don’t like it.
- Why do you need sixty thousand?
- Out of principle!

Although we are not in Paris, you are welcome to our hut.

You are an interesting person! Everything is fine with you. It’s amazing, with such happiness - and in freedom!

The ice has broken, gentlemen of the jury, the ice has broken.

Maybe I should give you another key to the apartment where the money is?

Ostap walked into a room that could only be furnished by a creature with the imagination of a woodpecker.

- Is this your boy?
- Boy, is it bad? Typical boy. Whoever says it's a girl, let him be the first to throw a stone at me!